


All-American Boy

by CarasaurusWrex



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Agnostic Castiel, Agnostic Character, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Astroglide Makes an Appearance, Astroglide: The Official Lubricant of the Supernatural Fandom, Atheism, Atheist Character, Atheist Dean Winchester, Author is a Card Carrying Member of Team Everyone Switches Forever, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Cas dates someone else, Castiel Has a Religious Family, Charlie Bradbury Knows All, Charlie Bradbury Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Christmas, Coming Out, Dean in Panties, Dean is dating someone else, Eventual Smut, Family Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Formally Lutheran Castiel, Formally Religious Castiel, Friends to Lovers, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Halloween, Homophobia, Introducing Hector, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, Lots of UST, M/M, Max is a bag of dicks, Mild stalking by an obsessed parent, Misunderstandings, New Years, Past Relationship(s), Recreational Drug Use, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Spanking, Spring Break, Switch Castiel, Switch Dean, Tattoos, Team Dean's Red Ass, Thanksgiving, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Toxic Relationship, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, Triggers, Tropes, Truth or Dare, Underage Drinking, Valentine's Day, Vegetarians & Vegans, after lots of angst of course, briefly, engineering student Dean, if you can even call it that, lots of cute, not dean or cas, roughly based on my own life, vegan Sam Winchester, vet student Cas, wiccan characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-02-23 19:07:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 54,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13196649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarasaurusWrex/pseuds/CarasaurusWrex
Summary: It's James Castiel Novak's first semester away at school. Against his parents' wishes, he attended a secular university and was basically kicked out of his home. Not even his twin sister, Anna, will speak to him anymore. Only his older brother, Gabe, is still involved in Cas's life these days.Still in the closet, Cas soon develops a crush on his roommate, Dean. Too bad he's straight.Cas and Dean develop a fast friendship, having much in common. For all their differences, they see the world very similarly. If only Cas could get over this little crush of his.OR the college AU where Cas is gay, formally Lutheran, and agnostic and Dean is a closeted bi atheist.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, y'all! I've been wanting to write an AU for a while and have basically outlined this entire story so I thought it was time, even though I'm still writing my other fics. Please Stay and Find My Bluebird are IN NO WAY abandoned, just writing this when I have writer's block with Bluebird. Please Stay is currently on hiatus.
> 
> The university in this is made up but roughly based on the college I went to mixed with the university a friend of mine went to. The names have all been changed to protect our identities but they say to write what you know. I don't know how other universities operate, outside television and movies. I know our experiences are probably not universal, but I can't imagine it's TOO different from everyone else's.
> 
> Just a warning, this one's going to get pretty heavy. I will be discussing a lot from my personal life as I explore these characters. There will be a discussion about coming out as bi as well as my own experience with religion. This is in no way supposed to convert/deconvert anyone from their personal belief systems. However, for the sake of transparency I will come forth and say that I am an atheist. Castiel's experience with his hyper-religious family is supposed to be reflective of my own. I understand that not all religious people are like this, it is just my experience. I don't want to debate or discuss religion either so If your goal here is to reconvert me, please don't try. I am simply here to tell a story.
> 
> Loosely based on Steve Grand's [All-American Boy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjiyjYCwNyY%20)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A pair of star-crossed lovers...

**Chapter 1**

'Cause the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly.

-Owl City, Vanilla Twilight

* * *

**Cas:**

“So, you ready?” Gabe asked him.

Still staring straight ahead at the dorm building that would become his home for the next eight months, Cas nodded.

Gabe snapped in front of his face, getting Cas to finally look at him. “Hey, why don’t you go check in and I’ll park the truck where everyone’s unloading?” his older brother suggested.

“Y-yeah. Sounds good,” Cas stammered, fumbling with his seatbelt.

Gabe put his hand on his shoulder. “Chill out, little bro. Everything’s going to be fine. Promise.”

Cas nodded again, before hopping out his brother’s ancient Ford truck.

 _Everything’s going to be okay,_ he repeated to himself, before taking a deep breath and approaching the Norman Complex, the smallest dormitory on Birchwood’s campus. He was to be staying in Boyd hall. Normally, freshman stayed in at the Lawrence Complex but the halls there were known for being loud and rambunctious. Due to being an early applicant, he was among the first to choose where to live. And he picked Norman. The dining hall there was mediocre, nothing compared to Westwood or the Student Center, but it was certainly better than what Lawrence had to offer.

Inside the complex, he followed signs until he found his hall. Near the mailboxes, there was a table set up with who he assumed were the RAs checking students in. He stood in the surprisingly short line and waited his turn. When he approached a red-headed resident assistant with a clipboard, he gave her his name.

“Novak, Novak, Novak,” she said, turning a couple pages until she found him. “Ah, there you are. James? Or do you prefer Jim? Or Jimmy?”

“Uh, neither,” Cas admitted. “I go by my middle name, actually. Castiel. But, uh, everyone just calls me Cas.”

“Well, alright then, Cas,” the girl said with a smile. “My name’s Charlie and it looks like you’re on my floor. Here’s your welcome packet, and your key. If you’ll step over here so we can take your picture for your student ID.”

Charlie directed him towards the corner of the room where a simple grey backdrop was set up. He set his packet and key on the ground and posed with his arms crossed. It was a good thing he decided to dress up for move in.

“Okay, say, ‘cheese,’” she said, snapping the picture. She looked down at the digital camera. “Looking good. You wanna see? We can do up to one retake if you want.” She showed Cas the picture. Noticing his frown she quickly said, “Yeah, the IDs are in black and white. Sorry about that. Other than the old-fashioney-ness, you okay with this one or do you want a redo?”

Cas looked at the picture, squinting his eyes. “No, it’s okay. Thank you Charlie.”

“Not a problem. These should be printed and ready by tomorrow’s meeting. For now, the doors will be open for move in. Any questions?”

Cas bent down to pick up his things. “No, thank you,” he told her. “I’m just gonna find my brother and unpack.”

“Sure thing,” Charlie said, returning to assist the growing line of students.

Cas went back outside and looked around, quickly spotting his brother’s green and white pickup near the unloading area. He already had a cart and was stacking totes filled with all the essentials he’d need to be away from home for eight months. The truth was, home these days was his twenty-six year old brother’s apartment. His stuff had been packed away in totes all summer, ever since he’d gotten kicked out of his parents’ home.

See, the Novaks were extremely religious. Lutheran, to be specific. And when Castiel got accepted into Birchwood University in Chicago instead of Concordia or Augustana or any number of Lutheran colleges in the United States… Well, let’s just say his mother wasn’t too happy.

When asked why he didn’t just go to Concordia if he wanted to live in Chicago, Cas told he he wasn’t sure he believed in the same things she did. Apparently that was the wrong answer. She told him that she ‘didn’t ask for much’ but that belief in God was a requirement to live in her household. So he’d been crashing on the couch in his brother’s one bedroom apartment in Chicago since he graduated in June.

His parents, Chuck and Naomi Novak weren’t divorced but no longer lived with each other. His dad had been living with Aunt Amara for about a year now. Aunt Amara was eighteen years younger than his father and lived in California. Cas hadn’t seen his dad since the summer before his senior year. He didn’t even show up for his and his twin sister Anna’s graduation.

Anna, of course, like the dutiful daughter, was attending Concordia. Even though they’d be in the same city, Cas doubted they’d see each other. She was still under Naomi’s control, unfortunately.

Cas was one of seven children. There was his twin Anna, of course as well as his younger brother Alfie. Alf was only twelve and was the last child living in the Novak residence. Gabriel was the middle child at twenty-six and after that was thirty-two year old Nick, who Cas called Lucifer behind his back. There was also Uriel who was thirty-six and adopted as well as the Novak’s first child, Zach, whom they had when they were just nineteen years old. He was thirty-eight.

As for Naomi, she was now seeing a man twenty-one years younger than herself. Thirty-five year old Mike was younger than his mother’s eldest son, and Cas just found that to be gross, if he was being honest.

“Earth to Cas,” Gabe said, snapping him out of his daydream. “I asked if you knew what room you were in.”

“Uh,” Cas said, retrieving the key from his pocket. “Room 117.”

“Alright, Master Chief. Lead the way.”

Gabe pushed the cart while Cas navigated the maze of a hallway, until he found the room that would be his home for the next two semesters. To his surprise, the door was already propped open. Inside, was a boy laying on one of the beds, with earplugs in listening to music. His eyes were closed and one hand was behind his head, the other resting on his stomach. His shirt was hiked up a bit, revealing just a sliver of stomach. With his slightly feminine features and his light brown, almost blonde hair, he was, by far, the cutest boy Cas had ever seen.

* * *

 

**Dean:**

“I don’t see why I can’t just room with you,” Dean grumbled as his best friend Charlie handed him his key and welcome packet.

The red-head rolled her eyes. “You know why,” she said. “Norman may be co-ed but that doesn’t mean they let boys and girls be roommates. Especially not since they have suite bathrooms! Besides, I’m an RA so I get a room to myself anyway.”

Dean stuck out his tongue at her. “Who’s my roommate anyway?” he asked, pulling out his student ID so he could swipe in to the dorms.

“Don’t bother,” Charlie told him. “They’re unlocked until the freshmen get their IDs printed out.” She looked down at the roster. “Uh, let’s see… Looks like his name is James Novak.”

“Does he have a picture?” Dean asked and Charlie sighed before getting up to move behind the counter where the RA’s as well as other student employees worked during ‘desk duty.’

She typed his name into the database. “Nope. Looks like you’re rooming with a freshman. Guy must’ve applied early to get out of living in Lawrence.”

Dean sighed. “At least it’s only for another year. Kevin said I could live with him junior year. He’s got that apartment off campus. If you don’t want to do the whole RA thing your senior year, you could stay with us,” Dean offered.

Charlie scoffed. “I didn’t get past the interview process just to do this one year, Dean. Besides, I get free room and board. No way I’m giving that up.”

Dean shrugged, pulling his lanyard out of his pocket (only freshman wore them around their necks) and put his new key on the ring. “Yeah, I guess. So this James guy isn’t moving in until tomorrow, I take it?”

Charlie nodded. “Yep. Friday move-ins are for Honors College and upperclassmen only.”

“Like anyone besides you guys lives in the dorms after their second year…” Dean said, annoyed that she said ‘upperclassmen’ instead of just ‘sophomores.’

Charlie narrowed her eyes at him. “Lots of people do, Dean. I’ve got a few juniors and seniors on the roster for our floor.”

“Whatever… Dad and Sammy are parking Bobby’s van. Better find them before Dad throws a hissy fit about me taking too long. If he knew I was talking to you…” Dean shook his head.

“What, your dad still thinks it’s gross that I’m a big ol’ lesbian?” the junior said, rolling her eyes.

“He thinks your a ‘bad influence’ on me,” Dean said, actually using air quotes even though they were super dorky.

Charlie snort-laughed. “If only he knew.”

“He doesn’t,” Dean said, pointing at her. “And he’s not gonna find out.”

She put up her hands in surrender. “It’s not my secret to tell.”

* * *

Dean spent the whole afternoon unpacking, with his father and little brother’s help of course. After his family hugged him goodbye and went back to Lebanon, Kansas, Dean went down to Norman’s cafeteria and ordered a personal pan pizza. It wasn’t the fanciest eating establishment on campus, but he was signed up for the twenty-one meals a week plan and he got four dollars for breakfast, and eight for lunch and dinner to spend as well as one-hundred in what they called ‘bulldog cash’ as spending money to use on toiletries and in case he went over his meal allotment. He could also use it on laundry if he wanted to. Although, he usually just used one of the rolls of quarters his parents gave him at the beginning of each semester. Birchwood was just awesome like that. In fact, five years in a row it had been rated the top University dining in the state. Nothing compared.

As an RA, Charlie had to be on call three weekends out of the month. Meaning, even if she wasn’t on duty, she still had to be in the building by midnight, just in case there was an emergency. And since Kevin wasn’t going to move into his apartment until the next morning, Dean spent the evening hanging out with Charlie until the wee hours of the morning. Even though boys and girls weren't allowed to live with each other, the dorms had no rules about co-eds from the same hall staying the night with one another. It was a loophole many students used to their advantage. The rules were even relaxed for students from other dorms, only requiring them to sign in every night. Non-students needed a visitor pass and couldn’t stay more than three consecutive nights. Again, Birchwood was a pretty awesome school. Some of the schools Dean’s high school buddies went to wouldn't’ even allow opposite gender students to stay the night. Which was stupid, considering they were all adults.

When Dean woke up the next morning, he was pretty groggy. But, he didn’t want to be asleep in case his roomate arrived early. Move in started at nine, so, even though he went to bed at three in the morning, his alarm blared at eight thirty. He got dressed and grabbed some grub before returning to his room and flinging himself on the bed. He pulled up Spotify on his phone and put in his ear plugs, hoping that some music would keep him awake.

The next thing he knew, he was being awoken by the sound of furniture moving across the linoleum floor. He rubbed his eyes and squinted at the origin of the offensive noise.

“Sorry,” said one of the deepest voices Dean had ever heard. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I just… I prefer the desk over here, otherwise the sun is in my eyes and-”

“You must be Jimmy,” Dean said, sitting up. He stretched his arms above his head.

“Uh… Actually, I prefer to go by Cas.”

“Cas? Is that a middle name or something?” Dean asked, finally getting a good look at the guy. Looking back at him were a pair of the bluest eyes Dean had ever seen, framed by a head of dark messy hair. The guy had high cheekbones and a button nose and a small bit of dark stubble lining his jaw. His lips were pink and plush and downright kissable. He was wearing a dress shirt with a tie and suspenders, which normally Dean would be rather turned off by, but on this guy it was just… cute.

“Yeah,” the gorgeous man answered. “It’s short for Castiel.”

To be continued...

* * *

"College age" Misha ladies and gentlegerms. Cas is 18.

And here we have a "college age" Jensen. Dean is 19.

I'm actually not sure how old they are in these pictures but I wanted to give you guys a visual reference. And besides, ain't they adorable?

Here's a Richard who appears to be in his mid-twenties/early thirties (although there's no way to be sure). Gabe is 26.

And here's a young looking Felicia Day. Again, don't quote me on their ages. Charlie is supposed to be 20.

Here is what I pictured for Naomi. A much more casual "mom look" compared to her angel business attire. Let's age her up a bit from 52 to 57, shall we. They had Zach when they were 19.

And a "dad" Chuck look. A lot better than the sweatshirts and tees he wears on the show (let's pretend he's 57).

Aunt Amara. She's 18 years younger than Chuck at 39 (Emily is 38).

Naomi's new boyfriend. He's 35 (same age as Matt) so... 21 years younger than Naomi.

And the kiddos! The rest of the Novak brood...

18 year old Anna:

12 year old Alfie:

32 year old Nick (no idea how old Mark is here):

36 year old Uriel (this is actually Mike Colter because I couldn't find a young picture of the actor who plays Uriel lol):

And, finally, the eldest child, Zach, I used Tyler Hilton since I needed a modern pic and he plays his son (?) on a tv show. He's 34 but the glasses make him look older, maybe? So let's just say 38.

And that's everyone you "met" this chapter! Yay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I hope you like it so far. I don't have a set posting schedule so chapters will not be posted regularly. Some might come rather quickly (that's what she said) and others might take a while to post. Sorry about that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First week of classes and roommate bonding time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a few years since I graduated and I'm desperately trying to remember the required courses I took my freshman year. Once again, not sure how universal this is, but I figured I wanted to be detailed. So, here you go.

**Chapter 2**

And I cast a spell over the west to make you think of me the same way I think of you.

-Fall Out Boy, Bang the Doldrums

* * *

**Cas:**

Trying his best not to wake the sleeping man, Cas and Gabe unloaded the plastic totes and put them in the corner of the room. Cas figured he could stack them on top of the wardrobe once they were empty. After everything was off the cart, Cas walked with Gabe to return it so another student could use it.

“Your roommate’s pretty dreamy,” Gabe commented, nonchalantly.

Gabe was the only person in the world, other than a handful of people he used to hang out with when he was with his ex, who knew he was gay.

Cas shrugged. “I’m not here to get laid, Gabe. I’m here to get an education. You know I want to be a vet someday. And Birchwood has a fantastic pre-veterinary program. I’m not gonna blow it over some crush.”

Gabe quirked an eyebrow at him. “You have a crush on him already?”

Cas scoffed. “No, of course not,” he lied. “I’m just saying. Even if it  _ develops  _ into a crush I’m not going to pursue anything. Besides, he’s probably straight.”

“What makes you say that?”

Cas shrugged. “Most guys are.”

Gabe put his hand on Cas’s shoulder. “Maybe he’ll surprise you,” he offered, squeezing reassuringly. “Hey, kiddo, I gotta get back to the office. You sure you’re gonna be okay?”

The ‘office’ was Gabriel’s candy store. Much to their mother’s dismay, Cas’s older brother used his business degree to open a candy store at Water Tower Place in Chicago. Apparently owning a sweet shop at a mall wasn’t ‘respectable’ and Gabriel became the family embarrassment… Well, after Castiel that was.

Of course, Alfie was still in middle school but had dreams of becoming a teacher. At a respectable Lutheran private school, of course. Anna was in seminary school, hoping to become a pastor, which was enough of a scandal in the Novak household since women were not permitted to become church leaders under the teachings of Marian Luther. Although, that was rapidly changing, many in Pontiac were still old fashioned like that. Nick was the vice president of a company called Roman Enterprises. At only thirty-two, he was the youngest VP in company history. Richard Roman, or Dick as he prefered to be called, was a complete and total monster. On top of screwing over the working and middle classes at every opportunity, he was also the biggest campaign contributor to Donald Trump in 2016. Hence, why Nick was called ‘Lucifer.’ It also helped that Nick and Dick rhymed.

Uriel bragged about the missions trips he took to India and how he was giving children there a ‘Bible based education.’ Every time he talked about how many children came to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, Cas couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Not only was the church erasing these children’s cultural gods, they also weren’t offering them a  _ real  _ education. One that would help them later in life. Cas desperately hoped his brother’s ministry cared just as much about what happened to these kids here on Earth as they did about their souls going to a supposed afterlife.

And finally, Zach was a movie director specializing in films of the spiritual nature. Currently, he was working on making yet another Karen Kingsbury novel into a two hour piece of tooth rotting garbage. Oh, how his mother loved those books. She was  _ extra  _ proud of her eldest son. She was especially drawn towards those who used their creative nature to ‘please the Lord’ hence why she was currently dating the music director of their church.

“If you want me to stay a couple more hours, grab some lunch, I can,” Gabe offered when Cas didn’t say anything.

“No,” Cas shook his head. “It’s a Saturday. I know you need to get back.” He hugged his brother, putting his chin on the shorter man’s head. “Thanks for all your help, Gabe.”

“No sweat, Cassie,” Gabe said, pulling back from the hug. “Just… Call me if you need anything, okay?”

“I will,” Cas promised.

* * *

Back in his room, Cas began unpacking the totes as quietly as possible. He put his clothes in the wardrobe/dresser and filled the desk with school supplies. He put his shower caddy near the door to the bathroom suite that was between their room and the room next door. At Norman, there was only four students to a bathroom. Each room also had a sink so that students wouldn’t take up the bathroom just to brush their teeth. It was much better than the bathrooms that were shared by the whole floor at Lawrence Complex. He put his extra toiletries, miscellaneous items, and snacks in the end table by the bed and made his twin XL. Why college beds were longer than standard, Cas would never understand. He sat down at the desk and opened his laptop but was distracted by the sun shining from the window to his right. If he could just put the desk on the wall near the door and move his wardrobe/dresser combo to where the desk was near the door to the restroom it would fix the problem.

Forgetting his roommate was still asleep he began pushing his desk towards its destination. It made a nails-on-a-chalkboard noise as it scraped across the ugly tile, and only then did Cas remember the gorgeous man sleeping in the next bed.

“Sorry,” Cas said with a wince. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I just… I prefer the desk over here, otherwise the sun is in my eyes and-”

“You must be Jimmy,” the boy said, sitting up. He stretched his arms above his head and Cas was once again rewarded with a flash of stomach. His mouth basically watered at the sight of defined, yet soft abs.

“Uh… Actually, I prefer to go by Cas,” he said, his mouth suddenly dry. He swallowed and tried to look away, but found he couldn’t.

“Cas? Is that a middle name or something?” the boy asked, staring at Cas as if he were appraising him. 

“Yeah,” Cas answered, feeling shy. “It’s short for Castiel.”

The boy swung his legs over the edge of the bed, and stood up. “The name’s Dean,” he said, extending his hand for Cas to shake. Castiel shook his hand. It was callused and warm. “I take it you’re a freshman,” Dean said, gesturing towards the purple Boyd Hall lanyard Cas was wearing around his neck. “You guys all do that your first semester.”

Cas looked down at Dean’s jeans and noticed a Batman lanyard hanging out of his pocket. “I see you decided not to use the lanyard that came with our key,” he observed and Dean huffed a laugh.

“Nah, stopped doing that second semester last year. It kinda paints a target on your back as ‘fresh meat,’” he explained. “Buy your own lanyard, don’t wear it around your neck, and keep your keycard in your wallet instead of attached to your lanyard. It’s much less dorky when you take it out to pay for meals and stuff.”

“So the card that lets us into our hall is also our meal card?” Cas asked since Charlie hadn’t explained how the keycards worked yet. They were supposed to have a freshman meeting the following morning at ten.

Dean nodded. “Yep. It also gets us into Norman after midnight and doubles as a library card and laundry card if you have Bulldog Cash. Multi-purpose.” His roommate flashed him a charming smile and Cas almost swooned.

“Cool,” Cas said, removing his lanyard from around his neck and slipping it into his pocket as Dean had. “So are you a sophomore?”

“Yep. Engineering student. You?”

“Pre-vet,” Cas said and Dean nodded.

“I guess we’ll both be spending a lot of time in the science building then,” the man observed.

“I suppose. I… I took a tour when I got accepted but I don’t quite remember where everything’s at,” Cas admitted.

“Basically, everything down one of three streets. The main stretch, Michelangelo Boulevard, the one with the big-ass statue of the university's founders, is where most colleges are located, like the architecture building and Teachers’ College, as well as Birtch Library and a few other buildings. Lakeside Avenue and University Way are the other two main streets. But, uh, you’ll get the hang of it,” Dean explained, charming smile never leaving his lips.

Cas couldn’t help but look down at the man’s plush mouth, licking his own lips as he did so. “I suppose I will. I’m just nervous I guess,” Cas said, looking up to meet the man’s bright green eyes.

Dean nodded, eyes trailing down to Cas’s lips as well. Or was that just Cas’s imagination? “Yeah, it gets easier after the first week or two… There’s also the Quad. That’s where the science building and the museum are located. Near that giant-ass clock tower.”

“So, just go towards the tower and I’ll be fine?” Cas asked, still a bit nervous about finding his way to class on Monday.

Dean nodded. “Basically.” He looked at the alarm clock by his bed, making note of the time. “Oh shit is it two o’clock already? Lunch ends at three. Wanna get some with me…? Uh, that is if you haven’t already eaten.”

Cas shook his head. “No, I’ve been unpacking for a couple of hours. I completely lost track of time," he said sheepishly.

Dean looked around Cas’s side of the room. “Yeah, that side has less room because of the bathroom and the sink. Sorry about that… You need help moving your desk?”

Cas nodded and pointed towards the wardrobe combo. “I want to switch it with my wardrobe so I’m not distracted by the sun.”

“No problem,” Dean said, rolling up the sleeves of his flannel and offering him another one of those million dollar smiles.

* * *

Dean showed him the fare Norman Complex had to offer. There was a salad bar, a grill, a pan pizza oven, a sandwich station, a ‘southern comfort food’ area and a stir-fry station as well as a pastry station with enticing looking desserts. There was also an al-la-carte section where students could buy foods they could bring back to their rooms. Every eating area had one. You could also find toiletries in this area like shampoo and soap, and to Cas's surprise, condoms.

“I see they have lot of healthier options as well,” Cas said, getting in line for the stir-fry.

Dean nodded. “Yeah, between that, all the walking, and the recplex, it’s real easy to avoid the freshman fifteen if you want to… On the other hand, pie for every meal doesn’t exactly help that,” he said, looking longingly at the pastry station. “You get your fried veggies, I’m gonna go grab a burger,” Dean said, heading towards the grill.

Cas waited for his stir-fry, noting that the price took up almost all his allotted eight dollars, and got an iced tear from the soda station. He then went to pay for his food. Since he didn’t have his meal card yet, he used one of the cupons Charlie gave out in the welcome packet.

Meal paid for, he found Dean sitting in the middle of the cafeteria next to none none other than his RA and another boy Cas didn’t recognize.

Cas sat down next to Dean and smiled at Charlie.

“Hey, Cas,” she said putting down her sandwich. “You settling in okay?”

“Yes, I am,” Cas said, picking his soy sauce packet and opening the corner. “Dean has been very helpful. I’m rather lucky to have an upperclassman as a roommate.”

“Damn right you are,” Dean said, taking a big bite of his cheeseburger. “Cas, this is Garth. He also lives on our floor and is one of my best friends. He’s a creative writing major.” Dean gestured towards the skinny guy sitting across from him eating what appeared to be meatloaf and mashed potatoes.

“Nice to meet you, Cas,” the brown-haired boy said. “Is that short for Casey or somethin’?”

“Uh, no. It’s short for my middle name, Castiel. My real name is James, but I’ve never gone by it,” Cas admitted shyly as he snapped open his chopsticks.

“Nah, you don’t exactly look like a Jim,” Garth said, taking another bite of buttery looking mashed potatoes.

“Thanks?” Cas said as he began to pluck at his rice and veggies. He’d gone with the shrimp, which took a little longer to cook, but after one bite he realized it was totally worth the wait. He let out a groan and he chewed.

“Wow,” Dean said with a smirk. “Pornagraphic, Cas.”

Cas blushed. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t expect the food here to be so… Good.”

“Best in the state,” Dean replied, popping a greasy looking fry in his mouth.

Cas nodded, continuing to eat his surprisingly good food.

“So, what’s your major, Cas?” Charlie asked.

“Pre-vet. I… I just really love animals.”

Charlie looked at Dean, excitement in her eyes. “Your brother would be excited to hear that,” she said and Dean huffed a laugh.

“Uh, no. He couldn’t do the dissections at school,” he said, shaking his head. “Went vegan shortly after freshman bio. Poor guy. Threw all hope of becoming a vet out the window.”

Cas smirked. “Yeah, that happens to a lot of kids. At least he went vegan for the right reasons, I suppose. So many people give up meat as some sort of fad, but your brother seems to be in it for the animals, which I respect.”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded, taking another bite of his burger. “He’s a hippie weirdo but he’s my hippie weirdo.”

Cas couldn’t help but look at the man beside him with fondness. He really seemed to care about his little brother, much as he tried to hide the affection.

“I’m a computer science major myself,” Charlie said, forking at the bits of her sandwich that fell out the back. “With a minor in digital media. If I don’t get an IT job somewhere I could always work as a social media rep or a web designer or something.”

“So, tell me about yourself, Cas,” Garth said, pushing his finished tray away and taking a long drag from his soda.

“Uh, there’s not much to tell really,” Cas muttered into his food. He didn’t exactly want to subject his new friends to his family drama just yet. “I’m just a kid from Pontiac.”

“I’m from Topeka,” Charlie said. “Dean’s also from Kansas, small town called Lebanon.”

“Originally from Lawrence, the city not the dorm, but my dad moved away after my mom died. Guess he couldn’t stand to live in the same house anymore, you know?” Dean shared.

Cas’s stomach felt suddenly queasy. “I am so sorry, Dean,” he said with genuine sympathy. His parents sucked, but at least they were still alive.

Dean shrugged as he polished off his fries. “No big deal. I was really little so…” the man trailed off, picking up his fork to start on the slice of apple pie he'd given in and gotten.

“From Lebanon as well,” Garth said. “Not a very big town, just about the only thing there is Singer’s Auto. I worked there in high school but always wanted something more. Got a full ride to Birchwood and never looked back.”

“Lucky geniuses here,” he said, gesturing to Garth and Charlie, “received academic scholarships. Charlie ain’t on a full ride, which is part of the reason she took up the RA job. I’m here for soccer,” the man explained.

Cas frowned down at his almost finished plate. “I didn’t receive a scholarship or anything like that. This was just one of many state schools I got accepted to. Fell in love with the campus after I took a tour. It really is very pretty here.”

Dean put his hand on his shoulder. “No need to feel embarrassed just because you aren’t here on scholarship, man. There’s no shame in paying your own way.”

Cas smiled softly before taking a sip of his tea. “Thank you, Dean,” he said after a moment.

* * *

**Dean:**

That evening, Dean tried to convince Cas to join him at Kevin’s apartment for a small get together, but after learning that there’d be alcohol there, the guy decided he was just gonna stay in and play some video games. Dean respected his decision, of course. He knew pre-med and pre-vet majors would get kicked out of their program if caught drinking under twenty-one and didn’t want Cas to do anything he felt uncomfortable with, especially his first week.

Kevin and Charlie were both juniors, whereas Dean and Garth were sophomores. Other than the four of them, the only other people at the ‘party’ were Channing, Kevin’s long-term girlfriend, and Gilda, Charlie’s new gf. They’d met in the RA program and had only been dating a month. They had to come in a few weeks early for training, which Dean did not envy them for. But, hey, at least they got paid.

Dean was a few beers in when Charlie sat down next to him on the couch.

“So… Your new roommate is cute,” said the lesbian.

“Didn’t know you swung that way, Bradburry,” Dean said with a chuckle, taking a sip of his beer. Thankfully, Channing was twenty-one now and could legally purchase alcohol for them all. Dean didn’t really trust the fake IDs Charlie made them all last year.

Charlie giggled. “Well, he’s cute for a guy,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows. She was the only one who knew Dean’s secret. 

“I guess,” Dean said, leaning back. He was  _ attempting  _ to pay attention the the episode of Rick and Morty they were all watching but the show was just a little too quick paced for how drunk he was getting. Not to mention everyone was talking over it.

“You gonna go for it?” she asked and Dean scoffed.

“Nah, we both know that boy’s probably straight. I’m tired of crushing on straight guys, for one,” he said as quietly as he could, so as not to have the rest of his friends overhear. “And even if he did go for other guys, he probably wouldn’t be okay with me having been with women. Very few gay men actually want to date a guy like me. And considering I’m still not out about it, that adds a whole new set of problems to potential relationships...”

Charlie looked at him with sympathy. “You don’t know that. Gilda’s bi, and I have no problems with it. The LGBT community is getting more and more inclusive each day, Dean. Bi visibility is becoming less and less of an issue because people like her are speaking out about it. You should come to a Prism meeting. It’ll help you come out of your shell.”

Charlie had been trying to get him to come to the campus LGBTQIA+ alliance, Prism, ever since his first semester.

Dean shook his head. “I’m not ready for that, Charles. Told you last time you asked.”

Charlie wrinkled her nose at the offending nickname. “You did, but I thought you might want to give a chance. It’s been a whole summer since I’ve asked.”

Dean took another sip of his beer. “I’ll think about it,” he promised.

* * *

Dean spent all of Sunday - after sleeping in and nursing his hangover of course - showing Cas around campus. He took him through all the important buildings, showing him the library, the science building, and all the eating areas. They even stopped for lunch at the Student Center he picked up some Jack in the Box, which they could get with their meal plan. Other than that, the student center had a salad bar and a Tropical Smoothie. Cas got himself a sandwich and a smoothie instead of a deep fried taco like Dean.

After that, Dean took him through the Quad, even showing him the free art museum. On their way out, they picked up a few posters a tent was selling, since Cas’s side of the room was rather vacant of art. Dean promised him he’d show him the ‘Villa’ on Friday. It was basically this place off campus with a shit ton of restaurants, stores, and bars. It was within walking distance to campus and was a major weekend hangout for most students. That, and Friday Nite Live, a cheesy ‘party’ put on by the student association each and every Friday. It was themed and offered a wide array of activities and crafts. It was mostly for freshman, but even upperclassmen stopped by before hitting the bars to get a slice of free pizza.

“Let me see your schedule,” Dean said, and Cas fumbled to pull it up on his phone. “Ugh, you got running at eight Monday, Wednesday, Friday?” he said, making a face at Cas’s choice of PE class. “I don’t have to take phys ed since I’m in a sport, thank god.”

Cas frowned at him. “I like running,” he said defensively. “I was on cross country in high school.”

Dean chuckled. “Yet another thing you have in common with my baby brother.”

Cas crossed his arms, looking like a petulant child. It was kinda cute if Dean was being completely honest. “Well, Sam sounds like a wonderful young man, if you ask me.”

Dean clapped him on the shoulder. “That he is,” he agreed.

* * *

**Cas:**

Cas found his way to the PE building next to the recplex at eight in the morning the following day. The air was damp and dewy and a bit muggy, as was common in late August. He walked into the building and found himself at an ancient indoor track, much more outdated than the track at the recplex Dean showed him yesterday.

A few other kids were seated at the bleachers so he sat down to join them until the instructor showed up. Since it was their first day they only went a mile, much to Cas’s disappointment. But at least they went outside to do it. They wouldn’t actually be using the indoor track unless the weather was bad.

After that he had an hour break, which he specifically scheduled so he could shower and eat breakfast, and then he had his first bio class at ten. At eleven he had French, and then at noon he’d scheduled lunch, which Dean teased him for since all the dining areas would be extra busy that hour. He called it ‘typically freshman.’ Cas was only slightly disappointed he wouldn’t be able to dine with Dean during the week. At one Cas had speech class, which met for lab Mondays and Wednesday and lecture on Fridays. And then Cas was done for the day. Dean’s last class was over at three so Cas went back to his room to wait for him, popping in Dragon Age Inquisition to pass the time. The first week was syllabus week, so he didn’t have any homework yet.

He and Dean went to the Globe, a cafeteria named after Shakespeare's theater, for dinner. It had a Taco Bell, Quiznos, and a Burger King as well as yet another salad station and more stir-fry. Cas got himself a sandwich while Dean ordered Taco Bell.

That evening, the two of them played Super Smash Bros with Charlie and Garth. It was probably the most fun Cas had ever had in his entire life. It wasn’t as if he had many friends growing up.

On Tuesdays he had his lab for French since it was a four day a week class, and his two Tuesday/Thursday classes, Theatre and Calc. With all the core classes he was required to take, he had a pretty full semester this year at nineteen credit hours (French was worth four).

That evening he, Dean, and Charlie ate at the most popular cafeteria on Campus, Westwood. It was the only all-girls dorm on Campus and hosted the campus sororities. It had a flat top grill for stir-fry instead of woks like the other eating places had as well as a full side brick oven for pizza, spinning salads instead of a salad bar, comfort food, pasta, and sandwiches. Once a week they did breakfast for dinner (although he was told that was always _packed_ ) and even had a mini-Starbucks. The only eating places he hadn't tried yet were a few grab-and go al-la-carte places, Lawrence's shitty cafeteria, and the buffett at Norman, which he was skeptical of because he found those to be germy.

Of course, the line for the stir-fry was long af, but Cas didn’t mind. It reminded him of hibachi, he way the chefs tossed his veggies and beef around on the stove. He even rewarded himself with a slice of chocolate cake, promising to go for an extra run that week to burn it off.

He and Dean hung out every single night, which was good because he knew it would be especially hard for him to live with someone he didn’t get along with. Thankfully, the pair of them got along great. It was Friday after class when Dean walked in. Cas paused his game to greet the man.

“How was class?” he asked, moving the controller to the floor.

“You know, first week stuff. No homework yet, so that’s good. Well, aside from reading chapter one of damn every textbook, but who the hell reads the chapters if they’re just gonna go over them in class?”

Cas frowned. “The books are so expensive. Seems like a waste not to read them.”

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “So, what, you gonna spend all weekend reading?”

“No,” Cas said, standing up to stretch. “I was planning on doing that Sunday afternoon since it won’t be that time consuming.”

“Okay, good,” Dean said, smiling shyly. He rubbed the back of his neck. “I… I was kinda hoping you’d come LARPING with us.”

To be continued...

* * *

 

Yeah, since Kevin and Channing are already supposed to be college age on the show, I felt no need pulling up pics of them, but here's a younger Gilda. The actress is 36 currently so I had to kinda search for a pic that might be from her early to mid twenties. I know she's blonde here, but lets pretend Gilda went through a phase.

And of course, wittle Garth. Did you know the actor used to model clothing? Well, now you know.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My campus had a LARP team of sorts so Birchwood will too. And yes, we could buy condoms with our *insert school mascot here* cash that we got with our meal plans. And the health center gave them out too. Safe sex, everyone.
> 
> Also, like Sam, I am vegan. I too wanted to be a vet but hid under the table as a wee high school freshman when we dissected frogs and cried when we did the fetal pigs. I also run and took running my freshman year as my PE class, as well as French. Just like Cas.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LARPing!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I play video games but, like Cas, have never played D&D, WOW, or LARPed. I am making this shit up based on what I know from games like Dragon Age (which is one of my favorite series of all time) and the Elder Scrolls (Oblivion is better than Skyrim. Fight me.)

**Chapter 3**

Take a chance, take your shoes off, dance in the rain.

-Panic! at the Disco, I Have Friends in Holy Spaces

* * *

**Cas:**

Cas squinted his eyes at his roommate. “What’s larking?” he asked, head tilted slightly and eyebrows knit together.

Dean barked out a laugh, bending over to clutch his stomach. “ _ LARPING,”  _ he clarified. “It stands for live action role playing. It’s not a Shakespearean bird, you loon.”

“Larks are real birds, Dean,” Cas said, smirk forming on his lips. “What does live action role playing intail?”

“Uh, basically it’s like an RPG in real life. You run around with foam swords or beanbags for magic and just… role play. It’s fun,” Dean said with a casual smile.

“Who’s all gonna be there?” Cas asked. It wasn’t as if he were shy or anything. It just took him a while to warm up to new people and crowds freaked him out a little bit.

“Uh, Charlie, of course,” Dean said, scratching the stubble forming on his chin as he tried to remember who all was coming. “And Gilda, probably. Kevin and Channing, Garth, and a few others. Not too many people but we need the numbers in order to be a university recognized club, you know.”

Cas nodded. “Yeah. Sounds fun. Will I have to buy anything or will stuff be provided?”

Dean shook his head. “No, we’ve got a few extra supplies for newcomers but if you come to more than two games you have to purchase your own and pay the five dollar club fee.”

“Sounds reasonable. What class are you?” Cas asked, curious. He’d played several RPGs before so he was familiar with how they worked… mostly. It wasn’t as if he’d played D&D or WOW. Just stuff like Dragon Age and Skyrim.

“I’m a warrior so I’m DPS. But you have your orcs who are the tanks, mages can be DPS or healers depending. You also have rogues which can specialize in archery or short range weapons like daggers or whatnot,” he explained and Cas nodded again. He figured it would be something like that.

“Great,” Dean said, opening his wardrobe and pulling out a foam longsword.

Cas chuckled. “Where did you get that? Narnia?” he asked, not able to hide his amusement.

“Nah,” Dean said with a shrug. “Just kinda a closeted nerd.”

“Well, in my opinion, closets are for clothes. You should always be open about who you are. Why hide it?” He recognized the hypocrisy in what he was saying of course. If only he could just practice what he preached. But it was easier said than done. Especially with his upbringing.

“Well, the game’s tonight at sundown,” Dean said, pulling some costume chainmail from the closet as well. “What do you usually play as? You’re a mage in Dragon Age, right?”

“Elf mage. But I don’t have a costume. Or ears…” Cas said with a frown.

“And they haven’t put up any of those Halloween Express stores yet… We could always try Goodwill. I’m sure you could turn some ugly dress into a mage’s robes. And Charlie actually has Hogwarts robes you could wear inside-out to hide the school insignia,” Dean said, looking him up and down. “They might be a little short and maybe a little tight in the arms, but I’m sure they’ll fit. They’re kinda loose on her.”

“Not all mages wear robes you know? Dorian in Dragon Age kinda just wears a tunic with leather and gauntlets underneath.”

Dean nodded. “And thigh highs,” he said with a chuckle. “And a wicked-ass curly mustache.”

“They aren’t thigh highs,” Cas corrected. “Probably just knee highs with leather pants.”

“And he forgot a sleeve, because he’s an ‘edgy Tevinter,’” Dean said, still chuckling.

Cas snorted. “I thought he was just doing that to be sexy,” he said and Dean barked out another laugh.

“Yeah, well, you can be whatever kind of mage you want. I, myself, go for the knight in shining armor look,” Dean said with a wink.

Cas tried not to read too much into it. He knew they were just playing around. He wasn’t ready to get his heart broken again.

* * *

Half an hour and one city bus later, Cas and Dean were walking through Goodwill, looking through the dresses in the women’s section.

“You’ll probably need a large or an XL since most women aren’t as… built as you are,” Dean said, looking through the appropriate sizes.

Cas nodded. “Most women also aren’t six foot,” he said, knowing he’d probably fit an XL better and going straight to that section. He tried not to think too hard about the fact Dean called him built. It was just an observation. Nothing more.

“What about this?” Dean asked, holding up a white tunic style dress with cut-out sleeves.

Cas observed the dress, picturing wearing black jeans and boots with it. It would be a bit like what Dorian wore. Enough to make it work anyway.

“That could work if I put a belt around the waist and chest…” Cas mused.

“And Charlie has black arm-warmers you could wear as gauntlets. It’s not perfect but…”

“It’ll do,” Cas said, grabbing the garment and making his way towards the dressing rooms.

In front of the mirror, Cas stripped off his tee shirt and slipped on the dress. Other than his collar bones showing, it seemed to work pretty well. Maybe he could wear a scarf with it to make it more ‘magie.’ Afterall, he wasn’t supposed to  _ be  _ Dorian. He was just Dorian inspired. He could even draw on a goatee using eyeliner to set him apart from the character.

* * *

Back at Birchwood, Dean and Cas went to Charlie’s room to bum the arm warmers and some eyeliner off of her. She was  _ so  _ excited Cas was joining them tonight, she gladly gave over the supplies, telling him he could keep them for future cosplays if he’d like.

“Are you sure?” Cas asked, looking down at the black pencil and bit of fabric in his hands.

Charlie nodded. “Oh yeah. I have  _ way  _ too many sticks of eyeliner because my parents always give me makeup as stocking stuffers. And I’ve only worn the arm warmers once. They’re a little too emo for my tastes,” she said, cringing slightly.

Dean laughed. “I always seem to get car accessories in my stocking,” he said, shaking his head. “I have this huge collection of air fresheners and no car to put them in.”

Cas smiled fondly, remembering Christmases past. “I would always get more candy than one person could eat and my dad would end up stealing most of it even though I hid it under my bed.”

“Parents…” Charlie said, shaking her head and Cas tried not to be saddened by the memories.

“Parents,” he said in agreement.

* * *

After eating breakfast for dinner at Westwood (and yes, it was just as packed as Dean said it would be) the three of them made their way out to the Quad.

“Dean!” a small-framed blonde girl shouted and ran up to him, throwing her arms around his shoulders. He picked her up and spun her around.

“Missed you kiddo,” he said into her hair before setting her down.

“Jo,” he said, addressing the girl. “This is Cas, my roommate. Cas, this is Jo. She’s Bobby’s daughter and a freshman in Honors College. She has an on-campus job so she got to come up a week earlier, but unfortunately has been _just too busy_ to stop by and see me.” He ruffled her hair and she slapped away his hand.

“Bobby who owns the auto shop?” Cas asked.

Jo nodded. “Yup. That’s my daddy. Grew up around cars my whole life but what I really want to do is teach. Well… and coach. I’m on the volleyball team here.”

Cas’s eyes bugged out of his head. “You’re in Honors College, have a job,  _ and  _ are in a sport? That’s a lot.”

Jo shrugged. “It’s not that bad. I tested out of a lot of the required classes and have a couple of semesters of college credit under my belt so I’m only taking twelve credit hours.”

“Tell him what you wanna teach,” Dean said, sounding rather proud of her.

“Physics,” Jo answered, a bit shyly. “I’ve always been drawn to the sciences, you know?”

Dean put his arm around her, pulling the girl to his side. He kissed her on the top of the head.

Cas felt like he was going to be sick. It didn’t come as a surprise that Dean had a girlfriend. He just wasn’t prepared for how bad it would feel. It had only been a week but he was falling for the man. Hard.

* * *

**Dean:**

Dean couldn’t be more proud of Jo. He kissed the top of her head and smiled down at her, her eyes shining back up at him. He knew the girl had a crush on him and that she had since they were children. They had always been really close and were open with their affections. But for all the heart eyes she made at him, he had only ever thought of her as a sister. It’s not as if he’d never told her that either. He figured she was just holding out until the day he changed his mind. Which was never ever going to happen. It wasn’t that Dean didn’t find her attractive. She was  _ very  _ cute. It was just that it would be so… weird. They’d known each other since daycare.

“Hey, Dean,” Max said, approaching with a small wave, his twin sister Alicia right behind him.

Max on the other hand… He’d met the dark skinned boy in freshman biology and had been harboring a crush ever since.

“Hey!” Dean said, letting go of Jo to hug each of the twins. “How are your moms?”

“Oh, you know. They’re cops so they never get a day off together but are disgustingly hopelessly in love,” Max said as he fake gagged. “It’s sickening.”

Max and Alicia were adopted, their parents dying in a car crash when they were very young. Sheriffs Jody and Donna had taken them in when they were in grade school.

“Hey!” Alicia said, suddenly remembering something. “Max and I are going to a drag show tomorrow. Wanna come?”

“Is it a Prism thing?”

Max nodded. “Yep.” He turned to Charlie. “Didn’t see you at the first meeting, Charles.”

“Been busy with RA stuff,” Charlie told him.

“And gaming,” Max said with a laugh.

“And gaming,” Charlie repeated sheepishly.

“Oh, love the outfit,” Max said, finally noticing Cas.

His friend suddenly looked shy. “Thanks. We, uh, got it at Goodwill actually.”

“Nice,” Max said with a nod. “Hey, Dean, come meet the rest of the gang.” He ushered them towards where Gilda, Kevin, Channing, and Garth were chatting with two brunette girls. As soon as Charlie approached, Gilda was immediately at her side. “Guys, this is Annie and Krissy.”

“Alex,” the one brunette corrected.

“They’re both freshman in the prospect teaching program,” Jo said.

“Prospect?” Cas asked, doing that cute head-tilt thing he always did.

Jo nodded. “Yeah, they don’t accept you into the teacher’s college until your junior year. You have to take a test and everything.”

“But you can take the test sooner than that since you have so many credits built up?” Dean asked, putting his arm around her again.

“Maybe. I’d have to ask my counselor,” Jo admitted.

Dean nodded. “Maybe you can get your program counselor early,” he suggested. Freshman had a different guidance counselor their first year as a ‘general counselor’ and after that they got a counselor in their majors.

“Enough yacking!” Charlie said with command. “As your queen, I demand no talk of the outside world once one’s feet step into Moondoor.”

“Moondoor?” Cas asked, looking adorably confused.

“The Quad,” Dean whispered with a chuckle. “It’s what we call the kingdom the game takes place in.”

Cas nodded, suddenly looking serious.

“Now then,” Charlie said, clapping her hand behind her back and walking in a royal fashion. “I want each of you to split up into two teams. You will have fifteen minutes to strategize before the game begins.”

Cas stood back while the group formed into two teams.

“Wanna be on my team, Cas?” Dean asked.

“Sure,” the dark-haired man nodded. “Who else is on our team.”

“Team Badass is you, me, Max, Jo, and Krissy,” Dean said with a smirk. “And Team Loser over there is Garth, Alex, Kevin, Channing, and Gilda.”

“Charlie isn't playing?” Cas asked, a look of confusion on his face.

Dean shook his head, chuckling softly. “Nah, she is. She just floats around to wherever she's needed. Keeps things interesting,” he said with a smirk.

“Alright good people of Moondoor,” Charlie said, approaching the front of the group once again. “What be your team names?”

“Team Badass!” Dean shouted, earning a ripple of laughter from both teams.

“Acceptable,” Charlie said. “And your team?” she asked the second group.

“Team Ass-Kickers!” Garth shouted, putting out his palm to be high fived by Kevin.

Charlie chuckled and shook her head. She instructed each team to go over their teams plan of attack. After fifteen minutes she addressed the whole group again.

She cleared her throat several times and everyone stopped talking. “Let the game commence!” she shouted and Dean let off a battle-cry.

* * *

**Cas:**

LARPing turned out to be complete and utter chaos with people attacking one another with foam weapons, firing fake arrows, and throwing bean bags from a pouch around their waists and shouting spells like “incinerate!” and “immobilize!” at one another. In the end, Team Badass won.

Cas was so tired, he fell asleep that night the minute his head hit the pillow. The next morning he was sore, but a good sore, the kind of ache he felt after an extra long run.

He ate breakfast with Dean and Garth (nobody else was awake) and spent the late morning into the afternoon watching Stranger Things on Netflix with them. 

The entire LARPing team met for dinner at seven at the Student Center. Cas had never belonged to a group before. It felt nice.

After dinner, he was invited to go with them to see a drag show but he politely declined. He had no issues with drag or even transgender people. He just wasn’t ready to go to an event like that.

On Sunday he went out to the Quad to read his chapters while Dean and Jo were at the recplex lifting weights. Soccer practice stared that week and Dean wanted to make sure he was at least in some sort of shape before the season began.

Every day that week, at five pm sharp, Cas went to the soccer field to watch Dean practice. Sometimes Jo, Charlie, or Garth would join him, but on Thursday he was alone watching the brilliant man he was falling more and more for each and every day wipe the field with the rest of his teammates. It was no wonder the guy was there on an athletic scholarship.

As a midfielder, it suddenly became obvious how Dean stayed in shape despite his, admittedly, horrible eating habits. He glided across the pitch like it was made of ice. Cas knew nothing about sports but he knew he was one impressive specimen, that was for sure.

After practice, they would always grab a bite to eat. Sometimes they were alone, other times, one of their friends joined. Oftentimes, it was Jo. Cas tried not to get jealous every time the two of them casually touched. He knew going into this that Dean probably didn’t go for men, and even if he did, clearly he and Jo were devoted to one another and Cas  _ did not _ intend to be a homewrecker.

* * *

**Dean:**

It was after practice on Friday night and Dean was  _ beat _ , even after the amazing waffles he’d just had at Westwood. If he was being honest with himself, the carbs were probably making him even  _ more  _ sleepy. Thank goodness Cas just wanted a simple night in playing video games. Dean could be down with that. Maybe Charlie or Garth would join them later.

After kicking off his cleats, he bent over to peel of his socks and shin guards and threw them in the corner of the room where his laundry bin was.

Cas wrinkled his nose as he put the game into his XBox 360. He’d been playing Dragon Age Inquisition on PS4 and this was the first time he’d booted the 360 up since he’d been rooming with Dean.

“You should have brought some of those car air fresheners with you, hang them by your stinky laundry.”

Dean chuckled and went over to retrieve his shin guards. “You’re no spring rose after a jog,” he told Cas before throwing the rancid object at him.

Cas ducked to avoid it. “Watch it,” he said, pointing a finger at him with false seriousness. “I  _ will  _ tell Charlie on you.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?” Dean asked, lifting up the other shin guard as if he was going to throw it.

“Do you want to watch me play Mass Effect or not?” Cas asked, sitting down on his banana chair and raising an eyebrow at Dean. 

Dean rolled his eyes and took a seat next to Cas in his own gaming chair. He was more of a PC gamer himself and was glad Cas had brought along a television and a couple of consoles. Not knowing where to put them, the tv was sitting stacked on top of the mini fridge/microwave combo Dean rented and the consoles were stacked on top of the empty plastic milk crates Dean had packed his stuff in. It wasn’t pretty but it worked.

“Okay, what’s this game about?” Dean asked as the start menu loaded.

Cas pressed start and began creating his character.

“Uh, it’s a decision making sci-fi RPG. It has a bit of a Star Trek influence and is story based. There are more lines of dialogue than your average tv show. So, the gameplay is kinda… lacking, but it got a lot better by games two and three. Your decisions carry over from game to game as well as the friendships and romantic relationships.”

“Romantic relationships?”

“Yeah, you can sleep with members of your crew.”

“How very Kirk of you,” Dean observed with a chuckle.

Cas nodded as he focused on getting his character _ just right _ . “Yeah, they actually had a limited edition Mass Effect Cards Against Humanity pack. One of the cards was ‘fuckable aliens.’”

Dean snorted. “So, like blue chicks or something?”

“There are those,” Cas said as he chose his characters background and class. “But there’s also a few other human and alien options. More so in games two and three.”

“So, who can you fuck this game?”

“Well, since there’s no gay romance option in ME1 or I usually go for Liara - your typical hot blue alien chick - and then kind just roll the dice in Two,” he said with a chuckle. “But I’m pretty much just holding out for Kaiden in Three. Sometimes I’ll go for Cortez but-”

“Wait,” Dean said, swallowing hard. “You’re gay?”

“Um... “ Cas looked nervous. “My Commander Shepard is for sure.”

“No,” Dean shook his head, standing up quickly. “Are  _ you?” _

Cas looked down at his controller. He was still in character creation mode. “You went to a drag show. You’re friends with Charlie and Max… I didn’t think you’d have an issue with-”

Dean shook his head. No, if Cas were gay that would change everything. “It’s a yes or no question, Cas.”

Dean wasn’t sure why he was freaking out so much about this. Hell, he identified as bisexual so it wasn’t a homophobic response. But, nonetheless, the knowledge that Cas might be into him made him uneasy. Maybe it was because he was still so fixated on Max?

“You’re not forcing me out of the closet, Dean,” Cas said, looking up at him with fire in his eyes. “I don’t get what your issue is but-”

“Hey,” Dean said, kneeling down and putting his hand on the other man’s shoulder before he decided to smite him or something. “I’m just… going through my own shit. It has nothing to do with you.”

“So you don’t have an issue if I’m-”

“Not at all!” Dean said, squeezing his shoulder and looking him dead in the eyes. Those deep blue beautiful eyes. “I… It just came as a surprise, that’s all. I’m  _ totally  _ cool with it.” He shot him a charming smile. “I’m sorry, okay?”

“Okay…” Cas said tentatively before turning back to the tv.

To be continued...

* * *

For those who haven't been graced by the game Dragon Age Inquisition, this is Dorian. Cas's costume wouldn't really look like this, like at all, but I figured it was the best he could do in a short amount of time without any sewing skills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of this is based on real life experiences. I ALWAYS get makeup in my stockings and can never use it all up simply because it's way too much. I have more lipgloss than one person could ever wear. My boyfriend gets car supplies like window wipes and air fresheners. In high school, his dad would steal all his Christmas candy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Halloween!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm using songs from my destiel playlist on Spotify for some of these chapters. (Yes you read that right and yes I listen to it almost daily...)
> 
> If you own any pictures and like them to be taken down, just let me know.

**Chapter 4**

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing and

Stars are falling all for us

Days grow longer and nights grow shorter

I can show you I'll be the one

-Your Guardian Angel, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

* * *

**Cas:**

Cas wasn’t sure why Dean had freaked out on him exactly, but his roommate hadn’t done it since, so Cas believed him when he said it wasn’t because he was gay.

He decided, after being unintentionally shoved out of the closet, that he was pretty comfortable coming out to all his friends. They met at Moondoor twice a month and Cas figured the next game would be as good a time as any to tell all of them.

“Uh,” Cas said nervously before approaching the group. “Before we start… I kinda needed to say something.”

“Sure thing, Cas,” Charlie said, giving him a warm smile.

Cas swallowed, hard. _You can do this,_ he told himself before taking a deep breath.

“I’mgay,” he said quickly. Suddenly shy, he looked down at his boots, blush coloring his face. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

“Welcome to the club!” Max shouted and a few people woo’d and clapped. Cas immediately relaxed. He let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.

Charlie hugged him and whispered, “Thank you for sharing that with us,” before he returned to Team Badass and stood beside Dean.

His roomate clapped him on the shoulder. “Proud of you, man,” he told him and Cas couldn’t help but smile. He'd chosen some pretty good friends.

* * *

On Monday, September 18th, Dean came barreling into their room after class.

“Why didn’t you tell me today was your birthday?” he demanded, throwing his backpack on his bed.

Cas shrugged, pausing his game. “I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

“You know what this means right?” he asked and Cas shrugged.

“It means you’ll be twenty-one basically _all_ of your junior year!” he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I have to wait till January!”

“So?”

“So? So?” Dean said, throwing up his hands with a huff. “You summer and fall birthdays will never understand…” He shook his head and sat down on his bed. “Dude, missing the cut-off in kindergarden or whatever has finally paid off!” he all-but shouted and Cas shrugged, still not quite getting what Dean was trying to explain to him. “You’ll be able to go to the bars with me my senior year, man!”

Cas searched his eyes before asking, “You want to be my friend that long?”

“Will I want to be- Of course I will!” Dean said, kicking off his boots.

“I’m sorry it’s just that… I’ve never really had friends,” Cas admitted, wringing his hands together.

Dean stopped and looked at him, one sock in his hand, one sock still on his foot. “What?” he asked, after a moment.

Cas was suddenly embarrassed. Of course someone who had as many friends as Dean would be taken aback by that sort of news. He probably thought it was extremely unusual, like there was something wrong with Cas. Maybe he would even change his mind about wanting to be his friend.

“I-it’s just that, well, my parents… I-I never really was allowed to… um, hang out with anyone and… I know it’s weird for someone to come out and say they never had any friends and I would _totally_ understand if you didn’t want to hang out with me-”

“What!” Dean yelped, standing up. “How could you even think that?”

“Well, it’s just… I thought...” Cas stammered.

Dean shook his head. “No, you know what?” he asked, sitting back down on the bed and putting his sock back on. “Fuck practice. You and me? We’re going out. How does Dave & Buster’s sound? I know we can’t exactly drink or anything but their food is pretty good. My treat.” Dean gave him a charming smile as he slipped back into his boots.

“That’s an arcade right?” Cas asked, swearing he’d heard the name someplace.

“Yeah, it’s pretty expensive but really fun and totally worth it. We could invite the Moondoor group… I’m surprised you and your brother don't have any plans for your birthday.”

Cas looked down sheepishly. “He asked but I told him I already had plans. I didn’t want him to close the shop early on my account.”

“He owns a candy store, right?” Dean asked as he laced back up his boot.

“Yeah, it’s pretty high-traffic on the weekends. That’s when he gets the most business,” Cas said, still not making a move to get out of his gaming chair. “Look, Dean, I appreciate the thought but you don’t have to take me to Dave & Buster’s.”

Boots laced, Dean stood up and grabbed his leather jacket from his wardrobe. “We can always do something else if you don’t want to do an arcade. I just figured, you know…” he said, gesturing towards the television where Fallout 4 was currently paused.

“No, I like archades. I used to go with Gabe. He’s the one that got me into gaming… But that’s not what I meant.”

“If it’s about the money, Cas, I got that covered. I saved up a bit this summer working at Bobby’s.”

Cas sighed. “I can’t have you spend money on me _and_ miss practice,” he said, turning the controller over in his hands.

“Hey,” Dean said, holding out his hand to help Cas up. “It’s no problem okay?”

With another sigh, Cas put the controller down and grabbed Dean’s offered hand. His roomate pulled him to his feet and suddenly they were eye to eye. Blue eyes met green and for a moment both stared, neither pulling away. Dean cleared his throat, breaking the trance and Cas let go of his hand, putting some space between them.

“Okay,” Cas said, finally relenting. “If you insist.”

“I do,” Dean said, grinning. “This’ll be the best nineteenth birthday you’ve ever had!”

Cas rolled his eyes, retrieving a jacket from his own wardrobe. He chose his tan trench coat instead of the leather one Gabe had gotten him. It was slightly large on him but it was his favorite for whatever reason. “It’ll be the only nineteenth birthday I’ll ever have,” he corrected, slipping the coat over his shoulders.

“Semantics,” Dean said with a chuckle.

* * *

**Dean:**

They were seated at a table near the bar when Dean received the text from Charlie. He refrained from slamming his phone down on the table in frustration. _Come on, Charles! He needed a buffer!_

“Charlie can’t come either,” he growled. “Looks like it’s just you and me.”

Cas looked down at the table and Dean immediately knew he’d said the wrong thing. “I’m sorry, Dean,” he said into their shared plate of pull-apart pepperoni pretzels.

“For what?”

“I’m sorry you're stuck with me all night,” Cas said, looking up at him bashfully.

“Nah, man,” Dean said, picking off another piece of pretzel. “I like hanging out with you.”

Before Cas could say anything in response, their waitress returned. “You boys ready to order?”

Dean gestured for Cas to go first. “Yes,” Cas said, looking back down at his menu. “I’ll have the chicken parmesan alfredo, please.”

The waitress wrote something down onto her notepad. “And you, hun?”

Dean pointed to the item he wanted, finger pressed against the glossy picture of the glorious looking burger. “Can I have the BBBacon Burger?” he asked, stuttering out the Bs. _What? That’s how it was written! He can’t have been the first person to do that!_

Their waitress chuckled. “Sure thing,” she said, writing down his order. “Anything else?”

Both Dean and Cas shook their heads, mumbling no thank yous and the waitress made her way back to the kitchen, telling them their order would be out as soon as possible.

“Why’d you say it like that?” Cas asked him as soon as she left.

“That’s how it was written!” Dean said defensively. He took a sip of his Coke.

“Uh huh. Sure,” Cas said, taking a sip of his lemonade. “I’m sure it had nothing to do with making our waitress laugh.”

Dean frowned. Sure, their waitress was an attractive dark-skinned girl in her mid to late twenties, but he was only concerned with making one person laugh tonight.

“Or maybe I just wanted to make sure she got my order right,” Dean suggested. “You know, saying the menu items exactly as they’re written. Less room for error that way.”

Cas chuckled. “Suuure.”

“And, you know it’s gonna be good too. Because it has three Bs,” Dean said, pinching off another piece of appetizer.

“I’ll take your word for it,” Cas said, stirring his lemonade with his straw.

Not even five minutes later, their waitress came back with their food. She moved the half eaten appetizer to the side to make room for the entrees.

“That was quick!” Dean said when she placed his burger down in front of him. He immediately took a bite and groaned around a mouthful, earning yet another laugh form the African American woman. Looking over at Cas, Dean noticed the other man frown a little and look away. Shit! He had to fix the situation fast! He didn’t want to totally snub his roomate _on his fucking birthday!_

Cas looked back over at Dean when his plate was sat down in front of him and Dean smiled at him, earning a small smile in return. They both thanked their waitress and she left to go help other guests. Since it was a Monday night, however, the place wasn’t very packed. Satisfied that he and Cas were okay, Dean returned to his food.

When Cas took a bite of his pasta, he made the slightly orgasmic sounds he always made whenever he ate really good food. “Wow,” he said, swallowing. “This is _really_ good. Didn’t expect that from an arcade.”

Dean looked up from his fries at the man sitting across from him. It was just the two of them. There were supposed to be other people here. At the two-seater table they were currently sitting at, it almost kinda sorta felt like, well, a date.

“I’ve heard the drinks are really good but _expensive,”_ Dean said conversationally. He took another big bite of his bacony burger. “This is too good,” he said around a mouthful. “Sammy’d never approve… I know they have a grilled portobello and veggie sandwich. If he were here, he’d probably get that instead of a salad. He only orders those at, like, diners and shit where they don’t have another vegetarian option. He’d probably order a side salad but he’d bum a few fries off me anyway.” Dean chuckled and popped a few in his mouth.

“It’s sweet you’re looking out for him even though he isn’t here,” Cas said, looking at him with a bashful smile Dean couldn't quite decipher. “Though, I thought you said he was vegan, not vegetarian.”

Dean nodded. “He is. He just takes the cheese off,” he said with a shrug.

“I see,” Cas said, twirling more cheesy pasta onto his fork. “Well, to Sam,” he said, lifting his fork in mock solute.

“To Sam,” Dean agreed, raising his burger. “May the hippie freak live forever.”

* * *

Cas only ate about half his pasta, claiming that the appetizer filled him up too much. He mentioned not wanting to waste the rest, but also not wanting to lug a to-go box around the arcade.

“I can carry it for you,” Dean suggested.

Cas shook his head. “Dean, I’m not going to have you carry my food around with you just because I’m feeling lazy.”

“It’s your birthday,” Dean said with a shrug. “You shouldn’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how birthdays work,” Cas said skeptically.

“Well, it’s your party and you’ll cry if you want to,” Dean quoted.

Cas snorted. “Way to quote a song that’s over fifty years old.”

“Hey,” Dean said, pointing his finger at Cas. “Don’t diss old music. Besides, I was quoting the Amy Winehouse version. That’s only, what, seven years old?”

Cas chuckled again, shaking his head. “I’m kinda concerned you know that, one. And two, maybe she should have partied a little less, don’t you think?”

“Don’t disrespect the dead,” Dean scholded, polishing off his drink and standing up. “And don't shame me for liking a wide variety of music. What am I supposed to do? Pretend to like one genre and one genre only just to keep up the allusion I’m some sort of cool macho dude?”

Cas stood up too. “Hey,” he said, raising his hands in defense. “As long as you don’t like Taylor Swift or something-”

“Don’t disrespect T-Swift. Shake It Off is my jam! Junior year in high school, man. I rocked that shit at prom.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Whatever. We gonna play some games or what?”

“Hell yeah we are! Time Crisis, newest version, you get to play the girl.”

“I would be honored to play a kick-ass female protagonist,” Cas said, making his way towards the arcade area. “You are so on, Winchester!”

* * *

After kicking his ass at Time Crisis, Cas suggested they play the Jurassic Park game.

“You don’t understand, Cas,” Dean said, getting into the Jeep. “My high score on this thing is _insane._ I’ve been playing it at every arcade since I was a kid.”

“We’ll see about that,” Cas said, swiping his card.

Dean swiped his own game card. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Novak.”

It turned out, the sensors on the 90s era game were absolute shit. Neither boy could shoot straight and they game overed pretty quickly.

“Well, that was a waste of money,” Cas said as he stepped out of the machine.

“Maybe we should go back a couple decades and play a retro game we know works?” Dean suggested.

“What do you have in mind?”

Dean shot Cas a smirk. “Oh, just the arcade classic known as skee ball.”

“I’m not very good at that,” Cas admitted with a frown.

“Well, I’m a master, taught by the best,” Dean bragged.

“Yeah?” Cas asked, as they made their way towards the machines, he pulled out his phone and began typing something into it. Dean only got slightly jealous at the thought he could be texting someone else.

“Yup. My dad was something of an arcade master in the 90s. Taught me everything I know,” Dean said, swiping his card and picking up a ball.

“Skee ball was invented in 1909, so… way more than a couple of decades before Jurassic Park,” Cas said, poketing his phone.

Dean felt confusing relief that his roommate was Googling the game like a nerd rather than texting someone. He wasn't sure why the idea bothered him so much in the first place. It wasn't like he had a crush on him or anything. It wasn't like he was Max.

“You would look that up,” Dean said with a snort. He threw his first ball, landing perfectly in the middle circle. He looked over at Cas who seemed impressed. “I’m gonna win you a prize,” he said before landing another perfect throw.

In the end, Dean wracked up a sufficient amount of tickets, which he loaded onto his game card. They played a few more rounds of games including the ever-awesome Terminator game with the heavy as fuck guns and four player Pacman with two strangers, girls who looked around their age. They learned the girls were named Patience and Kaia and they were both attending a local community college. They played a few rounds with them before the girls had to leave.

When both their game cards were out of ‘tokens’ they made their way to to the Winner’s Circle area to cash out Dean’s skee ball tickets. He had just enough for a large plushie.

“Pick something out, Cas,” Dean said, pointing him in the direction of the wall-o stuffed animals.

“Really? You want me to get a giant plush cartoon character like we’re in some bullshit teen romance movie?” Cas asked, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrow at Dean as if issuing some sort of challenge.

Dean’s throat went dry. “Yeah? It’s your birthday, man. It doesn’t have to be anything weird.”

“Fine,” Cas said, appraising the toys on the wall. “I want the Pikachu.”

Dean waived the attendant over to get the giant plush toy down with one of those plastic hooks.

The attendant handed the extra large Pikachu to Cas. Honestly, it was probably bigger than an _actual_ Pikachu would be.

By the time they were ready to leave the arcade, it was close to midnight. The busses were no longer running and they had to get an Uber. Well, there went half of Dean’s spending money for the semester, he thought as he, Pikachu, and Cas squeezed into the backseat. Looking over at his roommate, he realized it was worth it. Cas was worth it.

* * *

**Cas:**

The day after he and Dean went to Dave & Busters, Cas was tired to say the least. They didn’t get back to their dorm until almost one in morning, but rather than going to bed, he and Dean stayed up late watching old episodes of Pokemon on Netflix. So when he got up for his seven AM jog before his nine AM French class, he was pretty beat having only gotten a little under four hours of sleep. When his alarm blared that morning, Dean called him crazy and told him to just skip the jog and sleep in, but if he did that he’d feel, well, _off_ the whole day. No, jogging was essential to make Cas feel like Cas. So, off he went into the brisk September morning. The air at least felt fresh on his lungs. Come wintertime, however, he’d have to start jogging inside. His phys ed class would be using the indoor track soon as well. He stifled a yawn as he stretched and though he could maybe take a nap between his French lab and Theatre, which didn’t start till eleven. At least he only had three classes that day, with Calc II ending at two o’clock.

The rest of the week passed pretty normally, with Dean going to every practice, even getting up to run with Cas on Thursday. Without French lab, Cas could sleep in till nine, and since most of Dean’s classes were late morning / afternoon classes, and because he missed a day of practice, a nice run before the big game tomorrow would do him some good.

Of course, he complained the whole time.

That Friday, the soccer stands were a sea of purple, fans of the sport gathered there to show some school spirit for the first game of the year. Cas, not normally a sports person, was sandwiched between Charlie and Garth, cheering Dean on as he gracefully made his way down the field. Birchwood kicked Noter Dame’s ass of course, the bulldogs scoring twice as many goals as the Leprechauns. Who the hell thought that Leprechauns would make a good school mascot anyway? Cas thought with a small chuckle.

The next home game would be in two weeks against Duke, and after that, the team would be off to Stanford for an away game. Apparently Birchwood was in division one, whatever that meant, and competed against schools all around the country. Cas was rather proud of his roomate, even if that meant he’d have to spend a weekend away from him. At least it didn’t fall on a LARP weekend.

Thankfully, the weekend after the Stanford game was Halloween. A few weeks prior, he and Dean had went to Halloween Express to pick up some wings to complete Cas’s Constantine costume. Since Cas already had the shirt, tie, and trench coat, Dean thought the character would be cheap, easy, and pretty impressive to those in the know of the comic series.

In the store, Cas selected a pair of black wings.

“You know, Constantine can just perceive angels. He’s not actually an angel himself,” Cas said, as he ran his fingers along the feathers.

“Says you,” Dean argued. “I think that’s exactly why he can see angels and demons. If he wasn’t a half-breed himself, why would he have those special abilities? He’s a nep-whatever.”

“A nephilim,” Cas corrected. “And that’s just a fan theory.”

“Whatever. We can be our own characters,” Dean said, selecting a serrated rubber knife. “You can be an angel who’s fallen from Heaven to stand with humanity. And I can be your handsome demon-slaying friend.”

“You know,” Cas said, smiling shyly. “That’s kind of appropriate, me falling from Heaven, given who my family is… And the fact that you’ve helped me ‘slay my demons’ in a way... It fits.”

Dean turned to look at him. “You’ve never really talked about what happened with them…” he said, his tone sympathetic as if he was curious but didn’t want to push. Cas appreciated that. “You only ever mentioned not having much contact with them anymore. Did they… Did they kick you out or something?”

Cas sighed. “I don’t really want to get into this right now,” he said. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Dean. It was just that he wanted to keep his family drama out of his new life. He’d already said too much in passing already, or rather, not enough about his parents that Dean started to become suspicious. Only mentioning Gabe all the time instead of a father or mother must’ve tipped his roomate off.

“It’s cool,” Dean said with a shrug. “I get it. You don’t have to open up about anything you’re uncomfortable with… I’m glad I could help though.” Dean smiled at him and the pressure in Cas’s chest immediately melted away. Dean would never judge him.

“Thank you, Dean,” he said as the two of them made their way to the registers to pay for their purchases. His chest felt light and he and Dean exchanged small smiles. He was falling more and more for his roommate each and every day. And that wasn't a good thing.

* * *

It was Friday, the 27th of October and Cas was tying the plain blue tie for his not-Constantine costume. Dean was dressed in his usual flannel, jeans, and work boots.

“Why aren’t you in costume?” Cas asked him as he slipped on his tan overcoat.

Dean looked down at himself, pointing to the toy blade sticking out of his pocket that he’d drawn symbols on with a silver sharpie. He’d even gone so far as to use a bit of brown paint he’d bought from the art store in the Villa to age the hilt.

“I _am_ in costume,” he argued, earning an eye roll form Cas. “What? I figured as Buffy-esqu monster hunter I’d pretty much wear what I always wear.”

“Uh huh,” Cas said as he adjusted his angel wings. “You know, in X-Files they just wear suits.”

“I’m not X-Files,” Dean argued. “I’m X-Files _inspired.”_

“Whatever you say, Dean,” he said, making sure his keys, wallet, and phone were all in his pocket before they headed out to the haunted corn maze. The nearest outdoor Halloween event (complete with haunted corn made and hayride) was about a forty-five minute drive out of Chicago. Kevin and Channing offered to drive the entire LARPing group to the event, so long as they all pitched in for gas money.

Truth be told, this was Castiel’s first Halloween. His family had previously forbidden the holiday claiming it was ‘satanic’ and ‘inappropriate for children.’ He’d never been to a haunted corn maze, or even a haunted house. He hoped he wouldn't make too big of a fool of himself in front of Dean. Maybe, if he got scared, he could grab his crush’s hand, no consequences. Use the maze as an excuse. And maybe, if he were lucky, they'd go on the hayride after.

* * *

“What are you supposed to be?” asked Charlie in a very well-done Wicked Witch costume.

“I’m an angel of the Lord,” Cas said, making his voice even deeper. “I fell, just as Lucifer did, but for all the right reasons.”

“Cool, and I guess you’re just here as Dean Winchester?” Charlie asked, holding back a laugh.

“For your information, Elphaba, I’m Dean Winchester, hunter extraordinaire,” Dean said, playfully flipping her off.

“Hunter? Like Bambi?” Goth-Alicia asked.

“No, like monsters,” Dean said, eying Kevin up and down. “Nice Ariel, Kev.”

“Hey, you wish you could fill out this shell bra as well as me,” Kevin said, pushing the cups of the brassiere together to show off his non-existent cleavage.

They all laughed as Dean, Cas, warlock Max, waitress Jo, and a werewolf Garth all piled into demon-Channing’s five seater sedan. It wasn’t the safest option having Max and Channing sit up front with Garth sandwiched between Dean and Cas in back and Jo on Dean’s lap, but it was their only option. There simply wasn’t enough seats for all of them. Cas tried not to be jealous as the blonde girl made herself comfortable on Dean’s lap. No, it was simply not his place to hate her just because she and Dean were a couple.

Kevin took Charlile, fairy Gilda, vampire Alex, Alicia, and cheerleader Krissy into his own sedan. They were in the same boat with Krissy sandwiched between Alicia and Charlie, and Gilda on Charlie's lap. Alex sat up front with Kevin.

“If I’m cheating, so's Jo,” Dean argued as they pulled away from Kevin and Channing’s apartment. “She’s just using one of her mom’s old uniforms from when she used to work at the Roadhouse before it burned down.”

“At least I’m not going as myself,” Jo spat back and Dean tickled her pits, causing her to squirm, making everyone even more crowded and uncomfortable. “Hey! Dean Winchester I swear to god-”

“Not while I’m driving, Dean!” Channing yelled, giving him a harsh look in the rear-view. Maybe it was her devil horns, but that quickly shut the duo up.

The rest of the ride, Dean and Jo were pretty well behaved, making casual conversation with Cas and Garth as they made their way to their destination.

Once they made it to the haunted corn made, everyone breathed a sigh of relief once they got out of the car, stretching their sore limbs.

“Cas! Dean!” a voice shouted from across the parking lot and Cas turned to see a gypsy fortune teller and Disney’s Pocahontas approaching them. When they got closer, he recognized Patience and Kaia from Dave & Buster’s.

“Hey! Didn’t think we’d run into you guys again!” Dean said, offering them a small wave. “You know, Ariel and Pocahontas should take a picture together, seeing as they’re both Disney princesses.” Dean chuckled and pointed to Kevin struggling to get out of his van in the mermaid skirt.

“No thanks,” Kaia said. “Just here to represent Disney’s one and only Native American princess.”

“Nice!” Charlie said, giving her a high five. “Now, if only Disney made a lesbian princess, we’d be all set.”

“At least they made Lefou gay,” Cas commented. “It’s a step.”

Kaia shook her head. “We deserve more than a couple seconds at the end of a movie,” she said, crossing her arms. “Until the LGBT community can have main character roles with actual representative romantic story-arcs, it will just be scraps and not an actual seat at the table.”

“Aaand on that note,” Patience said, grabbing her girlfriend’s hand and laughing awkwardly. “You mind if we join you guys?”

“The more the merrier!” Garth answered for the group and everyone nodded.

* * *

The maze wasn't as scary as Cas had hoped, and on the hayride after, Jo had sat next to Dean near the rear of the truck, forcing Cas to sit next to Charlie. The night wasn't going exactly as planned, but Cas still had a load of fun. He didn't agree to go just so he could get closer to Dean, after all.

A couple more LARPing nights and a few more soccer games passed before the week of Thanksgiving. Classes were getting into the thick of things, and Cas had already submitted several large papers and assignments for each class. Although he was still running outdoors, his Jogging class was utilizing the indoor track as students began to complain about the cold.

Classes ended on a Tuesday that week, but it was their Friday schedule. The university called it ‘Fruesday’ and it was probably the dumbest thing Castiel had ever heard of. Why not just end the week on their Tuesday classes since it was, you know, a Tuesday? No professors really seemed to have an answer to that, all of them stating that they’d petitioned to get rid of the asinine day for years.

The university would be closing housing on Wednesday so that all staff could go home and enjoy the holidays. Since Gabe was opening the store around six in the evening on Thanksgiving to keep up with the ever-expanding-into-Thursday Black Friday madness, and as the manager had to be there several hours early to count the register and take care of managerial things, he wasn’t going to participate in the holiday that year. And since neither Gabe nor Cas were exactly welcome back home, Cas had no Thanksgiving plans. He thought about just staying on Gabe’s couch the whole weekend and fix himself a turkey sandwich, but the idea sounded both depressing and lackluster.

“What’re you doing for Thanksgiving?” Dean asked conversationally as the two of them packed after class.

“Uh, nothing really. Gabe’s working and I’m not going home to see the rest of my family so-”

“Nothing? You’re doing nothing for _Thanksgiving?”_ Dean asked, sounding slightly appalled.

“Um, no…” Cas said, as he zipped up his suitcase. “Is that a problem?”

“No, it’s just… You have to do something for Thanksgiving. I mean, it’s Thanksgiving!”

“Well I’m not…” Cas said, picking up his luggage from the bed.

“Well,” Dean said, doing the same. “You are now.”

“What?” Cas asked, looking at Dean with a dumbfounded expression.

“You heard me,” Dean said, looking back at his friend. “You’re doing Thanksgiving with us this year. End of story.”

“Dean… Are you sure your parents won’t mind having one more person? I know Jo-”

“What about Jo?” Dean asked, looking confused. “She’s doing Thanksgiving with her parents.”

“Oh, I figured since you two were…” Cas trailed off when he noticed Dean’s raised eyebrow.

“Since we’re what?”

“Well… aren’t you dating?” Cas asked, suddenly confused himself.

To his surprise, Dean burst out laughing. “No, Cas. I’m not _dating_ Jo.”

To be continued...

* * *

Keep in mind that these are poor college students. They aren’t trying to win any cosplay contests.

Charlie’s Elphaba costume:

Alicia’s goth costume:

Max’s warlock costume:

Here’s something like Jo was wearing:

Garth’s werewolf costume:

Channing’s demon costume:

Gilda’s fairy costume:

 

Alex’s vampire costume:

Krissy’s cheerleader costume:

Patience’s fortune teller costume (because I couldn’t find a commercial Esmeralda costume):

And Kaia’s Pocahontas costume:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your patience (no pun intended). These are coming out as fast as I can write them but sometimes they won't come out as quickly as the first few chapters did. Sorry about that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gobble til you wobble!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry you guys... Just... You'll see.
> 
> Also, I talk a bit about Fallout 4 since I spent a year of my life replaying that game (basically the tail end of 2015 - dec 2016) but for those who have yet to play this chapter contains ABSOLUTELY NO SPOILERS of the game.
> 
> Pics at the end, as always.
> 
> WARNING: discussion of religion at the end of the chapter, specifically through the perspective of an atheist. Again, this is in no way shape or form intended to offend or convince anyone of anything. I am just sharing an experience.

**Chapter 5**

**Cas:**

“You’re not dating Jo,” Cas repeated, the words tasted weird on his tongue.

“No. Why would you think I was dating Jo?”

Cas opened his mouth but no words came. He swallowed around the growing lump in his throat. “Because… Well… You guys are just so close,” he finally managed to stammer.

Dean chuckled. “Ugh, man, she’s like my sister,” he said, laughing a bit as he extended the handle of his suitcase so he could utilize the wheels. “She’s not exactly my type, you know?”

Cas didn’t know. Jo was a perfectly pretty girl… Unless… “Are you saying you don’t swing that way?”

“No! That’s not what I’m saying at all! If anything…” Dean looked a bit nervous. “Promise you won’t tell anyone.”

“You can trust me, Dean,” Cas said with sincerity.

“I… I, uh, kinda sorta might swing, uh, both ways.”

A circuit in Cas’s brain must’ve broken because he couldn’t come up with a single goddamn thing to say to that. “Uh…” he stammered eloquently.

“That’s not a problem is it? Me being bisexual? I know a lot of gay guys don’t-”

“Of course it’s not a problem! Why would it be?” Cas asked, suddenly defensive. He was reminded of how Dean reacted to him own coming out and was even more confused. Why on Earth would Dean have been bothered by Cas being gay if he himself was bi? He hoped his roommate meant it when he said he was ‘totally cool’ with it.

“I don’t know…” Dean said, looking down at his feet. He bashfully scuffed a boot across the floor. “I guess I’m more worried what Max might think.”

“Why would you be worried about how Max will react?” Cas asked, forehead crinkled in confusion. “He’s your friend. I’m sure he’ll take the news relatively well.”

“Yeah, well, that’s the thing,” Dean said, looking up and smiling shyly. “I, uh, might like him more than a friend.”

Cas felt his heart come to a screeching stop. He struggled to keep breathing. Of course Dean didn’t like him more than a friend! Cas simply wasn’t relationship material. This shouldn't come as much of a surprise. Max was a thousand times cooler and more attractive than Cas. It's not like he could blame Dean for noticing.

He occupied himself by popping out the handle of his suitcase so he could roll it like Dean. “Well, um, has he shown any interest in you?” he asked even though his brain was still letting off a slur of curses.

Dean shook his head. “I don’t know… Not really. He hasn’t made any moves or anything like that.”

Dean looked at him with sad but hopeful eyes and that was the moment Cas realized that if he couldn’t have Dean romantically, then he was going to be the best damn friend he could be. He wasn’t gonna be one of those guys who got caught up in shaming people for the mythical ‘friend zone’ rather than actually being a decent human being, no. He was gonna be what Dean needed right then: a friend.

“Well, maybe he’s waiting for you to make the first move?” Cas suggested. “Some guys don’t like putting themselves out there, especially if he’s worried it could ruin your friendship.”

“You think I should put myself out there?” Dean asked, looking away. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way? I don’t want things to get awkward between us…”

“Well,” Cas said, grabbing his keys and making his way towards their door. “If you’re good enough friends then it won’t matter. Your friendship will survive.”

Dean nodded, following Cas out the door and locking it behind them. “Thanks, man. I really needed that,” he said, grinning at his roommate.

If only Cas wasn’t too chicken shit to follow his own advice.

* * *

Thankfully, neither boy brought up Max the entire trip to Lebanon. They mostly talked about their predictions for the next season of Game of Thrones and what they wanted out of the next Star Wars movie, for which Cas was grateful. He wasn't in the mood to discuss Dean's love life at the moment.

They borrowed Kevin’s car, Dean not having his own. Kevin and Channing were going home together we’re just great friends like that. Dean kept complaining about the music on the radio to the point where, even though Kevin's car didn't have Bluetooth, he took out his phone and pulled up his own playlist on Spotify. It was mostly rock from the 70s, 80s, and 90s with a smattering of post-2000s songs scattered in. Apparently Dean was pretty big on classic music, but as he mentioned before, enjoyed a wide variety. Taylor Swift in particular. His roommate couldn't help but sing along when Shake It Off came on.

Once they arrived in Lebanon, Dean pulled up in front of a small blue house just on the outskirts of town.

“So, uh,” Dean said as he put Kevin’s car in park beside an impressively beautiful Chevy Impala. “My dad doesn't know I’m bi so…”

Cas put up his hand as if swearing an oath. “I promise I won’t say a word.”

“Thanks, man,” Dean said, pulling the keys from the ignition and getting out of the car. Cas followed him out into the driveway, taking a deep breath of fresh November air. It felt good to stretch his legs after such a long car-ride. Since Dean's last class for the day had been cancelled, they had left right after 2:00. Yet, thanks to Dean's speeding, it was shortly before midnight in Lebanon. Still, they were getting in pretty late.

“Dean!” yelled a voice from the house. A tall teenage boy ran up to greet them and Dean threw his arms around him.

“Heya, Sammy,” Dean said, breaking the embrace and ruffling the kid’s hair. “Nice Bieber cut.”

“Shut up,” Sam said, making a face in the porchlight. “JB hasn’t had the bowl cut in years, Dean. And don’t call me Sammy. Sammy is a chubby twelve-year-old. It's Sam, okay?”

“Whatever, Samantha,” Dean said, chucking at the scowl the kid made as he popped the trunk with the key fob. “Sam, this is Cas, my roommate. Cas, my baby brother Sam: vegan, hippie, cross country star.”

“Ugh, Dean, stop talking!” Sam groaned and Cas chuckled before retrieving his bag from the trunk as well.

“It’s nice to meet you, Sam,” he said corgally and Sam laughed.

“At least one of Dean’s friends has manners.”

“Will Jessica be joining us for Turkey Day?” Dean asked, ignoring Sam’s comment.

“Uh, me and Jess broke up actually,” Sam said, looking down at the concrete under his feet.

“Sorry to hear that,” Dean said, claping him on the shoulder before wheeling his luggage up to the front porch. Cas followed him inside the house and was met with the sight of a cozy looking living room. The furniture was aging but it somehow fit the overall look and feel of the house and the middle aged man sitting in one of the reclines who Cas immediately recognized as Dean’s father.

“Hey Dad!” Dean said, giving the man a wave. “This is my roommate Cas. Hope you don’t mind if he joins us for the weekend.”

Cas was surprised Dean hadn’t previously asked his father about him coming over and was just about to panic when the man stood up, offering his hand out for Castiel to shake.

“No problem at all!” he said as they shook hands. “We’ll need somebody to help us eat that turkey now that Sam’s not gonna.”

“Well, I’m certainly glad you’re inviting me into your home, Mr. Winchester,” Cas said, and Dean’s father looked impressed.

“Please! It’s John,” he said, taking a step back and putting his hands in his pockets. “You boys hungry?"

"Starving," Dean admitted. "We didn't stop for dinner. All I had was a fucking uncrustable for dinner."

To Cas's surprise, Dean's father laughed.

"Well, how about a midnight snack? I know a couple places open past midnight? Pizza tonight and Chinese takeout tomorrow?" he asked, before turning to Cas. "It’s kind of a Thanksgiving tradition when the boys were off school growing up. It’s part of our pre-Thanksgiving feast.”

“Sounds good to me,” Cas said, grinning wide. It was nice to be included in Dean’s family tradition.

“Awesome!” Dean said, pulling out his phone and pulling up the Pizza Hut app. “So, like, what? A large pep, a meat-lovers, and a cheeseless veg for Sam?”

Cas spent the rest of the night into the early morning chomping on pizza and watching the original Star Wars trilogy with Dean and his family, although he fell asleep long before they finished. Even so, it was the best Thanksgiving he’d ever had, and it wasn't even Thursday yet!

He slept on the couch until about noon and was woken up fairly early (for going to bed at nearly five in the morning) by an eager Sam wanting to go on a jog with him. Cas wasn’t sure how the youngest Winchester had found out he was a runner, but agreed to go, eager to keep up his routine even if he was away from the dorms.

After the jog, Sam taught him how to make tofu scramble (a scrambled egg substitute that was actually pretty tasty despite Dean’s insistence it was ‘toxic’).

The rest of the day, Cas and Dean watches Sam play the Wolf Among Us for the first time. Of course, Dean criticised every decision the fifteen year old made. They snacked on Doritos (classic nacho cheese for Dean and Cas and spicy sweet chili for Sam) and ate Oreos. Cas learned that Sam’s Doritos and Oreos, much to his surprise, were both vegan. Knowing nothing about the lifestyle he kinda had pictured Sam would be drinking green juice and eating celery sticks all day. It was a rather eye-opening experience. Not one he’d try for himself, mind you.

That night, they ordered Chinese takeout, each with a varying amount of meat to veggie ratio. Mr. Winchester ordered the mushroom chicken, while Cas opted for the beef and broccoli. Sam, of course, ordered something with veggies and tofu whereas Dean got orange chicken which had absolutely no vegetables in it at all whatsoever. It was funny how different the two brothers were.

Per Dean’s request, they continued through their viewing of Harrison Ford’s resume and watched the first three Indiana Jones movies. Apparently, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull didn’t count.

The next morning, after Cas spent the night in the guest bedroom instead of the couch, they all got up early to help out in the kitchen, which was apparently yet another family tradition. Sam made his own feast, of course, cooking a small log looking thing called at tofurkey beside their medium sized turkey. He also made his own side dishes, substituting almond milk in things like mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. He even went as far as to make his own pumpkin pie. Cas certainly appreciated the kid’s dedication, but as Dean said, red-blooded Americans had _real_ butter in their mashed potatoes, and Cas couldn’t find it in himself to argue with that logic.

The entire weekend was filled with food, fun, and laughter. It was so refreshingly opposite from what Cas was used to. It felt like a _real_ family.

* * *

**Dean:**

The week after Thanksgiving sucked, plain and simple. Even though all of Dean’s classes were in the later part of the morning, he still found it difficult getting up. He was only taking sixteen credit hours this semester (never again would he do an eighteen, he learned that the hard way his freshman year after a stressful breakdown around midterms). Even so, it felt like too much this week.

On MWF his first class didn’t start until eleven, it was his 200 level engineering class, probably the most important class of the semester. Dean swore he wouldn’t skip unless he was _actually_ sick, even though the syllabus allowed up to three unexcused absences. So rather than sleeping past noon like he wanted, he got up at ten and ran down to the cafeteria to grab something for breakfast before it switched over to lunch.

Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays his noon class was Japanese, a four credit class. Being a self proclaimed otaku (not a weebo as Charlie called him) the language was a huge interest of his. It was something he’d been taking since his Freshman year in high school and he was proud of himself for being able to watch anime without subtitles. In fact, he’d tested out of a couple years of the language and hoped to minor in it. After this semester, he’d have enough credits to do so. His dream was to actually go to Japan someday and try out his skills there. Hopefully his comprehension of the language would be good enough to get a non-touristy look at the county.

Often times he read anime at the library during his one o'clock lunch hour, grabbing a bite to eat from the not-Starbucks in the library's basement. The university had a fairly impressive graphic novel section that Dean took full advantage of. After lunch, his final class of the day was at two.  It was his lit class, a requirement to graduate, and the source of the bulk of his reading assignments. It wasn’t that Dean didn’t like to read regular novels, it was just that he didn’t like to read stuff he _had_ to read. And according to his professor, comic books and manga didn’t count as literature, and for that, Dean resented him.

Then, on Tuesdays he had his Japanese lab, where they practiced speaking the language, at ten. After that he had chem at eleven and intro to psychology at noon and then he was done, making it back to his room before Cas on these days. On Thursdays, his schedule was the same except he didn’t have Jap. All in all it was a pretty sweet schedule, if it weren’t for the required courses he didn’t give a shit about. Though, he was trying to get them out of the way so that by his junior year he could focus on his major.

By Friday, he was utterly exhausted, what with his courses amping up assignments and practice becoming more and more brutal as they approached the end of the season. All he wanted to do was go to the final LARP of the semester. It was getting too cold to continue their Moondoor escapades into December and everyone agreed it was probably for the best with finals coming up. At least he’d get to see Max. The thought of seeing his crush carried him through his final practice of the week.

After Moondoor, Cas mentioned being tired and went back to their room early. Not that Dean blamed him, it was getting close to midnight and the guy probably wanted to explore the Commonwealth in Fallout 4 or something. He’d just gotten to the Glowing Sea and Dean knew he was eager to continue with the game’s story.

This was the perfect opportunity to get Max alone.

Dean approached the dark-skinned boy, “Hey,” he said casually. “You, uh, wanna go see if the hotdog stand is out in the Villa yet?”

“Sure,” Max replied. “Pretty sure Frank’s doesn't set up until after midnight, but we could wait. Get in line before all the drunks.”

Dean nodded, causally adding, “Just you and me?”

To his surprise, Max smiled. “I’d like that a lot, Dean.”

* * *

They were sitting on the park bench of a local playground just off campus, eating their chili cheese dogs and shooting the breeze. The camus police didn’t typically care if students came to the playground after dark, so long as there was no sex on the slides, they pretty much let the college kids make fools of themselves, playing on the equipment like they were oversized ten year olds.

“I really like hanging out with you, Dean,” Max said, scooting closer. Dean could feel the warmth radiating off the other man in the December night, even though their layers of clothing.

Dean shoved the rest of his dog in his mouth, crumpling the foil wrapper into a ball. “Me too,” he said, talking with his mouthful in probably the most unsexy way possible.

Max laughed and put his hand on Dean’s knee, looking at him expectantly. It was now or never time.

“Max,” Dean said, scooting even closer. “I… I really _really_ like you and I hope I’m not, like, reading too much into shit but-”

Max squeezed his kneecap, cutting him off. “You’re not,” he said, leaning in. Dean could smell the chili on his breath, but he quickly realized he didn’t care. “I like you a lot, Dean. A lot.”

“Yeah?” Dean asked, brushing his nose against Max’s.

“Yeah,” Max repeated, before closing the distance and bringing his cold lips to Dean’s.

They both tasted like Frank’s but neither one seemed to care, Max pushing his tongue into Dean’s mouth mere seconds after the kiss began. Dean let him in, deepening the kiss.

After a moment, they broke apart.

“My roommate's staying at his girlfriend’s this weekend if you wanted to come over,” Max said, eyes hungry.

Dean nodded, part of him not believing this was all really happening. “Yeah, sure,” he said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

Max kissed him again. _Oh my god this is really fucking happening,_ Dean thought as he tried to slow his rapidly beating heart. He was finally finally starting something with his crush. He needed to get a handle on things before his nerves got the better of him.

* * *

**Cas:**

“So, we’re all hanging out at Kevin’s apartment tonight if you wanna come?” Dean said after he’d gotten out of the shower.

He didn’t come back to their room last night, slipping in shortly after noon to take a shower. Right now, all he had on was a towel around his waist and Cas was momentarily distracted by the beads of water trailing down his chest.

“Uh, yeah sure,” Cas said once he found his voice.

“Great!” Dean said, moving towards the sink to brush his teeth.

Cas watched the muscles in his back ripple as he moved. Oh, god, this crush was just getting worse and worse. He needed to get ahold of himself before Dean noticed his creepy staring.

He turned back to the tv and unpaused his game of Fallout 4. He was almost ready to visit the Institute for the first time, and he was pretty excited. He’d effectively avoided any sort of spoilers even though the game had been out for two years now. Even so, he knew this was where the game really picked up and was excited to finally be one step closer to finding Shaun. He continued playing until Dean and him were ready to go grab a bite to eat.

After dinner, he and Dean walked through the freezing December evening to Kevin’s apartment. It was warm and smokey inside Kevin’s place, which Cas didn’t mind one bit as he defrosted from the below zero windchill. He peeled off his hat, gloves, and scarf and hung them up on a hook before taking a seat beside Charlie on the couch. It was her weekend off, therefore she planned on being in the dorms as little as possible.

Dean went to the kitchen, returning with three beers, one of which he handed to Cas, the other to Max. He sat down between the dark-skinned boy and his sister on the other couch, leaving Cas with Charlie and Gilda.

He looked down at his beer and frowned.

“Don’t worry, Cas, it won’t kill you,” Charlie said, sipping a dark liquid out of a red solo cup. It probably wasn’t her usual Diet Coke, Cas realized.

He tilted his head. “But you’re an RA,” he said, eyeballing her drink with suspicion, the smell of it wafting over to him as she brought the cup to her lips again.

It appeared to be some sort of cola, but had a strong scent that Cas recognized as liquor. Never having so much as a single drop of alcohol in his life, Cas wasn’t sure what kind.

“Don’t worry!” Charlie said with a laugh. “As long as we keep it down there’ll be no reason for them to bust us. Besides, I’m just gonna crash here for the night so no harm no foul.”

Cas nodded, looking down at the drink still in his hand. It said ‘Angry Orchard’ on the label and had a picture of a very pissed-off looking tree. He kinda reminded him of the weeping willow version of Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation.

“Try it, Cas! It’s really good!” Garth said, plopping down beside him on the three-cushion couch. Their couch made a ninety degree angle with the other couch against the wall nearest the door and the wall separating the living room from the kitchen.

“Garth are you drunk?” Cas asked, eyeballing him skeptically.

“Dude, I just drank a whole beer, of course I’m drunk,” the tall skinny man said, giggling lightly.

 _Oh, god…_ Cas resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Even _he_ knew that most people didn’t get drunk off of just one beer. Not even a one-hundred pound girl could get _that_ drunk off of just one beer.

Cas looked down at his own beer, or was it more of a cider? What was the difference? He heard beer didn’t taste very good but this looked like it might taste alright. The label said ‘crisp apple’ and if Garth liked it then Cas might as well give it a try.

He twisted off the top using the sleeve of his sweater as he'd seen his brother do many times, sniffing the sweet smelling beverage, and took a tentative sip. As suspected, it tasted mostly like it smelt with a small unusual taste at the end, which he assumed was the alcohol.

“Not bad,” he said, taking another sip. “What are you drinking?” he asked Charlie.

“Coke Zero and vanilla rum. It’s vanilla Coke!” the redhead answered excitedly.

Cas nodded looking over at Dean on the other couch. His roommate made eye contact with him and smiled and Cas raised his bottle, giving him a nod. He didn’t fail to notice, however, the arm Dean had slung over the back of the couch just behind Max’s head. He wasn’t touching the other man but the gesture looked intimate enough that it sent a spark of jealousy down to the pits of Castiel’s stomach. He quickly chugged his drink.

“Can you show me how to make one of those, Charlie?” he asked, pointing to her ‘vanilla Coke.’

* * *

Some time later, Cas wasn’t sure how much as he’d lost track of time after this third or fourth drink, Max announced he had to get going. He and Dean both walked out, grabbing their coats before they left. Cas frowned at the door, unsure why Dean was leaving with Max, but a few minutes later, his roommate returned, shedding his coat and taking a seat next to Alicia, who didn’t leave with her twin.

Cas, feeling brave, got up from his place on the more crowded couch and plopped down next to Dean on the much-less cramped sofa.

“Hey,” he said, unconsciously leaning into his roommate slightly.

“Hey,” Dean said, smiling at him. “Me and Alicia were gonna go on the balcony and smoke, wanna join?”

“You smoke?” Cas asked, eyes squinted in confusion.

He knew Channing was a smoker, hence the lingering tobacco scent in the air, but he had no idea Dean had taken up the habit, and he’d been living with him for months!

“Not tobacco,” Dean said with a grin.

“Ah,” Cas said, understanding completely. Gabe was known to get high after work at times, and Cas was fairly familiar with the skunk scent of marijuana on his brother’s clothing. This was something he’d never smelt on Dean. Maybe the alcohol had lowered his inhibitions, but he thought he might want to try some pot. He nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

He, Dean, and Alicia grabbed their coats and went out to the balcony. The twin reached into her pocket and pulled out a baggie filled with what appeared to be dried spices, but Cas knew it was pot. It almost resembled catnip and he laughed suddenly at the thought of selling students nip and pretending it was pot.

“What’s so funny?” Alicia asked as she pulled out a small metal glass tube with a coil in the center and stuffed the drug into it.

“I was just thinking it would be really fun to sell catnip on the streets and pretend it was weed,” Cas admitted.

Dean laughed and clapped him on the back. “Hell yeah! We could make a shit ton of money that way, dude!” Alicia chuckled as she lit the blunt and took a hit, handing it to Dean who followed suit. He handed it to Cas who looked at it nervously. “You don’t have to, man. You can just sit out here with us,” Dean offered.

Cas shook his head, and with a sudden bout of courage brought the thing to his lips and inhaled. He held it in his lungs for a second before releasing, just like he saw in the movies. It was surprisingly smooth. He didn’t cough once. The joint was passed around a few more times, and the three of them talked about nothing and everything. Cas learned that Alicia and Max were Wiccans and that their mother was a ‘full-on hippie’ according to Alicia. Like Sam, she was vegan, but she was also very spiritual. She felt a connection to nature she’d passed down to her children.

“Yeah but she like believes in crystals and chemtrails and lots of other pseudo-science bs. Not sure I buy it all,” Alicia said as she took the final drag. She put the finished pipe in her pocket and stifled a yawn. “I’m gonna go inside and crash on the couch,” she told them, giving both Dean and Cas a tight hug. She gave them the peace sign before opening the sliding glass door and heading inside.

“You ready to head back?” Cas asked, looking at his roommate.

“Not really,” Dean said, leaning back in his porch chair.

Unsure why he felt the need to open up to Dean, Cas began talking about his own family.

“I really get what Alicia was saying, you know, about how she doesn’t believe all the stuff she was taught growing up,” Cas said, looking up at the clear night sky. “I’m kind of in the same boat.”

Dean leaned forward, his hands folded in his lap. “Is that why they kicked you out?” he asked.

Cas turned to look at him. He realized his mouth was open slightly before he closed it. Dean shot him an amused expression.

“How’d you guess?” he asked the sophomore.

Dean shrugged. “It wasn’t hard,” he said. “You never talk about them, for one. You’ve only ever mentioned your brother and when you do you kinda make it sound like you lived with him for a while. And you didn’t go home for Thanksgiving… That, and you never denied it when I asked about them before.”

Cas looked down at the deck and frowned. “They kicked me out because… because they couldn’t accept that I believe in something different than them,” he said, unable to look at Dean. “They’re very religious and I’m just… not,” Cas said with a shrug.

“You an atheist?” Dean asked, and Cas cringed at the use of the ‘A-word.’

Years of growing up in a religious household had left him with negative associations with the word, though he knew that was highly irrational. Atheists were just people who lacked a belief in the existence of God or gods.

“Um… probably more like agnostic,” Cas said, putting a name to it for the first time in his life. “I don’t believe we can _know_ if there’s anything like that out there and certainly if there were it wouldn’t be the god of any one religion. Hell, it might be just, like, an _energy_ or a being beyond our comprehension like when Bender meets ‘god’ in Futurama.”

“I get that,” Dean said and Cas finally looked up at him. He had a contemplative look on his face. “I don’t believe there’s a god. I identify as an atheist but I think there’s, like, a small part of me that might be a bit agnostic, so I’d say I’m probably 95% atheist.”

Cas chuckled. “How can you be 95% atheist?”

His roommate smiled and shrugged. “I mean, it’s a spectrum, like anything else. I don’t have to be 100% for or against things,” he said, looking back up at the constellations. “I mean, I figure there almost certainly isn’t a god. But even if there was, he either, one, is like you said, and doesn’t really give a shit. Like he or she or it created everything and then got the hell out of Dodge for one reason or another. Or two, is a loving god who really does care about us and therefore wouldn’t send people to Hell and shit for not believing in him because what kind of loving god would do that anyway? Or three, is a megalomaniac who demands love and attention and isn’t worth my worship anyway.” He shrugged. “So either way, it doesn’t matter. That’s how I look at ‘Pascal’s wager’ or whatever it’s called.”

“What’s that?”

“Uh, this old philosopher dude named Pascal basically said that when a person is presented with the question of whether god exists that the ‘smart’ decision would be to live as if he, or she, does exist. That way, if god’s real, they get to go to Heaven and shit, and if god isn’t, then they haven't really lost anything.”

“Except a lifetime dedicating their entire lives to something that isn't real and that they don't really believe in to begin with,” Cas said, shaking his head. “And surely if entrance into Heaven were based on belief, god would know if you were faking or not. You’d think that believing ‘just in case’ wouldn't count in his books.”

“Right,” Dean said, chuckling lightly. “The argument is totally flawed…" They didn't speak for a moment or two, both watching an airplane travel through the night sky. "Sorry about your parents, by the way. You deserve a lot more than that.”

Cas looked back at him, noticing the sincerity on his face. “I’m not so sure…” he said, looking away again.

“No, Cas, you do. If they really loved you, they’d respect what you believed. They’d be proud of you for coming up with your own opinions rather than just regurgitating thiers,” Dean said, and Cas turned to look at him again. “My family ain’t religious but when Sammy started wanting to go to church, you know what my dad - a hard-line atheist - did? He let him! He told him that he had to form his own path in life. And if your folks can’t accept that, they don’t deserve you, plain and simple.”

Cas swayed slightly into Dean’s space, the weed and booze affecting his balance, even sitting. But he couldn’t help it. The other man had spoken with so much passion, it shone in his bright green eyes. Or maybe that was the moon. Either way, it was magnetic. He leaned in further, looking down at his roommate’s plush pink lips. And before he even had a second to consider what he was doing, he kissed him.

For a moment, Dean stilled. Cas was worried he did something wrong but then the sophomore kissed him back, once and then twice before pulling away and leaning his head against Cas’s forehead.

“Cas…” he whispered into the miniscule space between his lips. “I can’t.”

To be continued...

* * *

This is what Alicia was using for the pot. It is basically what I took a hit off of the one and only time I smoked, but I think mine was metal.

This is what a basic tofu scramble looks like. You can add veggies if you want but basically you just crumble tofu and fry it in olive oil until it’s crispy and you add stuff like tumeric and cumin and garlic and onion powders and a little salt and pepper and BAM! Breakfast! I add hot sauce and/or sriracha because I like spice.

What the Tofurky roast actually looks like for you non-vegans. From what my boyfriend says and from what I remember turkey tasting like, it is a bit thicker than actual turkey and a little tougher. It’s not like tofu at all, contrary to popular belief. I’ve had this brand several Thanksgivings in a row and find it to be pretty tasty. The wild rice stuffing is really really good.

Picture of a blue house for sale in Lebanon so I figured it’d be okay to use? If not, I can take it down. But this is basically what I pictured for John’s house.

Here is the [webpage](http://mywildlifeproperty.com/30031-120-rd-lebanon-kansas-real-estate-country-home-sale/) for anyone interested in looking at the inside.

Jared’s high school yearbook picture! Fetus Jared is just TOO CUTE! I kinda wanna squeeze him like one of those stress ball things until his eyes pop out.

Type of stress ball thing I’m referring to so y’all don’t think I’m crazy. This one’s a panda :3

Or you could just picture Colin Ford if you’d like.

Whatever works for you! Just don’t picture Dean from Gilmore Girls since Jared was WAY older than 15 at that point, although he was still pretty young.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys. I promise destiel is endgame. But things have to get worse before they get better and unfortunately there's a lot of angst and pining ahead so thing'll get much much worse.
> 
> Also, I pretty much believe exactly what Dean said, although my personal background is similar to Cas's, just so you know.
> 
> My boyfriend is a 'hard-line' atheist, much like John Winchester. That basically means they absolutely believe there isn't a god and have no issues believing that with 100% certainty. Most atheists lie in the 99% zone, leaving 1% open for the unknown. Me and Dean are just SLIGHTLY more flexible, but not really agnostic since we take a much more firm stance than your typical agnostic. Again, it's a spectrum.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of pining, angst, and fighting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here are three songs by LGBT artists to set the somber mood.
> 
> Steve Grand and Eli Lieb - [Look Away](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eJDYilZezU).  
> And  
> Eli Lieb - Wrecking Ball [cover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oc2ByRFHzE0).  
> And  
> Eli Lieb - Someone Like You [cover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUhopRUh2ks).

**Chapter 6**

****

* * *

 

**Dean:**

“I’m sorry,” Dean breathed, pulling away entirely and standing up. He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, Cas, I can’t.” And without looking at the other man, he promptly pulled open the sliding door and went back inside.

Thank goodness everyone else was already passed out on either the couches or the floor. Dean didn’t want to talk to _anyone_ right now. He just wanted to get as far away from here as possible. He felt dirty knowing he’d kissed Cas back even though he was in a relationship, and even dirtier knowing he liked it. All he wanted to do was go back out onto that deck, apologize for acting like a shit-head, and kiss Cas into oblivion. But, he couldn’t. He couldn’t do that to Max. It was bad enough he was keeping their relationship a secret from his friend, Cas and Charlie being the only two besides Max himself who knew Dean was bi. No, he’d waited too long to be with Max to just throw it all away like that. And if they did break up, it was doubtful they’d remain friends. And what about Alicia and all their LARPing friends? What if they chose Max over him? What if Cas did? No, it was for the best if Max never _ever_ found out about what happened on Kevin and Channing’s deck that night.

Dean pulled out his phone to text the only person from Moondoor who wasn’t at the party that night.

_Dean: Hey you still up?_

_Jo: Yeah. Watching once upon a time. Whats up?_

_Dean: I need a place to crash for the night_

* * *

“What happened?” Jo asked, engulfing him in a hug as soon as she opened the door.

For once, Dean was glad Jo had a strict zero alcohol policy. Watching her mom work the Roadhouse had pretty much made her never ever want to be around drunk people. After tonight, Dean couldn’t exactly blame her.

Dean squeezed her tight before letting her go. “I don’t really wanna talk about it,” he said, looking around her room. “Where’s your roommate?”

“Frat party,” she said, moving aside so he could come in. “She thinks she’s gonna meet her Dave Franco there or something. I dunno.”

“Whatever. Look, I promise I’ll tell you in the morning if you promise not to tell a single soul, but right now I gotta sleep this off, okay? Lawrence is a long walk when you’re smashed and I can’t feel my toes,” he sat down on her big fluffy blue rug. “Just toss me a pillow and a blanket and I’ll be fine.

“Did you come from Kevin’s?” she asked as she grabbed her purple Star Wars blanket off the back of her chair, throwing it and one of her bed-pillows at him. She was starting to piece it together.

Dean frowned down at the galaxy pattern of the pillow. “You actually sleep on this?” he asked, looking towards her bed.

Sure enough, her comforter was a matching purple mess. At least it was better than Charlie’s Doctor Who bedding. Why couldn’t his friends just have normal bed sheets like Dean’s black and white ones or Cas’s brown and blue ones, or even Max’s olive and brown set. Even Channing and Kevin used some weird-ass floral Star Wars bedding. At least she didn’t sleep under a fucking _quilt_ like Garth. And he was pretty sure Garth’s roommate, Ash, slept on a burlap sack.

“Shut up,” she said, flipping him off. “I’m gonna go get ready for bed,” she said, grabbing her toiletry bag. “Just go to sleep, Dean. You’ll feel better in the morning.” She shut off the lights and left the room.

Dean tried to get comfortable on the floor but his feet poked out of the Jo-sized blanket. He was just thinking about how maybe he could ask her to switch with him when he drifted off into dreamland.

When he woke up his head hurt like someone’d run over it with a tractor and the inside of his mouth felt thick as he tried to swallow. He ran his tongue along his teeth, they felt gross and fuzzy. He sat up and the whole room started spinning and his stomach felt queasy.

“Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” Jo said, pulling an earplug out and looking up from whatever she was watching on her laptop. “You look awful.”

“I feel awful,” Dean admitted, fishing his phone out of his pocket and pressing the button on the side to check the time. But nothing happened. “Phone’s dead. What time is it?”

“Almost two. You slept _forever,”_ she observed.

“Yeah,” Dean said, pushing the blankets off of himself. “Alcohol will do that to you.”

“But it wasn’t just alcohol was it?” Jo asked, wrinkling her nose.

“No. It wasn’t,” Dean admitted. He stood up with a grunt. Sleeping on the floor in combination with his hangover made him feel thirty years older. At least.

“You gonna tell me what happened last night? Well, besides the obvious?”

Dean groaned and moved to sit on the edge of her bed. She’d raised it up a bit so he had to hop a little to get up there.

“You have to promise that you won’t tell anyone. I mean it, Jo.”

“God, I promise…” Jo whined. “Jeez, what is it? Did you do something awful?”

Dean took a deep breath. “Cas kissed me,” he said, squeezing his eyes shut and waiting for the inevitable explosion that was surely gonna come from Jo.

To his surprise, all she said was, “So?”

“And I kissed him back.”

“Again, so?”

“So? So it’s not a good thing, Jo.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m dating Max!” Dean practically shouted.

Jo looked surprised. “Oh,” she breathed, looking down at her laptop.

Well, Dean never meant to spill the beans on that one. “And, yeah, I’m bi by the way but I’m guessing you already knew that?”

“I kinda guessed,” Jo admitted, with a little shrug.

She and Dean sat there for a moment, neither one saying a word.

“I think I’m gonna tell them,” Dean spoke up after a while. “I think I’m gonna come out to our friends.”

* * *

After his phone had a charge, Dean messaged all his friends, asking them to meet for dinner at the Globe. Everyone said they’d be there, everyone except for Cas. His roommate hadn’t even responded, and because he was using Messenger and Dean knew for a fact he read it. At least he hadn't left the Messenger group.

As suspected, Cas was not at the Globe when he arrived, But everyone else was, so Dean plopped down next to Max and after a quick hello to the group began digging into his burrito. He was nervous so he didn’t make much conversation, focusing rather on eating his Taco Bell. When he’d crumpled up his Doritos packet, Jo looked at him expectantly and Dean knew he had to say something now, or else he never would.

“Uh, hey guys,” he said, getting the group’s attention. “I… I kinda have something important to share with you all… It’s not easy to say but, uh, well…”

Charlie must’ve realized what he was about to announce because she smiled and reached out from across the table to put her hand on his arm. “You can tell us anything, Dean,” she said and everyone murmured their agreement.

Dean swallowed. “Well, the thing is…” he took a deep breath before continuing, looking down at his plate rather than his friends’ eyes. “I’m bi.”

“Yeah, we know,” Garth said with a small chuckle.

Dean looked up and glared at Charlie, certain it was her who blabbed. “You knew?”

“Yeah, well, nobody is _that_ obsessed with Harrison Ford without being a tinsy bit bi,” Garth said with a shrug.

Dean recalled the several Han Solo prints he’d gotten at last year’s Comic Con that were currently hanging on the wall above his bed. Okay, maybe he was a little obvious. Especially maybe with _that_ picture. The one where Han’s shirt is drastically unbuttoned.

“Yeah, well…” Dean said, playing with the balled up burrito wrap on his tray.

“Hey,” Max said from beside him, putting an arm around Dean’s shoulder. “I’m proud of you, babe.” He leaned in to kiss Dean on the cheek.

Everyone stared at them and Dean cleared his throat. “Oh, yeah, and me and Max are… a thing?” He looked at Max, and the man nodded.

“Yeah, I’d say we’re a thing,” he said, rubbing his hand down Dean back.

The only thing that would have made Dean happier would be if Cas were there with them.

* * *

**Cas:**

Dean returned to their room around nine that evening, as Cas was writing a paper for tomorrow’s class.

“Is that how you spent you Sunday? Homework?” he asked as he kicked off his shoes.

Cas looked up from his laptop briefly before going back to typing. “Yes, and I don’t see how that’s unusual considering Sundays are always study days.”

Dean didn’t say anything and Cas believed his roommate was done talking, but after a moment, he spoke up again. “Is that why you weren’t at dinner?” he asked, the hurt in his voice obvious even though Cas could tell he was trying to conceal it.

“I wasn’t sure where we stood…” Cas said, his voice sounded small.

Dean sighed. “I’m dating someone, Cas…”

Well this certainly took Cas by surprise. “Who? Since when?”

“Um, Max… Since Friday night,” Dean admitted, sitting down at the edge of Cas’s bed.

Castiel could see him out of his peripherals from where he was sitting at his desk, but he didn’t turn to look at the other man.

He stared at his laptop screen as he talked. “You’ve been dating him for two days and you couldn’t be bothered to tell me?” His voice sounded angry, though he was trying to hold back. “Did you sleep with him?”

Dean scoffed and Cas heard him stand up. “What’s it matter to you?”

“Well, you kissed me back, for one. You’re in a new relationship, and yet rather than, I don’t know, _letting me in on this information_ , you kissed me back,” Cas said, feeling himself grow angrier.

For some reason this felt like a betrayal. He didn’t know why, it was only a kiss. It wasn’t like he and Dean slept together. It wasn’t as if Dean cheated on _him_.

“That was an involuntary response!” Dean shouted as he began to pace. “What did you expect me to do?”

“No, the involuntary response was when you froze up,” Cas argued. “And what did I expect you to do? Pull away! Not kiss me back. Twice!”

“I was drunk! And high, if you didn’t notice! You were too!”

Cas finally turned to look at his roomate. “No, you kissed be back because a small part of you wanted to. Maybe the weed and alcohol lowered your inhibitions, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t want it.”

Dean chuckled humorlessly. “Oh, so you think because we both like guys that I automatically _want_ you?” he asked, his voice venum. “Why would I want you when I can have Max? You’re just some nerdy guy I live with and Max is, well, Max! It’s no competition!”

Cas felt as if someone stabbed him in the chest with a flaming sword. No, a lightsaber. He felt as if he’d taken a lightsaber to the chest.

That’s when the words exploded out of Cas. Words he didn’t even mean. “Well, you’re just a dumb asshole jock! I don’t even know why we’re friends!”

Dean and Charlie were the best friends Cas had ever had. But he wanted to hurt Dean, in that moment. Hurt him the same way he’d hurt Cas.

“Fine,” Dean said, losing his momentum. “If that’s how you feel.”

It wasn’t.

* * *

In the weeks leading up to Christmas break, Dean and Cas avoided each other as much as possible. Which was difficult considering they lived together, but both of them seemed perfectly content pretending the other didn’t exist. Most nights, Dean stayed with Max anyway.

Their in-fighting took a toll on their Moondoor friends as well, with Garth, Charlie, Gilda, Kevin and Channing texting Cas telling him Dean would get over whatever funk he was in. Whereas Jo, Krissy, Alicia, and Max gave him the cold shoulder. Because of this, Cas stopped having dinner with the group, preferring to get his food to-go and take it back to his room. Nobody knew why Cas and Dean were fighting, as far as Cas knew, but nobody pried either. Cas preferred it that way.

Cas did his studying for his finals in his room. The closer it got to Christmas break, the less and less Dean came home, even after classes. Cas figured he was either staying with Max or studying in the library. He missed him, if he was being honest. He was honestly hoping his roommate would invite him for Christmas since the dorms closed for three weeks and Cas had nowhere to go. But now, there wasn't a chance of that happening.

Gabriel was dating a girl named Kali and in an attempt to impress her agreed to go home for the holidays to meet her family in India. Her family celebrated Diwali instead of Christmas, but even though the festivities would be long over by the time Gabe closed shop for a week and headed to Mumbai, her family was still eager to meet him. Because of this, Cas had nowhere to go when classes ended on the fifteenth. He really didn’t like asking other people for favors, preferring to be self sufficient, but he knew Kevin and Channing were going back to Michigan for the holidays and their apartment was going to be empty for a few weeks. Maybe it wouldn't be so inconvenient if he crashed in their living room while they weren’t there?

Since they were leaving in two days, Cas quickly sent a text to Kevin, asking him if he was okay with the plan, before returning to his studies. Not even a couple of minutes later, Kevin texted back saying he was more than fine with it and that if he wanted to, he could come home with them. Cas politely declined, saying he didn’t want to put any of them out. A place to stay would be _more_ than enough help.

Cas used his Bulldog Cash to buy a bunch of ramen packets and other instant meals so that he’d have something to eat while dining was closed. He also saved up some money over the summer working at Tricksters Sweet Tooth, his brother’s candy store, and had a credit card Gabe had given him in case of emergencies. At the very least, he wouldn't starve.

He spent the next week and a half dicking around in Fallout on the PS4 he'd lugged to Kevin's apartment and watching The Hundred and Supergirl on Netflix.

The day before Christmas he caved and used his summer earnings to grab some frozen pizzas from a local grocery store near the apartment. No way was he eating Ramen or any other noodle based food on Christmas! It felt kinda sad, not seeing anyone for the holidays. He wondered what Gabe was up to in India. He knew his brother sent him a present right before he left, but he wouldn’t be able to check his mail until the dorms opened back up again.

Most of all, he wondered what Dean was doing. Was his roommate spending Christmas with his family or Max’s? What would they exchange as far as gifts went? They’d only been dating about two weeks, so probably nothing extravagant. Cas tried to focus on beating Fallout 4, but the whole game seemed lackluster now. Everything did.

He missed Dean.

* * *

On Christmas he baked himself another frozen pizza and watched Christmas Story, Elf, and Nightmare Before Christmas (What? It was _totally_ a Christmas movie too! - Not that there was anyone there to judge him anyway…) Every half hour of so he obsessively checked his phone, hoping for a text from Dean or a call from his mother or one of his siblings, though he knew he’d be disappointed. Charlie and Garth texted him at least, and that was nice.

The week between Christmas and New Years _dragged_. He began texting Charlie throughout the day just to pass the time. He hoped he wasn’t bugging her too much.

_Cas: How was your Christmas?_

_Charlie: It was nice. We went and saw my mom in the hospital. Read to her._

_Cas: You and Gilda?_

_Charlie: Yeah. I did xmas with her folks this year. It was great! They're wonderful people <3 _

_Charlie: H_ _aven’t had that in a while..._

Charlie’s parents were in a car accident when she was twelve. Her dad died on impact, and her mother had been in a coma ever since. She lived with her grandma when she wasn’t at school.

_Cas: I’m glad. I watched movies and ate pizza in my underwear. It wasn't as awesome as it sounds. :(_

_Charlie: That kinda sounds horrible. I’m so sorry Cas. :'(_

_Cas: It’s ok. I wish I could have done christmas with dean but he’s not talking to me._

_Cas: And he’s with Max._

_Charlie: I’m so sorry Cas. I wish he’d get his head out of his ass and realize that you’re perfect for him._

Cas looked down at his phone. How the hell did Charlie know Cas liked him?

_Cas: You know?_

_Charlie: :/ yeah. Sorry. Dean told me what happened._

_Charlie: But even if he didn’t I can see the way he looks at you._

_Charlie: And vice versa_

_Cas: LookED. As in past tense. In case you forgot we aren’t exactly talking._

_Charlie: It’s not really my place to say… But don’t give up on him. Not yet._

What did Charlie mean by _that?_ Cas desperately wanted to know but didn’t want to pry. Maybe, after break was over, he could try talking to Dean again. He could apologize and maybe they could go back to being friends. That is, if he could get over this stupid crush of his. He was still totally lost on the guy, even after all the distance. Cas had it _bad._

Cas sighed and looked up at his Playstation. The Telltale Game of Thrones download was finished. Finally. At least he’d have something to occupy his brain for a bit.

Over the course of the next few days Cas played through all of the Telltale games he got with the PSN gift card his brother had mailed him for his birthday. This included, all four seasons of the Walking Dead game, Batman Telltale, Guardians of the Galaxy, and the Borderlands one. He even replayed the Wolf Among Us. But that only got him through New Year’s day. The dorms didn’t open back up until the fifth!

Ugh, he groaned. Opening the Netflix app on his PS4. Maybe he could start a new series? _2018 is going swimmingly!_ he thought as he tried searching for a show to watch. Netflix had taken so much down recently. Finally, he settled on watching the Office, for the upteenth time. He fell asleep halfway through season one.

On Thursday morning he was woken up by a knock at the door, which was weird since he knew for sure that Channing and Kevin weren’t coming back until Sunday night.

He went to the door and looked through the peephole. Standing on the other side was none other than Dean fucking Winchester.

To be continued...

* * *

 Charlie’s Doctor Who bedding:

Channing and Kevin’s bedding:

Basically Harrison Ford ALWAYS had his shirt unbuttoned. Examples.

[ ](http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/06/09/16/2979EA8200000578-3116954-Showdown_Bounty_hunter_Greedo_and_smuggler_Han_Solo_played_by_Ha-a-17_1433863459332.jpg)

Yeah…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What does Dean want?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is 100% from the perspective of Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve Grand - [Say You Love Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEw6n-dUA6c)
> 
> Again, just a few songs from my destiel playlist to help carry the chapter.
> 
> Warnings in the end notes!

**Chapter 7**

 

_You can have the money and the world_

_The angels and the pearls_

_Even trademark the color blue_

__

_Just like the tower we never built_

_And the shadow of all the guilt_

_When the other hand was pointing at you_

-I’ll Follow You, Shinedown

* * *

Cas opened the door, letting in the cold January air. It was snowing lightly and a few flurries flew into the living room.

“They aren’t home,” he said, assuming Dean was there to see Kevin and Channing.

“Not here to see them,” Dean said, shuffling awkwardly on his feet. Or maybe he was cold.

“Do you, uh, want to come in?” Cas asked, hoping the sophomore wasn’t here to curse him out or anything.

“Yeah,” Dean said and Cas moved aside so he could walk through the door. “I wanted to talk to you actually.” Dean closed the door behind him, and Cas breathed a sigh of relief. It really was very cold outside.

"Okay..." Cas said, but then a thought occurred to him. “The dorms don’t open til tomorrow." He suddenly realized. “Where are you gonna stay?”

“Charlie and the other RAs came back today so I guess I’ll just stay with her. She can smuggle me in,” Dean said with a shrug.

Cas nodded. “What did you want to talk about?” he asked him.

Dean looked away a second before looking back up at Cas. “I’m sorry. About everything,” Dean said and Cas was taken aback by the intensity in his eyes. He could tell the other boy meant it. “I freaked out and said a bunch of shit I didn’t mean… You’re a good friend. You didn’t deserve that.”

“I didn’t mean anything I said, Dean. I want you to know that,” Cas said and Dean nodded. “Are… Are you still with Max?”

“Yeah,” Dean said. “And that ain’t changing any time soon.”

Cas nodded. “I’m sorry about… You know...”  _The kiss,_ his mind filled in when his voice couldn't.

“Yeah, it’s whatever. You didn't know...” Dean said with a shrug. “I really like being your friend Cas and if I have to put up with this little crush of yours, then that’s a small price to pay.” The sophomore smiled and Cas rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, don’t let it go to your head. And it’s not a crush. I was drunk and high and you’re cute,” Cas said with an air of nonchalant smugness. He was lying of course, passing his disinterest off with a shrug. “It was a primal response. It’s not like I’m in love with you,” he said with a laugh. Something painful caught in his chest at the mention of the 'L-word' but he smiled through it. He wasn't  _in love_  with Dean, he just really really liked him.

Dean chuckled too. “Yeah, well, I’m still flattered,” he said. “You sure we’re okay?”

“Well, besides your inflated ego?” Cas teased. “Yeah. I’m one hundred percent over you.” He wasn’t, not even close. But he would do anything to keep this man in his life. Being without him was just too painful.

“Cool… Uh, speaking of relationships,” Dean said, casually segwaying into a safer topic. “Sam’s got himself a new girlfriend.”

“Really?” Cas asked, intrigued.

Dean moved over to the couch and Cas sat down next to him. “Yep. Pretty brunette named Sarah. I think he really likes her… Had to give him the birds and bees talk,” Dean said, chuckling lightly.

Cas laughed too. “Well I’m sure he appreciated that,” he said, shaking his head at his roommate. “Other than that, how was break? Did you get to meet Max’s family?”

“No,” Dean said, shaking his head. “We each did separate Christmases.”

“Oh, but you at least got to see each other, right? Exchange gifts?”

“Uh, we saw each other for New Years… Over Skype…” Dean said sheepishly.

Cas tilted his head. “You didn’t see your boyfriend all break?”

“No. We didn’t even really talk all that much,” Dean said with a shrug. “But, it’s a new relationship, right? Maybe he just doesn’t want to come on too strong, you know?”

“Maybe…” Cas admitted.

“I did get him something though. I might be jumping the gun but I got him tickets to Hamilton for Valentine’s Day… But now I’m kinda second guessing myself, you know?” Dean laughed and ran a hand through his hair. Cas could sense the nervous tension.

“I don’t think it’s a bad gift,” Cas said and Dean looked up at him, cocking an eyebrow. “No, seriously. I think it shows initiative. It shows you’re in it for the long-haul and really want to be with him. Maybe he’s just as scared as you are and that’s why he’s shielding himself.”

Dean nodded. “Maybe you’re right,” he said, although he still didn’t sound convinced. “But, hey, enough about me! What did you do for Christmas, Cas?”

“Well, I didn’t see my family, obviously. And, since Gabe is in India with his new girlfriend I just kinda stayed here… And did nothing,” Cas admitted with a casual shrug.

“Seriously? You didn’t do  _anything?_  Wow, Cas I’m so fucking sorry. If I had known…”

Cas would have liked that. He would have liked to go home with Dean and do Christmas with his family. He wondered how different a secular Christmas was to his mother’s ‘keep Christ in Christmas’ version of the holiday. He wondered how much more enjoyable the whole ordeal was when one wasn’t dragged to church and forced to pretend to say grace before Christmas dinner. He wondered how much more fun it would be to just celebrate family and gift giving.

“Well, there’s always next year,” Cas said, knowing that as long as Dean was with Max he would probably not be joining them for any holidays, let alone Christmas.

“Totally,” Dean said, giving Cas a small smile. “Hey! Let me see your schedule for this semester. I wanna know what you’re taking.”

Cas pulled up his schedule on his phone.

“Let’s see… Monday, Wednesday, Friday… Gross, you have English at eight in the morning?”

Cas shrugged. “There weren't any later openings and I need it to graduate.”

“You still gonna run in the mornings?”

“Maybe I’ll switch to after class…” Cas said, pulling a face at the thought of getting up at six to run.

“Good thinking. Okay… History at nine, not horrible but still early. And then you have Bio at eleven. Sweet, you’re done by lunch!”

“Yep. I figured that way we could always do lunch together… If you wanted.”

“‘Course I want to! ‘Kay, what else… Tuesdays/Thursdays you’ve got Calc III at eleven. Nice! Followed by Personal Finance at noon… At least you’re learning how to schedule classes,” Dean said with a chuckle. “And looks like you’ve got a sociology class at two…. Not bad, Novak.” He handed Cas’s phone back to him. “No more French?”

Cas shook his head as he pocketed his phone. “It’s not like I’m minoring in it.”

“Yeah, but I tested out of so much Japanese that I don’t gotta take any more either. Finishing my minor early,” Dean explained with a casual shrug.

“You gonna study abroad?” Cas asked, hoping the answer was no.

“Not sure yet. It’s kinda a big thing, you know?”

Cas nodded. “I get it… What’s your schedule look like?”

“Uh…” Dean scratched his chin as he tried to remember. “Monday, Wednesday, Friday I’ve got Engineering at ten, and Astrology, of all things, at noon. And then after lunch I have a mythology class at two. And on Tuesday-Thursdays I have Bio at two and Chem at three.”

Cas groaned. “I am so jealous.”

“Yeah, well, pays to be an upperclassman,” Dean said, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back. He was the picture of casual smugness.

Curious, Cas asked, “You don’t have to take any more required classes after this year, do you?”

“Um… No, I do. I’ve got two more tier three classes I have to take before I can just focus on my major… Uh, I think I’m gonna take Queer Lit, if I can get into it and then all I have is my seminar.”

Cas nodded. Dean was surely gonna graduate on time. He probably wouldn’t have to take an extra year like, well, half of everyone who went to college now-a-days. “You think you’re gonna intern?”

Dean shrugged. “No clue. It depends I guess. I’m hoping the programs here alone will be enough to land me a job without an internship, you know?”

Cas nodded. If there was anything he understood it was the value of a liberal arts education. This was something he and his mother debated on numerous occasions when Cas was still in high school.

“Since you’re not doing soccer next semester do you want to run with me after class? It might be good for you?” Cas asked, changing the subject.

“Maybe... I might wanna since I play midfield, but I’m not gonna like it,” Dean said, making a face at the thought of running without a ball in front of his feet.

Cas chuckled, smiling at Dean. As their smiles dissipated, the two men stared at each other for a little longer than comfortable until Cas cleared his throat. “We, uh, should do something tonight, before everyone gets back,” he offered, breaking the weird tension that often happened between them.

“You didn’t see Star Wars did you?!” Dean exclaimed suddenly, pulling up something on his phone.

“No, I had no one to see it with… I’m also trying to save money right now so…”

“Nah, man, I’ll pay. Call it a Christmas present,” Dean said, grinning as he pulled up the Fandango app. “What time are you thinking?”

“Dean, you really don’t have to…”

“How does after dinner sound? Like at nine?”

“Dean, I-”

“Speaking of dinner, the cafeterias are closed so… what exactly have you been eating? You said you were broke.”

“Uh, ramen mostly, but Dean-”

“Okay, that’s it!" Dean said as he finished up the Fandango transaction. "I’m paying for your dinner too.”

“You really don’t-”

“Can’t just let you starve, Cas,” Dean said, looking up at him intently. “Rule number one now that we’re friends again: you have to let me pay for stuff on occasion. I mean, I wanna do stuff with you and since you don’t have much money I figured I’ve got you covered.”

“You should save your money for when you and Max go out…” Cas said half-heartedly. Part of him really liked the idea of Dean paying for stuff.

“I, uh, I don’t really think Max is the kind of guy that likes to go out on dates… Our relationship is much more… physical than anything,” he said awkwardly. “I’m kinda just hoping at this point he’ll even  _ want  _ to go to Hamilton with me. But, um, yeah. If we do start going on dates, I’ll just make  _him_  pay. He has a tutoring job so…”

Cas was running out of excuses. “Oh, in that case…”

Dean smiled. “Is that a yes?”

“Yeah, I guess. Sure,” Cas said with a noncommittal shrug.

Dean looked at his phone, noting the time.

“It’s after one. You eat yet?”

* * *

After chatting with Dean over Chinese takeout the man insisted he’d pay for, the two of them watched The Force Awakens and Rogue One just to get a recap and get themselves in a Star Wars mood. Dean had already seen The Last Jedi but bit his tongue when Cas began discussing theories.

At about six thiry, the two of them took a bus to Buffalo Wild Wings. Dean insisted Cas go there when he told him he’d never been to B-Dubs.

They got there at around seven and after taking their time eating deliciously battered wings, the two of them headed out to the bus stop once again to hitch a ride to the theater. Their student passes got them free travel so it wasn’t a big deal that they had to wait for twenty minutes. When they got to AMC it was just after eight thirty. Dean paid for their tickets and they avoided the concessions stand, partially due to them both being  _ stuffed  _ but also because it was  _ super expensive.  _ Also, Cas didn’t want to have to pee during the movie.

They chatted about nothing and everything, getting into heated debates about the silliest things, until the lights dimmed and the previews started.

By the time the movie ended it was after eleven thirty so Dean paid for an Uber. They wanted to talk about the movie on the ride back, but their driver told them he didn't want any spoilers, so they had to hold their tongues until they got back to Kevin and Channing’s apartment.

By that point, it was well after midnight.

“So much for Charlie smuggling me in…” Dean said after checking the time.

“You can always stay here,” Cas suggested.

“Yeah, sure. Probably not gonna be bunking together all that much once the semester starts, if you catch my drift,” Dean said, waggling his eyebrows.

The thought of Dean staying with Max nearly every night made Cas’s chest hurt, but he pushed past it. Dean was his friend, nothing more. And that was just the way it had to be.

* * *

The next morning, Cas and Dean went back to Norman, eating breakfast before they checked their mail. Sure enough, Cas did get a gift from his brother. The guy had sent him $300! He must’ve had a profitable year, even with closing the shop a week before Christmas.

After setting back up his PS4, Cas and Dean spent the entire day rewatching Firefly on Netflix, only stopping their marathon to grab food from Norman’s cafeteria.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, because when Max came back on Saturday, Dean spent the next two days with him, staying in the other boy’s room rather than coming back to Boyd Hall. As it turned out, Max’s roommate transferred schools that semester and the other sophomore currently had the room to himself. Cas tried not to think about how the boys were using that to their advantage.

The first week of classes were both welcome and tiresome. Welcome, because Cas could finally focus his mind on something other than Dean and Max. Even hanging out with Charlie and Garth hadn’t calmed the thoughts inside Cas’s head. And the first week was tiresome because Cas had to readjust to waking up before noon. At least he got to see Dean during lunch at when they ran together after class. Thank goodness Cas kept up with his running during break. Dean on the other hand, haven't exercised once and was about three weeks out of shape. But, by the end of the week he could almost keep pace with Cas. Almost.

On Friday, it was still too cold to do anything outdoors (they’d be running on the indoor track at the recplex) so Charlie invited a couple of people to a Prism meeting. Dean declined, saying that he’d be spending the weekend tied up with Max (Cas couldn't help but think he meant that literally). But Cas agreed to go. Maybe he would meet someone there who could help him get over Dean.

Before the meeting, he saw someone with a somewhat familiar face talking to a guy with a fauxhawk. He squinted at the person, trying to place where he knew the features. They were more masculine than he once knew, but he’d recognize those eyes anywhere.

“Hannah?” he asked as he approached his ex.

“Cas!” Hannah shouted, engulfing him in a hug. “It’s Hector now, actually.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry…” Cas said. “I just didn’t know what you were going by now.”

“Nah, it’s okay,” Hector said, smiling at Cas. “It’s so good to see you.”

“Yeah, you too,” Cas said, smiling back.

In high school, Cas had dated Hannah the summer before his senior year. She lived in the same neighborhood as him and their parents approved of the relationship so it seemed like a no-brainer. But, Cas never liked Hannah the same way she liked him. During their relationship, he came out as gay, effectively breaking her heart. She didn’t blame him though, understanding how difficult it was to hide something from not only your friends and family, but yourself as well. They remained very good friends until they graduated.

During the course of their senior year, Hannah began transitioning. She credited Cas for helping her realize her own gender and sexuality. She said that if he weren’t brave enough to be himself and follow his heart, she might not have been either. During Hannah’s transition, they insisted on being called by gender neutral pronouns until they felt comfortable as a man. Soon after, he still preferred going by Hannah, but as his beard started to grow in, he insisted on male-pronouns. But he still didn’t want to go by a new name until he had his top-surgery. That must’ve been a success considering Hannah was now, at long last, Hector. Cas was happy for him.

“Hey, come sit with us!” Hector said, gesturing towards a group of friend. “Charlie’s welcome to join.”

“Hey Hector!” Charlie said, waving at the other freshman.

The Prism meeting was both fun and informative. They played a few games and discussed setting up a booth during safe-sex week at the health clinic. Safe-sex week was apparently something the university promoted in February. The health clinic did free STD/I screenings and groups like Prism set up booths with helpful pamphlets and tutorials such as how to put a condom on. They also passed out flavored condoms with sucker sticks glued to them as well as dental dams and packets of lube. Prism always tried to get in on the action (no pun intended) so they could help end the stigmas surrounding anal sex. Also, because those who were LGBT were statistically less likely to disclose to their doctors, which lead to more STDs spread around the community.

After the meeting, Hector asked if Cas and Charlie wanted to hang out with him and couple of friends. Charlie declined, saying that Gilda would be back from her choir practice soon and that she was really wanting a quiet night in with the GF. Cas agreed, eager to spend more time with Hector.

* * *

The following week, it was more of the same. Cas hung out with Dean at lunch and after class, his roommate ditching to go spend time with Max after dinner. Max never joined them for lunch, but he always tagged along when the whole Moondoor group went to dinner. It was kinda a tradition of theirs to always eat together. According to Charlie, meals were a bonding experience and would help them better defend the realm.

Cas still got jealous as Max and Dean obviously flirted in front of him, but he tried to push that feeling down and instead be happy for his friend. Afterall, Mas was  _ really  _ hot. Plus, he was a pretty cool guy with a bit of a nerdy side. And he was funny. And smart. No wonder Dean liked him so much.

On Friday, Cas went to Prism alone. After the meeting, Hector asked if he wanted to get some ice cream before the shop in the Villa closed.

“Just you and me?” the other boy asked.

Knowing this was a date, Cas still said yes. Maybe, if he and Hector spent more time together, they could rekindle whatever romantic flames were lost when they were in high school. Maybe, just maybe, Hector was the key to getting over Dean.

The ice cream parlor also baked amazing homemade cookies that could be stuffed with any flavor of ice cream to make a sandwich. The only problem was they were huge! Cas and Hector opted to split a chocolate chip cookie / mint chocolate chip ice cream sandwich. It was so large, it had to be eaten with sporks rather than simply picked up like your typical ice cream sandwich.

“Am I crazy for wishing things had worked out between us?” Hector asked when they were a couple bites in.

Cas thought about it for a second before answering. “No, I don’t think you are. I mean, we were both in different periods of our lives at the time, but that doesn’t mean that the relationship was hopeless.” He pushed around a bit of ice cream, softening it a bit before spooning it into his mouth.

Hector nodded, taking another bite. “You just weren’t attracted to me as Hannah?”

“Don’t get me wrong, you were very pretty as Hannah. Just not-”

“A guy?” Hector finished for him, a contemplative look on his face. “And now?”

Cas had never really considered being with a transgender person before. But firmly believing that trans men were real men, he had to admit that he was  _ much  _ more attracted to Hector than he was to Hannah.

“Now, I think you’re exceedingly handsome,” Cas admitted, bashfully looking down at their sandwich instead of at Hector.

“Yeah?” Hector asked, sounding unsure.

“Yeah, I think the stubble really suits you. And you’ve put on a bit of muscle. It looks good,” Cas said honestly.

Hector’s stunning blue eyes shone bright when he looked up at Cas. “You really think so?” he asked, his voice sounding hopeful.

“I know so. Not to mention you’re probably the nicest person I’ve ever met,” Cas said, honestly. And it was true. Hector was kind hearted. Even when they dated, it was something he admired. Just how compassionate they were. Maybe meeting Hector again at Prism was the universe's way of saying they were meant to get back together. Or maybe that was bullsit. Either way, Cas was willing to try. “I really like you,” Cas told him. Maybe he didn’t like him as much as he liked Dean, but he might given enough time.

Hector smiled, kind eyes reflecting his joy. “I really like you too.”

“I’m willing to try this again if you are. I think we might actually do better this time around,” Cas said, with the type of casual shrug he’d learned from Dean.

“I would really like that,” Hector said, his grin large and bright.

Ice cream sandwich forgotten, they walked hand in hand back to Norman Complex. It was nice to have someone beside Cas to warm the night. He missed this sort of thing, this intimate human contact. There was something pure and sweet about simply holding someone’s hand. It was no wonder the Beatles wrote a song about it.

The entire walk back, Hector and Cas caught up. He learned the other freshman was a theater major, which made sense considering he was highly involved in the arts in high school. Even though Cas went to Lutheran school, he would occasionally go see the public high school’s musicals and such, even after the two of them had broken up. Hector was always good, no matter what role he was performing.

When they got back to his room, Hector was in his personal space the second the door closed.

“I’m so glad I ran into you, Castiel. Seeing you again… It’s like it’s last summer all over again,” he said, inching closer.

Knowing it was what the other boy wanted, Cas brought his lips to Hector’s, kissing him with enough passion to hopefully erase Dean’s kiss. Hector kissed him back with a fever, backing him against the door.

This is what Cas needed, someone who actually wanted to kiss him back. Someone who wasn’t conflicted about being with him.

But it wasn’t what Cas wanted, not really.

* * *

Hector ended up spending the night. Picking up where the couple had left off was easy, especially now that the smooth, soft skin that was once Hannah was now the toned muscle and scratchy stubble of Hector. That night they had sex for the first time since they were seventeen. But, as Cas plowed into Hector’s tight asshole, he couldn’t help but picture sandy hair and green eyes.

The next morning at breakfast, the Moondoor gang wanted to get waffles at Norman. Cas saw this as a perfect opportunity to introduce Hector to his friends.

“Hey guys, mind if Hector joins us,” Cas said as he and Hector approached their usual table. All their friends were already there, including Dean and Max who were currently feeding each other bits of waffle from one another’s forks. Cas wanted to gag.

“Sure!” Charlie said, smiling at the Latino boy. “The more the merrier!”

Cas sat down next to the redhead and Hector sat next to him, beside Garth.

“So, Hec,” Garth said, giving him a nickname already. “How do you know Cas?”

For once, Cas was grateful Garth was so nosey.

“We dated in high school, actually,” Hector answered. “And, um, we decided to try dating again.”

Cas nodded, trying to look anywhere but Dean. “Yeah, we met up at a Prism meeting a couple weeks ago and really hit it off. It was like no time had passed.”

“Um, well, congratulations you guys,” Dean said from across the table. “Welcome to the family, Hec.” Apparently the nickname was gonna stick.

After that, Hector ate lunch with the rest of them every day. He said that outside of a few friends in Prism, that he didn’t know too many people on campus. He was glad to have met such an accepting group of new friends. Cas was happy his Moondoor friends were so open minded. None of them even batted an eyelash when Hector told them he was trans.

Not to mention the sex was pretty good, especially when Hector used a strap on so Cas could bottom. Again, he tried very hard to picture the man he was with rather than someone else, but sometimes his fantasies got the better of him. Blue eyes always seemed to turn to green in his head.

* * *

The third week of classes was just as monotonous as the first two. For some reason, this semester was definitely harder. Dean joined Hector and Cas most nights at the library to study. Cas wondered why he wasn’t hanging out with Max so much but tried not to pry. Really, it was none of his business.

It was a definite plus that Hector seemed to get along so well with Dean. Maybe this was partially because Cas didn’t tell him about the kiss or his crush. Not that it mattered, it wasn’t like they were dating at the time.

His new boyfriend seemed to get along so well with his friends that he invited him over to Kevin and Channings that Saturday. Once he arrived, Max was nowhere to be found, but Dean was there, chatting with Charlie and Jo on one of the couches.

Grabbing him and his boyfriend what Channing dubbed a ‘Blue Lagoon’ - which was just blue Kool-Aid mixed with blue raspberry vodka - Cas sat down next to Hector on the other couch. He took a tentative sip of the beverage. It wasn’t bad.

As Cas and Hector were talking, Dean plopped down beside them.

“What the Hec!” he said, laughing at his own dorky pun.

“Hi Dean,” Hector said, smile wide. “Where’s Max tonight?"

“He’s got a big paper due on Monday,” Dean said with a shrug. “What’s that?” he asked, pointing to Cas’s cup.

“Blue Lagoon,” Cas answered, swirling the liquid around.

“Oooh, sounds fancy,” Dean said with a chuckle.

“It’s not, it’s just blue vodka mixed with blue Kool-Aid,” Cas said, taking another sip of the beverage. It was probably going to stain his teeth blue, but he didn’t really care so long as he remembered to brush his teeth before bed. Which was a lot harder to do when intoxicated, he’d learned from experience.

“Probably better than what I’m having,” Dean said, holding up his Blue Moon. Cas sensed some sort of theme. “Mind if I have a sip?” his roommate asked.

Cas handed him his cup and Dean brought it to his lips. As he drank, his adam's apple bobbed and Cas was mesmerized by the other man’s beauty. He licked his own lips as Dean tongued some of the blue liquid from his perfect pink mouth. His roommate smiled his signature cocky smile and told Cas the drink ‘wasn’t bad’ and excused himself to get one, handing Cas’s purple solo cup back to him.

Cas looked down at the white plastic rim.  _ That’s where Dean’s mouth was!  _ he thought to himself, brushing his thumb around the edge. Just the thought of Dean sharing his drink with him made him feel warmer, and he wasn’t even drunk yet!

Not only was his roommate drop dead gorgeous, he was dorky and funny. He and Cas shared pretty much all the same interests and they never ran out of things to talk about despite their different upbringings. He was also cool in an effortless sort of way and charismatic in a way Cas envied. Though he sometimes acted like an idiot, Dean was highly intelligent, possibly more-so than Cas. He could certainly keep up with nearly every nerdy thought that crossed the freshman’s mind. And on top of everything else, Dean was his best friend. The man was loyal and selfless and giving in a way that was a true rarity. Most of all, Dean just  _got_  him. More than anyone else had in his entire life.

And Cas was utterly and truly in love with him.

To be continued...

* * *

 I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do, about you now.

-Oasis, Wonderwall

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: non-detailed sex with someone other than Dean!
> 
> Hector uses a strap on in this segment, which I have gotten some questions on. Hector had top surgery performed but not bottom surgery. Many MTF trans people chose not to get this operation done for various reasons, and transitioning takes YEARS so it may be something Hector might consider in the future, but at the end of the day, it is his choice and doesn't make him any less of a man. That is all.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean have a heart-to-heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Don’t Wait by Joey Graceffa](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kcwo_mhyqTw)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Warnings at the end of the chapter!

**Chapter 8**

 

_I’m in love with an angel who’s afraid of the light_

_Her halo is broken but there's fight in her eyes_

__

_Walls are built to keep us safe_

_Until they’re crashing down_

_Worlds apart we were the same_

_Until you hit the ground_

Angel - Theory of a Deadman

* * *

**Cas:**

Cas was in love with Dean. With that realization, he excused himself to get another drink.

 _God, how did he let this happen?_ he asked himself as he poured far too much vodka into his Blue Lagoon. Bringing the cup to his lips, he downed half of it in one sitting, the alcohol burning his throat on the way down.

“That bad, huh?” Charlie asked from behind him. She wasn’t talking about the drink.

Cas turned around to find her casually leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, taking another large gulp of his drink.

“I think you do,” Charlie told him, giving him a pointed look. “You know, his birthday was on Wednesday. He asked us not to tell you.”

Cas cocked his head, squinting his eyes at his friend. “Why would he ask you not to tell me?”

Charlie looked behind her to make sure nobody form the living room was eavesdropping before she continued, “Because he didn’t feel like celebrating this year and he thought you’d call him a hypocrite.”

Cas was confused. He understood that it would be ironic for Dean not to want to do something for his birthday after he’d made a big deal about Cas doing the same thing, but what made his roommate suddenly not want to celebrate his twentieth birthday in the first place?

“Why-”

Charlie shook her head, cutting him off. “It’s not my secret to tell. Take it up with him if you want to know.”

Cas chugged the rest of his drink. “Thanks, Charlie. I think I will.”

In the living room, Dean was still chatting with Hector on the couch.

Cas approached him. “Hey, can I talk to you about something?” he asked. When his boyfriend shot him a confused look, Cas reassured him they’d only be a moment.

“Uh, sure,” Dean said, standing up and following Cas out onto the deck.

The sophomore stood several feet away from him, obviously remembering what happened the last time they were out here alone.

“Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday on Wednesday?” Cas asked, crossing his arms over his chest and rubbing his arms. He was only wearing a sweater and it was fucking freezing outside.

Dean, seemingly okay in just his flannel, looked down at his feet, pursing his lips. “Who told you?”

“It doesn’t matter who told me,” Cas retorted. “Why would you go through all the trouble to make sure I celebrated my birthday but then leave me out of yours? I thought we were friends.”

Dean looked up at him in shock. “We are, Cas. Never doubt that,” he said softly.

“Then why?”

“Because Max doesn’t, quote, ‘do holidays or birthdays,’” Dean answered bitterly.

Cas was taken aback. “What?”

“Yeah, he told me when I gave him the Hamilton tickets after Christmas,” Dean explained. “I didn’t tell you because I was worried you’d take it wrong.”

Cas felt angry. “Is there a right way to take this? You don’t feel like celebrating your _twentieth birthday_ because your boyfriend doesn’t want you to?” He tried not to blow this out of proportion, but from where he was standing it sounded bad. Controlling almost.

“Of course not!” Dean said, sounding offended. “He’ll fucking _let me._ I just don’t want to… I’m kinda upset, man.”

Cas could understand that. He’d be upset too. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but why are you even with him?” he asked, knowing that in all likelihood, Dean would probably take that the wrong way.

Dean sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Sometimes I don’t know…” he admitted. “I went into this thinking he was perfect and now… I just don’t know.”

Dean deserved better than that. He deserved someone who treated him the way Dean treated other people. His roommate put so much _heart_ into everything he did. It was a shame Max didn’t return the favor.

“Do you love him?” Cas asked softly.

“No…” Dean said, looking away. “I thought I might have but… I don’t think I do.”

“Then why are you with him?”

Dean scoffed. “What? Do I suddenly have to be in love with someone to date them? Are you in love with Hector?”

“Well, no…”

“Then why are you with him?” Dean threw back.

“I’ve never been in love with anyone I’ve dated…” Cas admitted. People Cas wasn't dating however… That was a different story.

“Yeah, well, me neither,” Dean said with a shrug.

Both men stood in silence for a couple of moments before agreeing to go back inside before their balls shrank into their bodies. The topic was dropped, at least for now.

The rest of the week continued normally, Cas and Dean acting as if nothing had ever happened on that balcony. Both pretending they were in happy, healthy relationships. And on Friday, Cas went to the final Prism meeting before Safe-Sex Week, which was supposed to take place the week before Valentine's day (February 5th - 11th). They basically had three more days to prepare before they set up a booth at the health center on Monday. Hector volunteered them for shifts sitting at the booth. People were supposed to be there giving out materials from three to nine every day during the week and from eleven to five on Saturday and Sunday. They were taking volunteers for two hour blocks, and there was no limit to how many blocks each volunteer could sign up for.

Hector was just about to sign them up for a fourth shift when Cas stopped his pen. This, _them_ , it wasn’t what he wanted. He couldn’t just pretend to keep doing these couply things with him. He deserved to know the truth.

“Hey, can I talk to you for a second? Uh, outside?” Cas asked him, grabbing his hand and leading him out into the hall.

“What’s up?”

Cas released his hand and took a deep breath, running is fingers through his hair nervously. “Hector, I really like you. A lot.”

“I like you too,” the other boy said, and Cas almost backed out then and there. But, he reminded himself that this had to be done. Hector deserved better. Hector deserved a boyfriend who wasn’t in love with someone else.

“These last few weeks, they’ve been great-”

“But?” Hector asked, his face pained.

“But… But I’m in love with someone else,” Cas said to him. God he felt like such an asshole saying it, breaking Hector’s heart a second time.

But, to his surprise, the other boy simply asked, “Is it Dean?”

“H-how did you know?” Cas stammered.

Hector shrugged. “It’s the way you look at him,” he said, a small frown on his face. “You look at him like he’s your entire world… You’ve never looked at me like that.”

That stung. It was true, but Cas still felt horrible. “Are you mad?” he asked, bracing for the truth.

Hector shook his head. “No. I’m not,” he said, a small smile cutting through his sad features. “I think you two are pretty much perfect for each other.”

“He’s with Max.”

“Max isn’t good for him,” Hector said with conviction.

“Yeah, well,” Cas said with a shrug. “He’s not gonna break up with him, so… What am I supposed to do?”

“Make him fall in love with you,” Hector said, as if it were just that easy.

* * *

**Dean:**

“Hey, you’re back early,” Dean said when Cas came back from his Prism meeting.

“So are you,” Cas said, flopping down onto his bed.

“Yeah, well, Max is going out with some friends from high school so…” Dean said, shrugging.

“And?” Cas asked, sitting up so he could look at Dean.

“And he said they didn’t really like new people. I dunno…”

His roommate stared at him with his mouth open for a couple seconds. “Dean, that’s really controlling.”

Cas wasn’t wrong. Max could have stood up to his friends on his behalf. But he didn’t.

Trying to change the subject, Dean asked, “You’re not hanging out with Hector tonight?”

“We broke up,” Cas said, laying back down.

“What happened? You guys seemed really happy together.”

“Yeah, like you and Max with all your gross flirting?”

“Hey!”

“Sometimes, people just appear happy,” Cas said rolling over to face Dean.

“Maybe,” the sophomore admitted. “You gonna be okay?”

“I don’t know yet,” Cas said, rolling over to face away from Dean. He ended up falling asleep within minutes. 

The following week, Cas had volunteer hours with Prism at the health center and Hector was going to be there. When Dean asked him why he didn’t ditch, Cas told him that he made a commitment and that it wouldn’t be fair to the club if he didn’t show. At least the guy had conviction.

Dean only saw Max once that week, his boyfriend not even showing up to dinner most nights. And when Dean invited him to Kevin and Channing’s Valentines party that Saturday, the guy had the audacity to not only criticize them for doing a Valentines Day party on the tenth, but also commented on how they seemed to have ‘parties’ every weekend. Again, he made a point to say he didn't ‘do holidays.’ Whatever that meant.

So, on Saturday Dean trudged through the cold February night to Kevin and Channing’s apartment with Cas.

The whole way he thought about what his roommate said, about how he deserved better.

* * *

**Cas:**

“Dean! Cas! Come play truth or dare with us!” Charlie shouted from where the entire group (minus Max) was sitting in a circle on the floor. She seemed intoxicated already.

“What is this? A middle school sleepover?” Dean asked as he plopped down next to the redhead. Cas sat next to him. “How much have you guys had to drink?” It was only eight o’clock and most of them looked pretty hammered.

“Well, I don’t drink, so…” Jo informed them. “At least I come to these things now.”

“And we’re all _so_ happy you’re here,” Charlie said, reaching over to give the blonde a hug.

“Okay!” Krissy shouted. “Dean! Truth or dare?”

“Uh, dare.”

The small brunette laughed. “I dare you… to… kiss Charlie!”

Dean looked at his friend and the tiny redhead shrugged. “It’s not like I’ve never kissed a guy before. High school prom, we got trashed and well, I wanted to try it.”

Dean shrugged as well. “Fine by me,” he said, leaning over and giving his friend a wet sloppy kiss on the mouth. When they pulled apart, he held out his palm and pretended to write on it, “Dear diary: it finally happened,” he said, making everyone laugh.

“Okay, Cas, it’s your turn,” Charlie said, giving the freshman a mischievous smile. “Truth or dare?”

“Uh...” Cas stammered. Not having a drop of alcohol in his system made him much less willing to do any sort of dares, especially if they might involve kissing. “Truth?”

Charlie gave him a hard look, staring him down before she asked, “Do you wish Dean wasn’t with Max?”

Cas’s heart rate increased. “Uh…” was all he managed to get out.

“What kind of question is that?!” Dean scoffed.

Charlie shrugged. “It’s one for Cas, not for you,” she told him.

“Well, do you?!” Dean asked, his forehead crinkled. “Because Charlie is usually very perceptive about his shit and-”

“I do. I mean I don’t. I mean…” Cas said, taking a deep breath to steady himself. “I wish Dean wasn’t with Max…” he whispered.

For what felt like an eternity, but in reality was probably less than a minute, everyone stared at him. Some people’s jaws were open in surprise. Dean’s expression was unreadable.

“Excuse me,” Cas said, getting up to go to the kitchen.

He felt like crying but he willed the tears not to come. Well, now Dean knew. It was only a matter of time before he pieced together how lost on him Cas was. He was gonna lose his best friend and it was all because he couldn’t turn off his stupid fucking emotions. He poured himself a couple fingers of strawberry lemonade vodka and took a large gulp. It was probably meant to be mixed with Sprite or something because it burned as it went down his throat.

He felt someone come up behind him, but rather than turn to look he finished his drink and poured himself another one.

“You lied,” Dean said. “You lied when you said you were over me.”

Cas didn’t say anything. He didn’t even turn around.

Dean laughed humorlessly. “You felt this way the whole time and all we ever did was flaunt it in your face, didn’t we? God, I’m so sorry Cas. That must’ve really fucking sucked,” Dean said, his voice sympathetic.

“How the fuck would you know?” Cas asked. He still couldn’t look at him.

“Because I know what it’s like to be in love with someone and to feel like you can never be with them.”

Cas scoffed, turning around to finally look at his roommate. “Who says I’m in love with you?”

Dean shrugged. “Never said you were, just said I knew what it was like.”

Cas studied his face before saying, “But you said you’ve never been in love with anyone before…”

Dean smiled sadly, shaking his head. “I said I’ve never been in love with anyone I’ve _dated_ before.”

Cas put down his drink and leaned against the counter. “Oh…” he said, not daring to even hope that Dean could possibly mean him. There was no way Dean was in love with him. He was probably talking about someone else. Someone from his past.

“You know that 24 hour coffee shop in the Villa? I, uh, I really think we should go there and talk… If you want to. I mean, I understand if you just wanna go home or something,” Dean said, looking at Cas. His green eyes were deep with some sort of emotion Cas couldn’t place.

“Yeah, sure,” Cas said, suddenly nervous.

What could Dean possibly want to talk about? Maybe he wanted advice on Max. Or maybe he wanted to let Cas down gently. Either way, Cas wanted to hear him out. Cas would do _anything_ for his roommate. He’d go to hell and back for him if he could.

They walked in silence, wrapping their leather jackets tightly around themselves to stay warm.

When they got to the cafe, Dean ordered them both vanilla lattes and they took a seat near the fireplace. Well, it wasn’t so much of a fireplace as it was an electric heater with fake flames. But it was warm nonetheless.

Cas took a sip of his hot beverage, burning his tongue slightly on the scolding coffee.

“I’m thinking about coming out to my dad,” Dean said, taking a sip of his own drink.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah… I know he won’t exactly approve but it’s not something I want to hide anymore, you know?”

Cas nodded, taking another sip. It didn’t burn this time. “Is Max the first guy you’ve ever dated?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, but not the first guy I’ve ever kissed. I… I’ve always had crushes on guys, it was just that dating girls was easier.”

“I can understand that,” Cas said. “I dated girls before I came out.”

“Yeah?” Dean asked, smirking. “Who was your first girlfriend?”

Cas smiled as well. “Well, if you count kindergarten. My first ‘girlfriend’ was this girl in my class named Amelia. We’d play house together.”

“That is downright adorable, Cas,” Dean said, chuckling. “And after that?”

“After that, well… My first kiss was my friend Meg at a 6th grade lock-in with our youth group. It was during truth or dare, believe it or not. We never dated though,” Cas explained. “My first girlfriend was Daphne in the 9th grade.”

“Like from Scooby-Doo?”

“No, Dean, I didn’t date a cartoon character,” Cas said with a snort. “She was just some girl who went to our church. Uh, my dad was a pastor there and my mom teaches music education at the school. She also plays piano during services and stuff.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, so it was kind of expected that I’d date within the community.”

Dean nodded. “My mom was a teacher too, but uh, as you know she died when I was a little kid so…” Dean trailed off for a second. “Dad works at Bobby’s shop. He's the only other full time mechanic besides Rufus. Jo and me were only ever part-time.”

Cas hummed and sipped his coffee before jumping back into his story. “Uh, so anyway, after Daphne, I went out with April for a couple months. Lost my virginity to her actually. It was kinda weird for me because it didn’t feel as amazing or groundbreaking as everyone said it would. And I always felt closer to my male friends than I did any girlfriend, but, I guess I had it so ingrained in my head that I was supposed to like girls and that anything else was a sin that I never really let myself question if it was what I really wanted, you know?” Cas asked and Dean nodded. “After that, I went on a couple of dates with this girl named Nora, but it never went anywhere, and then I started dating Hannah that summer.”

“Hector used to be Hannah, right?”

Cas nodded. “Yeah. She and I were pretty close friends growing up and my parents liked her so…” he trailed off. “But that’s when I realized I was gay. Finally admitting that to myself felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder. I broke up with Hannah and senior year I started going out with Balthazar. My parents had no clue… But, uh, Balth didn’t believe we were exclusive because apparently that’s something you’re supposed to explicitly say when you’re dating someone and, uh, it turns out he was sleeping with a lot of other people…”

“Jesus, Cas. I’m so sorry. That _had_ to suck.”

“It did. He was my last relationship until I started dating Hector again,” Cas said. He took another sip of his rapidly cooling beverage.

“My first kiss was Cassie. 7th grade. Lost my virginity to Lisa. Those were my only two relationships before Max. If you can even call them that,” Dean admitted, looking down at his drink instead of Cas. “I didn’t really date all that much, surprisingly. I wanted to date more people, especially Benny, but I never had the courage to admit I liked him. We were friends since middle school and I didn’t want to fuck that up, you know?”

Cas snorted a bit, though it was half-hearted. “Oh believe me, I know.”

Dean nodded. “There was this guy named Fergus on my varsity soccer team, though everyone called him Crowley for some reason. We made out behind the bleachers, but, uh, he didn’t want anything serious. And then there was Aaron from senior chem. He was my lab partner. We flirted like crazy but it never really got anywhere… And that’s everyone up until Max I guess,” Dean said with a frown.

“But he doesn’t make you happy,” Cas said. It wasn’t a question.

“No,” Dean finally admitted. “He doesn’t.”

“You deserve to be with someone who actually wants to spend time with you. Someone who wants to celebrate your birthday and see Hamilton with you and introduce you to to all the people in their lives,” Cas said, looking into Dean’s eyes when the other boy glanced up. “You deserve someone who thinks your amazing, because you are. You’re perfect.”

“Well, I don’t know about all that,” Dean said with a small scoff.

Cas looked away. “Well, you are. At least you are to me.”

They were both quiet for a couple minutes before Dean asked, “Cas… Why’d you and Hector break up?”

“You,” Cas admitted, still not looking at his roommate. “It’s because no matter how hard I tried, I could never get over you.”

They were quiet another minute and Cas was worried Dean was going to tell him he didn't want to be friends anymore. He was so sure Dean was going to tell him off and that he'd lose his best friend completely when the other boy finally spoke.

“Can I kiss you, Cas?” Dean asked, his voice a whisper.

Cas looked up at his roommate, surprised. “What?” he breathed.

“Can I kiss you?” Dean repeated, this time with more confidence.

Cas felt his stomach turn, he tried to say something but no noise came from his throat. Instead, he nodded.

Dean leaned across the table and brought his lips to Cas’s. Fireworks exploded behind Cas’s eyes as Dean’s lips pressed against his. As their lips morphed together in that simple, chaste kiss, Cas knew that he would never feel for anyone the way he felt for Dean.

Dean was it for him.

To be continued...

* * *

I'm here at the beginning of the end  
Oh, the end of infinity with you

\- Fall Out Boy, Last of the Real Ones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Dean kisses someone while he's still in a relationship with Max.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the angst! All the fluff!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Stay](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3G3xm1-spg) by Steve Grand 
> 
> I added two things from OrlCon 2018. One in this chapter, and one in the last chapter. See if you can spot them.
> 
> WARNING: I don't know how many of you have guessed what Max is up to, but it isn't pleasant.

**Chapter 9**

You, I saw you across the room

And I knew that this was gonna

Blossom into something beautiful.

You're beautiful.

-Never Shout Never, Can’t Stand It

* * *

**Dean:**

Cas was the first to pull away from the kiss. “Dean…” he said, groaning lightly, his lips barely grazing Dean’s. “Max. You have to break up with Max.”

“I know,” Dean said, brushing his nose against Cas’s. “I will.”

Cas shook his head from where it sat rested against Dean’s forehead. “You don’t understand,” he breathed. “I want to kiss you again but I can’t so long as you’re still together.”

Dean nodded, pulling away so he could meet his striking blue eyes. “I can see if he’ll meet tonight.” Dean looked at the clock on his phone. It was only 9:30. Surely, Max had a couple minutes to talk.

“You don’t have to tonight if you don’t want to,” Cas told him, small frown on his face. “I mean, I can probably survive until tomorrow.” His roommate laughed but it sounded forced.

Maybe he was scared Dean would change his mind. Maybe he thought Dean just wanted a fling.

Dean grabbed Cas’s hand on top of the table, squeezing it to get his attention.

“Hey,” he said, trying his hardest to show Cas exactly what he was feeling with his eyes alone. “I was fucking blind before, Cas. You’re amazing. I haven’t stopped thinking about our first kiss the whole fucking time I was with Max.”

“Really?” Cas asked, his blue eyes shining in the faux firelight.

And that was when Dean knew it was time to go big or go home. Cas deserved the truth. “Cas, every time I was with him,  _ every damn time _ , I imagined it was you. You are the last thing I think about when I go to bed and the first thing I think about when I get up in the morning…” Dean admitted, keeping his eyes on Cas. Wearing his heart on his sleeve he put everything on the line for this beautiful man. “I love you,” he said softly.

Cas’s eyes grew big. “You do?” he asked, breath catching in his throat.

Dean nodded, pushing past the fear that was bubbling in his stomach from such an intense confession. “I was just too stupid to realize it until now, but I do. I really really do,” Dean said with a small smile. “I’m in love with you, Cas.”

Cas didn’t say anything for a moment and Dean was worried he royally fucked things up, but then his roommate breathed, “I love you too,” and smiled at Dean, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I love you so much.”

Dean chuckled at the intensity of the moment, and also because he was so damn happy. He'd never made himself so emotionally vulnerable before. It was a whirlwind.

He wiped the tear from Cas’s cheek. “I’m gonna text Max to meet me outside his dorm,” he told Cas. “How does that sound?”

“Perfect,” Cas said, “It sounds perfect.” And Dean couldn’t agree more.

* * *

After asking Max to meet with him, Dean walked with Cas’s to Max’s dorm. He was in Kensington Hall, the newest and most expensive dorm on campus. As they walked, his anxiety grew, but having Cas at his side kept him strong. He had to do this. He had to do this so he could be with Cas.

When they arrived, Dean asked Cas to wait in the lobby with him until Max came down to let him up to his room. He was nervous, but he believed Max deserved his full attention and didn’t want to have an audience while he broke up with him. He owed him that at least.

To his surprise, Max came down in just a pair of sweatpants. He was naked from the waist up.

“You said this was important? I was kinda in the middle of something, Dean,” Max said by way of greeting.

“Yeah, can… Can we talk in private, maybe? Up in your room?” Dean asked him, nodding towards the door Max had just come through.

Max shook his head. “I kinda have someone up there right now…”

Dean was confused. “Oh, well, can’t you ask you friend to leave while we talk? It’s really important.”

“No, Dean, I have  _ someone  _ up there,” Max said, overly emphasizing the word.

The silence was deafening as Dean tried to work out what the hell he meant by _that_.

“Oh my god!” Cas suddenly said from the lobby. He stood up out of his chair. “Dean, he’s  _ sleeping  _ with someone else.”

“What?’ Dean turned to look at Max. “Tell me that’s not what you mean.”

Max shrugged and Dean felt his heart fall to the pits of his stomach. Max was cheating on him?

“How long?” Dean asked, his voice as small as he felt.

“Oh,  _ honey,” _ Max said, putting his hand over his heart. “You didn’t think we were exclusive, did you?”

Yes, actually. Dean thought they were. This whole time that was _exactly_ what Dean thought they were.

“You said we were at thing!” Dean argued.

Max clicked his tongue. “Yeah, a ‘thing’. I never said that thing was boyfriends. Oh, sweetheart!” Max said, a pitying look on his face. “Did you really think we were boyfriends? I thought you knew we were just having fun.”

Even though he’d come here to confess to kissing Cas and to break up with Max, Dean still felt betrayed. Betrayed because as awful as he felt for kissing another person, it was only a kiss. Max had fucking slept with other people the whole time they were dating. And they weren’t even actually dating, apparently!

Dean felt tears slip down his cheeks. “I-I…” he started but he couldn’t continue. It felt like his throat was closing in.

“You fucking piece of shit!” Cas yelled. “How could you fucking do that? To Dean of all people?!” He was breathing hard as emotion took over.

Max scoffed. “Pft, it’s not like the two of you weren’t sleeping together,” he said, waving his hand in dismissal.

“We didn’t…” Dean said through the tears that ceased to stop. “I couldn’t-” he swallowed down a sob.

It wasn’t that Dean was upset he and Max were finally over, far from it. It just hurt way more than expected to learn that he’d waisted the last month and a half of his life chasing someone who didn’t feel a damn thing for him. Being cheated on fucking sucked.

“I kissed him before I knew you guys were together,” Cas said. “But that was on _me_. And we  _ never  _ slept together!”

“Oh yeah?” Max asked, looking at Dean. “What did you come here to tell me then, hum?”

“I-I kissed… I kissed Cas, again, just now…” Dean said, trying to compose himself. “I came to break up.”

“Okay? And how is that _not_ the same thing?” Max asked, crossing his arm.

Cas stormed up to Max, getting right up in his face. “It’s not the same thing and you know it!” he hissed, staring the other man down. The two men stayed in each other's personal space far longer than comfortable in their territorial showdown.

“Whatever,” Max said at last, backing away slightly so he could make eye contact with Dean. “You’re a needy little bitch anyway. Get out of here, go run off with your new  _ boyfriend _ . I have a hot date to get back to.”

“Gladly,” Cas growled, grabbing Dean by the arm and ushering him out of the dorm.

Once they were out on the street, Dean finally spoke up. “I’m sorry,” he said wiping his eyes.

Cas looked at him, his shocked blue eyes glowing under the streetlight. “Why are you sorry?”

Dean shrugged. “For crying I guess…” he said, looking away.

Cas grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing Dean to look at him. “Did you forget I went through the same exact thing with Balthazar? Dean, you have  _ nothing  _ to be sorry about. It hurts. I get it,” he said, rubbing his hands down Dean’s arms.

Dean could feel the electricity of it even though his jacket.

Dean swallowed. “When you… When you said you loved me did you - did you mean it?” he stammered, trying to read his roommate’s cerulean eyes. 

“I did. I meant it, Dean,” Cas promised him, brushing the pad of his thumb under Dean’s eyes to wipe away more tears.

He cupped Dean’s jaw, pulling the sophomore closer and Dean grabbed his wrist, glueing Cas’s palm to his cheek.

“I really wanna be with you, Cas,” Dean whispered. “I only wanna be with you. No one else… I’m not into  _ all that.” _

“I know,” Cas said, smiling at him. “I want to be with you too.  _ Exclusively _ ... It kinda sucks that we have to specify that…”

“You-you’d want other people to know, right?” Dean asked, the thought suddenly coming into his head.

“What! Of course I do!” Cas said, resting his forehead against Dean’s. “Why would you even think that?”

“Just covering all my bases…” Dean said, breathing in the other man’s scent. They stood there for a moment, caught in suspension.

“Can I kiss you now, Dean?” Cas asked and Dean chuckled.

“Only if you promise you’ll go to Hamilton with me on Wednesday. As my boyfriend.”

“I’d be honored,” Cas said, finally closing the microscopic gap between them and bringing his lips to Dean’s.

* * *

**Cas:**

Dean’s lips were cold, and wet with tears but they were still the greatest thing Cas had ever tasted. It had begun to snow around them, but under the lamppost, neither boy noticed as they pulled each other closer, deepening the kiss. Cas licked the seam of Dean’s mouth and the other boy opened up for him, their tongues colliding in a warm embrace. Dean backed Cas up until he felt the cool metal between his shoulder blades, even through his leather jacket. He pressed closer, slipping a leg between Cas’s when someone across the street wolf whistled at them, jostling the boys out of their lust induced state.

Giggling, they moved a few inches apart until they were no longer really touching, but were still in each other’s personal space.

“You want to go back to our room? Get out of the cold?” Cas asked and Dean’s eyes went wide, almost panicked.

“I, uh, Cas, I-”

Sensing what was wrong, Cas interrupted his stammering. “We don’t have to do anything besides kiss if you don’t want to,” he said, grabbing his roommate/boyfriend’s hand. “We can take things slow if you want. I’m in no rush.”

Dean released the breath he was holding and nodded. Cas smiled and kissed him once more before the two of the trudged through the flurries, hand in hand.

That night, they pushed their beds together and watched Netflix until they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

* * *

When Cas woke up he felt a warm body pressed against him, for a second he thought it was Hector and he started to panic.  _ But I thought I broke up with him!  _ he thought in his sleepy state.  _ Oh god, what if that was all a dream! _ It was a good dream too. He and Dean had kissed, declaring their love for each other. And his roommate had finally dumped Max, although that part ended rather tragically as secrets rose to the surface.

Cas was just about to wiggle out of Hector’s arms when the body beside him groaned and wrapped his arms tighter around Cas. Except, that groan didn’t belong to Hector it belonged to-

“Dean,” Cas whispered and the other man groaned again, pressing his face into Cas’s back. “Dean wake up.”

“Uuuhhgh, what is it Cas?” Dean asked, sounding half asleep.

“I need to make sure you’re real. That last night wasn’t a dream,” Cas answered, face heating up at the childishness of his statement.

Dean chuckled lightly. “Turn around and see for yourself,” he said, loosening his grip on Cas so he could roll over. When he did, he was face to face with tired green eyes. “Believe I’m real now?”

“Only sometimes,” Cas said, kissing his freckled nose. “You’re a little too good to be true.”

“You’re one to talk,” Dean groaned, snuggling closer and laying his head on Cas’s chest. “You’re entirely deep voice, sex hair, and stubble in the mornings. Not to mention your eyes are somehow more blue when you’re tired. Nah, as far as jackpots go I think I definitely hit it.”

Cas kissed Dean’s temple. “I just want to lay here forever,” he said, nuzzling into sandy hair.

“I think our bladders and stomachs might have something to say about that,” Dean said, kissing Cas’s neck. “Also, morning breath. Totally not sexy.”

Cas hummed, reaching behind him to grab his phone from the bedside table. It was nine in the morning. “Maybe it can wait a  _ few  _ more hours though,” he said as he and Dean drifted back to sleep.

When they were finally up and ready for the day, they had slept through breakfast. Though, both of them had several texts from Charlie asking them to meet up for lunch at the Globe.

On their way out the door, Dean stopped Cas by putting a hand on his arm.

“Hey,” Dean said, biting his lip. “Did you want to let our friends know today or later? Because I’m totally fine if you want to-”

“Today,” Cas said, drawing Dean to him by the pockets of his blue flannel. “I don’t want to wait.”

They exchanged a chaste but passionate kiss before throwing on jackets and heading out.

* * *

 

Once all of their friends were at the table, Dean put down his sub and cleared his throat.

Krissy caught on right away, shouting, “Shut up everybody! Dean has an announcement!”

“Uh, thanks Krissy,” Dean said, rolling his eyes. “So, you guys may or may not be aware but Max is-”

“A massive dickwad?” Charlie finished for him. “No offense Alicia.”

Max’s twin snorted. “Yeah, my brother’s an ass,” she admitted with a shrug. “I should know, I shared a womb with him.”

Dean cleared his throat again and everyone turned and looked at him. “Uh, like I was saying… Me and Max, we’re no longer a thing. In fact, as it turns out, he didn’t ever think our relationship was as, uh, exclusive as I believed it to be so-”

“Did he  _ cheat  _ on you?!” Alicia asked, anger building in her voice. “I’m  _ so  _ gonna kill him.”

Dean put a hand up, waving her off. “That’s, uh, not necessary,” he said, shaking his head. “Cas here already gave him quite an earful last night.”

“I’m sorry but I have to say something,” Garth said, looking Dean dead in the eyes. “Cas is perfect for you, man! I know you probably just see him as your dorky roommate-”

“Hey!” Cas objected, but Garth ignored him.

“-but I swear if you just gave him a chance you’d see how good he is for you!” Garth continued. “I mean  _ we  _ all see it and I see the way Cas looks at you. And I know it’s not up to me but if someone looked at me like  _ that _ , I’d marry ‘em.”

Everyone around the table began nodding their heads and murmuring in agreement, Charlie exclaiming, “Hear! Hear!”

Cas looked at Dean who smirked at him and gave him a smug shrug. “That’s just what I wanted to talk to you guys about,” Dean said, stupid grin on his face. “Well, not the whole marriage thing exactly but I guess you could say that me and Cas finally got our heads out of our asses.”

He took Cas’s hand in his above the table so everyone could see.

Charlie gasped. “Does that mean…?”

“If you’re asking if he’s my boyfriend now…” Dean said, pausing for dramatic effect. “Then yes! Me and Cas are officially dating!”

Charlie squealed and jumped to her feet so she could run across the table and give them both a hug that resembled a choke-hold.

“I am so happy for you guys!” she sang, sounding on the verge of tears.

Cas chuckled, attempting to hug her back even though he was still seated. “I’m happy for us too,” he said, peeking around Charlie to grin at Dean.

In all honesty, Cas had never been so happy in his life.

* * *

When they awoke on Monday, the world was a sheet of ice. Cas peeked out the window, the courtyard in front of their dorm looked like Hoth and Noveria had a baby.

Checking his email, Cas was pleasantly surprised to find that all his classes for the day were cancelled. He pulled up the university website to see if it was just his professors of if it was university mandate, and there was no inclimate weather warning at the top of the page. Yeah, it would be just like Birchwood to not cancel all classes during a fucking blizzard. He seriously hoped Dean’s professors called off class too.

“Dean!” Cas whisper shouted, shaking his sleeping boyfriend by the shoulder.

“What, Cas?” Dean groaned, rolling over to get away from the freshman.

“It snowed and all my classes are canceled,” Cas said, tugging on Dean’s shoulder in an attempt to roll him back over. “Check and see if any of your professors emailed you!”

“Shit it snowed?” Dean asked, sitting up so he could look through the blinds behind their bed. “Shit! I hope it clears up by Wednesday. I really wanna take you to Hamilton…”

“I’m sure it will. Check your email!”

Dean grabbed his phone off the end table and opened his university email. “Yup. All my profs called off,” he said, putting his phone face down on the bedside table. “Can I go back to sleep now?”

“Sure,” Cas giggled, giving him a peck on the cheek. 

He laid down beside him and wrapped his arms around the snoring sophomore, pressing Dean's back against his chest. He fell back asleep within seconds.

Once again, they got up after breakfast was over, neither boy wanting to leave the comfort of their bed or their newfound relationship. It was noon before they made their way to Norman’s cafeteria and found Charlie, Gilda, and Garth already enjoying their lunch.

Dean sat down next to Garth and Cas sat beside him.

“I still can’t get over-” Charlie waved her hand between them in lieu of words. 

Dean looked down at his tray and chuckled. “Neither can I to be honest,” he said, looking up to meet Cas’s eyes.

The entire room seemed to melt away as Dean’s emerald green eyes gazed into Cas’s sky blue. Cas had never felt like this before in his life. The two of them were so absorbed in each other that Charlie had to slam her hand down on the table to get their attention.

“Earth to lovebirds! I asked if you wanted to defend the realm of Moondoor against White Walkers.”

Cas blinked twice at her. “...Huh?”

Charlie grinned. “Snowball fight, bitches!”

* * *

Shortly after lunch all their friends met at the Quad, but rather than fantasy garb they were all bundled up in winter gear. The setting this time was World War One, after a vote was taken about if Snowballs were the best defense against fantasy ice zombies. Charlie groaned about it, but in the end, agreed it made more sense.

Charlie, taking on the role as 'general' instead of queen, gave them all half an hour to create forts and stores for team Badass and team Ass-Kickers. Charlie decided to play on team Badass since they were now missing one player, Max.

After their thirty minutes were up, Charlie stood up while everyone hid behind their forts.

“Let the games begin in three… two… one!” she shouted as she dove behind a barrier.

Cas wasn’t sure which side threw the first shot, but soon, snowballs flew from all directions, raining down on both teams.

Whenever he had an opportunity, Cas popped out of his shelter and lobbed a ball of snow across the field. Although, as the game went on, he got more careless. Just as he stuck his head out to throw yet another ball, a glob of the stuff hit him in the face. Hard.

“NO! CAS!” Dean shouted dramatically, diving out of his cover to check on the ‘wounded man.’

Cas was lying down on his back, pretending to be on the brink of death.

When Dean reached him, he pulled Cas’s head into his lap. “Don’t you dare die on me!” he said, cradling Cas’s face in his hands.

“Dean…” Cas groaned, lifting a hand towards his boyfriend’s face.

Dean grabbed his hand, pressing it to his chest. “I’m right here, Cas.”

“I…”

“Yes?”

“I… Lo…” he whispered before going slack and closing his eyes.

“NO!” Dean shouted, dropping his hand to the ground, and Cas let it go limp like he saw in the movies. Dean fake cried into his ‘dead’ body.

“He’s gone, Dean,” Charlie told him. She sounded close as if she was crouched right behind them.

“I will avenge you,” Dean said, kissing the top of Cas’s head before laying him down on the snow.

Cas peeked between his lashes and saw Dean grab an armful of snowballs and rise to his feet.

“FOR CAS!” he shouted as he ran across the warzone between the ‘trenches.’

“FOR CAS!” the rest of the team echoed, doing the same.

Cas got to his knees to watch as his boyfriend and the rest of team Badass stormed the other team. Being out in the open, of course, made them easier targets and soon Jo and Krissy fell to the ground. Charlie got a couple shots in, ‘killing’ Kevin and Channing both before being taken out herself. Dean, however, took out all but Garth before succumbing to a snowball to the chest. 

He fell to his knees but got back up, Boromir style before getting pelted in the chest again. He died in a manner William Shatner would be proud of, clutching his chest and flailing on the ground, the words ‘Cas’ leaving his lips before he went still.

The entire group roared in applause.

It was the most fun Cas ever had.

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real poly and open relationships are consensual and agreed upon by all parties, otherwise it’s cheating. Period.
> 
> Noveria is a snowy planet in the game Mass Effect and if you don't know what Hoth is you should probably just leave :P


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's Day shenanigans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a couple chapters of fluff before some more angst. Enjoy.
> 
> Amber Run - [I Found](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yj6V_a1-EUA)
> 
> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://carasauruswrex.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/CasasaurusWrex) for more destiel fun and updates on fics!
> 
> Also, [Please Stay (I Loved You in the Darkness)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10435260/chapters/23040303) and [Find My Bluebird (Ramble On)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11535201/chapters/25897560) are my other works I'm currenlty splitting my time between. They are worth a read if you're enjoying this.

**Chapter 10**

Bet you're probably perfect for me

Bet you're made of gold

-Train, Wonder What You’re Doing For the Rest of Your LIfe

* * *

**Dean:**

On Valentine’s Day, Dean got up before seven in the morning to grab Cas breakfast before his boyfriend's eight AM class. When Dean's alarm went off, Cas groaned and rolled over but didn’t wake up. Dean figured he had somehow trained his brain to ignore all other alarms but his, and was grateful for the opportunity to slip away unseen. After taking a piss, he pulled on some sweatpants and a tee shirt and stepped into a pair of flip flops so he could at least be semi-presentable. He doubted they’d let him into the cafeteria in just his boxers anyway.

The hallway between the dorms and the cafeteria was cold. Dean could feel the chill seeping in through the window covered walls. The snow hadn’t melted yet, but it was okay because there wasn’t any new snow either. Operation Hamilton (Dean’s super romantic plan for the best evening ever with his boyfriend and love of his life) was still a go.

At the griddle, Dean asked for two short stacks of chocolate chip pancakes. He also grabbed a packet of hashbrowns to share - since two came in a pouch - and some syrup and ketchup in little to-go containers. He then got two large cappuccinos from one of those machines you found at gas stations, the kind with the sickly sweet coffee. He selected a red velvet cupcake flavor and a caramel macchiato. Hopefully, Cas would like at least one of them.

It ended up being more than his meal allotment and he had to use some of his Bulldog Cash but it was worth it. Cas deserved breakfast in bed for being the best boyfriend ever.

By the time he made his way back to their room, Cas was hitting snooze on his alarm. His adorable-as-fuck boyfriend squinted up at him as the light from the hallway pooled in. Quickly closing the door, he sat down at the edge of their bed.

“Morning sleepyhead,” Dean sang, plucking the phone off of Cas’s chest and opening his clock app. He cancelled the snooze and sat it down on the end table. “I got you breakfast!”

Cas looked down at the tray he’d smuggled out of the lunchroom that was currently resting in Dean’s lap. They weren’t supposed to leave with them, but people did it all the time. He’d return it later.

“What’s that?” Cas asked, pointing at one of the large coffees.

“That one’s caramel macchiato,” Dean said, remembering he punched the top of that one’s lid to say ‘decaf’ to tell them apart even though it was fully caffeinated. “And this one’s red velvet cupcake.”

Cas made a face at the flavor. “Sounds like something Gabe would drink,” he grunted as he sat up.

“Well, how about this, you can try them both and I’ll take whatever one you don’t want,” Dean offered.

Cas nodded and grabbed the red velvet one. He brought it to his nose and sniffed at the contents through the lid before taking a tentative sip. He shrugged at the flavor and took another swallow.

Just now noticing there was also food on the tray, he grabbed one of the stacks of pancakes Dean put on plates rather than to-go boxes and picked up a fork and knife. Dean handed him the syrup and his boyfriend poured the sticky contents over his fluffy cakes. Taking a bite, the freshman closed his eyes and made a noise of approval.

“There’s hashbrowns too,” Dean said, plucking one up and putting it on Cas's plate. “And ketchup.”

The other boy took one of the containers of ketchup and began dipping the fried potato patty into the red condiment.

Dean put his own hash brown on the his own pancake plate, and covered both shortstack and potato with syrup.

Cas made a face. “That’s disgusting,” he said, but took another bite of his own hash brown anyway.

“Nah,” Dean said with a shrug. “I pour syrup on everything.”

Cas snorted. “Yeah, okay Buddy the Elf.”

“Everything _breakfast_ , Cas!” Dean corrected him with an affectionate eye roll. “Don’t think I’m gonna start putting that shit on spaghetti.”

Cas chuckled before digging into his pancakes again. “I still say we should try that,” he said around his mouthful.

Dean rolled his eyes again. “Only you would think it’s gross to, I don’t know, dip french fries in a milkshake and then suggest _that_ idea.”

“Yeah, well, you think peanut butter and banana sandwiches are gross,” Cas said with a shrug. “And you actually _like_ licorice.”

“One, peanut butter and banana is a disgusting slimey mess,” Dean said, giving Cas a mock-angry look. “And two, I like red licorice. Like twizzlers. Nobody likes black licorice.”

“Twizzlers taste like plastic.”

“If people hated them, they wouldn’t sell them at movie theaters, Cas!”

“Whatever,” Cas shrugged again, shoving the last bit of pancake into his mouth. “I have to get ready for class.”

He leaned forward to give Dean a kiss. The other boy’s lips tasted like chocolate.

“Hurry back,” Dean groaned, kissing the boy again.

Trying to be suave, Cas awkwardly winked at him before sliding off the bed and disappearing into the bathroom.

He was such a dork and Dean loved every second of it.

* * *

Dean went to his engineering class at ten but skipped his two afternoon classes. Instead, he waited for Cas to come back from his final class of the day. Lucky bastard’s last MWF class was at eleven and he usually napped until they met for lunch at one. The plan was to surprise him by already having the covers warmed up for him. Maybe they’d do more than just cuddle. Dean was ready. Not for _sex_ sex but he wanted to explore the other man’s body. Cas was too sexy to resist.

When Cas unlocked their door, he dropped his bag as soon as he saw Dean sitting up in bed. He was under the covers, and naked from the waist up. Noticing his state of undress, Cas’s face morphed into a gummy smile.

“Hey!” he said as he closed the door. “You skipped class?”

Cas was smiling so Dean knew he wasn’t upset. He offered the freshman a small shrug and shifted so the covers slipped down, revealing his hip bones. When Cas noticed, his eyebrows rose to his hairline.

“Are you naked?” he asked and Dean chuckled.

“Yeah.”

“Oh,” Cas muttered, sitting on the edge of the bed. He began taking off his shoes. “I guess I should have figured, since it’s Valentine's Day and all, but I wasn’t sure since you wanted to wait.”

Dean frowned. “Do _you_ want to wait?”

“Of course not!” Cas said, turning to look at him. “I mean… As long as you’re ready…”

Dean looked down at the covers, suddenly embarrassed. “I’m ready for _some_ stuff but, uh, just not everything. Not yet.”

“Hey, look at me,” Cas said, as he gently touched Dean’s cheek. The sophomore looked up and was met with deep baby blues that he swore could see into his very soul. “I love you. I don’t care if we have sex today or next week or next year. I’ll wait as long as it takes.”

Dean sniffed to avoid the tears that were forming. How could he be _so_ in love with someone he’d only met a handful of months ago? It may seem crazy, but he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Cas. Not that he was planning to do anything about that just yet. But when he pictured his life five, ten, fifteen years from now, it was always Cas he imagined would be by his side through it all. And even though he didn’t like to think about it (what twenty-something does?), he wanted Cas even when they were old and grey.

“I love you too,” Dean said, leaning in to give him a kiss. He tasted like icy mint gum. Dean whispered into his lips, “More than you know.”

Cas moved so he was straddling Dean over the covers. “Is this okay?” he asked, looking shy.

In response, Dean pulled him closer and kissed him tenderly. The kiss began closed mouthed and chaste but soon became desperate as Dean began tugging on Cas’s hair and Cas ran his fingers down Dean’s spine. They drew each other closer, as if trying to morph into one another and Cas thrusted against Dean’s crotch. Even though all the layers it sent a shiver down his spine. Cas began kissing down his neck, his hand trailing down Dean’s chest towards his stomach.

“Cas…” Dean moaned when his boyfriend sucked a bruise into the soft flesh of his clavicle. It was all teeth and tongue, but it felt fantastic. Just the way Dean liked it.

Cas moved his hand lower until he was palming Dean’s hardened cock. “Is this okay?” he asked, his breath hot against Dean’s chest.

“Yeah,’ Dean gulped. He didn’t know why he was so nervous, it was just Cas. But then again, they hadn’t even been dating for a week yet. Which was crazy because he and Cas just _fit_. They had been hovering in a place between friends and lovers ever since that first weekend they hung out, and Dean was just too stupid to notice.

He didn’t have much time to think on that, however, because Cas’s hand slipped down beneath the covers as he took Dean in his palm. He began pumping his fist up and down while simultaneously sucking one of Dean’s hardened nipples into his mouth. He flicked his tongue around the pink bud and Dean gasped at the sensation. Cas then drug his thumb through the pre-cum forming at the tip of Dean’s penis and slicked up his shaft. The combination of attention to more than one region of Dean’s body soon became too much, especially when Cas drug his teeth over Dean’s sensitive nipple. Dean thrust his hips in time with Cas’s ministrations and he felt his balls tighten and his vision become blurry.

“Cas… gonna…” was all he got out before he was coming under the covers, shooting onto Cas’s fist and the sheets.

Cas unlatched himself from Dean’s pectoral and kissed him sweetly before going to the sink and washing his hands. He wet a washcloth and wiped Dean down with the warm rag. He then pulled the covers back and tossed them over the side of the bed. Yeah, they’d have to wash those. But it was so worth it.

Cas sat back down on the bed, and only then did Dean realize he was still fully clothed. Dean kneeled and moved towards him, putting his arms around his waist and drawing him closer.

“You’re a fucking angel, you know that right?” he said to his boyfriend.

Cas chuckled and kissed him again, putting his head on Dean’s forehead. He seemed to be breathing heavy in spite of his calm demeanor. He was probably trying to ignore the boner that was tenting his pants and currently pressing into Dean’s thigh.

Dean kissed his lips once before making his way down his jaw and neck, leaving a mark of his own. He began tugging on Cas’s shirt, feeling the smooth, toned skin underneath and Cas reached down to slip the garment over his head, revealing those hip bones Dean was so obsessed with. The sophomore sank lower as he began kissing down the other boy’s chest, mouthing at a freckle above his nipple. When he made his way to the glorious divet of his hips, he sucked a bruise into the tender flesh. Cas drew in a breath and threw his head back, quivering as he knelt.

Dean chuckled lightly at the reaction before he reached for his boyfriend’s jeans. He unbuttoned and unzipped the offending garment that separates him from what he knew was sure to be a beautiful sight. As he slipped Cas’s boxers down past his hips and ass, he was rewarded with a wonderfly flushed cock bobbing towards the other man’s stomach. Dean licked his lips before bending over and sucking the head into his mouth.

He waited there for a moment, just in case Cas decided to push him away, but his boyfriend dug his hands into Dean’s hair, prompting him to swallow the whole thing down in one solid movement. He hollowed out his cheeks and began bobbing up and down, saliva collecting at his chin. Cas groaned as Dean rose to swirl his tongue around his slit, and bucked his hips slightly, not enough to choke Dean, but just enough to make him feel the weight of Cas’s heavy cock near the back of his throat. He swallowed around it and Cas moaned again, tugging on Dean’s hair. Despite the tears forming at the corner of his eyes, Dean secretly begged for more. It was so deliciously toeing the line between pain and pleasure and _that_ was something Dean had never tried before.

He tucked those thoughts away for another time and ran the flat of his tongue up the vain and lapped the salty pre-cum from the tip before sinking back down and swallowing down to the root.

“Dean… I-I…” Cas began to say when Dean repeated the action once more.

Dean swallowed around his cock again and soon his boyfriend was coming down the back of his throat. He lapped it all up, relishing in the bitter flavor that was uniquely Cas. When his dick began to soften and Cas tugged him away from his now-oversensitive member, Dean kissed up his stomach and chest before meeting his lips again.

They both collapsed on the bed and layed down so they were looking into each other’s eyes. Cas grinned at him and Dean grinned back, pulling his boyfriend - his angel, the love of his life - close against his chest. Soon, the two of them were snoring lightly.

As it turned out, Cas got his nap after all.

* * *

After giving Cas what was probably the best blow job of his life, if Dean did say so himself, they took a cab - not a bus - to a hibachi place in the city. Cas had mentioned never having been before, so Dean decided to get them reservations for four o’clock. Too early for dinner, but considering their show started at seven and they had to take another cab to get there, he thought it might be best if they ate early. Not only that, but hibachi was kinda a show in itself and the whole event took a hell of a long time. That, and it was Valentines Day so of course the place ran out of the prime reservation sports fairly early.

Either way, Cas didn’t complain a he sat beside Dean in the cab. Dean actually called Uber ahead of time to request a driver with a semi decent vehicle. Dean would have gotten him a limo, but he thought that might be a little much and too high school prom-ish. Instead, a guy in a black 2015 Chevy Impala had pulled up. At first, Dean cringed at the insult to his dad’s beloved car, but he quickly got over it as Cas held his hand in the back. He could tell his boyfriend was excited, and that made Dean happy. He really wanted their first holiday as a couple to be something to remember.

When they arrived at the restaurant, Dean put a finger up, singling Cas to wait a moment while he got out of the car and ran around to open Cas’s door.

Cas stepped out and smiled at Dean. “You didn’t have to do that,” he said, as Dean reached down to take his hand.

Dean casually shrugged. “Wanted to. I’ve… Well I’ve never really had a real relationship before…” he said, trailing off and looking away.

Cas kissed his cheek. “I’m not complaining. I kinda like it,” the freshman said as he and Dean approached the doors of the restaurant. “I’ve never really been doted on before.”

That made Dean smile. “Well, you better get used to it,” he told Cas, opening the door for him.

They walked to the hostess and Dean gave her his name. After confirming they had a reservation, she directed them to a table where a few other couples were already seated. There was an older, graying couple, two ladies who looked like they were in their mid to late thirties, and a couple around their own age.

Cas gave Dean a skeptical look before taking a set. He leaned over to whisper in Dean’s ear, “I didn’t realize we’d be sharing a table…”

“That’s part of the fun. You’ll see,” Dean assured him.

After a waitress took their drink and food orders, a guy in his late twenties came up to the grill.

“Hey everybody! I’m Jackson, I’ll be your cook for the evening,” the man said as he began pulling supplies out from under the grill.

He spun the eggs as he sat them to the side and drew a picture with the oil before lighting the grill. The moon and stars he’d drawn lit up in flame, and Dean felt a rush of heat hit his face. Cas clapped and the other people at the table oohed and ahhed. Yeah, that part was always pretty cool. Dean looked at Cas, raising his eyebrows in a silent question. But Cas wasn’t looking at him. In fact, he didn’t even notice when his drink was sat down in front of him. He was too busy watching their cook balancing eggs on his spatula before tossing them up into the air and cracking them with the kitchen tool’s edge.

When their miso soup and ginger salads were set down in front of them, Cas pushed his spoon around, but never brought the broth to his mouth. He just continued to watch the show. Taking delite as the cook made the rice mounds into hearts and created an onion volcano with oil and a lighter. Their cook began tossing vegetables into people’s mouths, Cas got the giggles. Dean just couldn’t seem to catch the zucchini the guy was tossing his way. The cook, of course, skipped them when he began squirting sake down customer’s throats, which was okay because there was always next year. Even so, Cas watched the entire ordeal with his jaw hanging loose. Sure, all hibachi places pretty much had the same routine, one that Dean had seen at least a couple times in his life, but the first time was always special. Dean was kind of jealous of Cas for being able to go into this thing fresh, with no expectations. He still had fun, of course, but watching his boyfriend marvel at the display in front of him made it all worth it. The glee in Cas’s eyes was something to behold.

* * *

After dinner, they took another Uber to the theatre and took their seats up in the balcony after getting help from one of the ushers. Now, this was an experience Cas was familiar with, having seen Phantom of the Opera with Balthazar. Dean, unfortunately, had never been to the theatre. He really loved Rent though, secretly, and was dying to see Wicked when it came to town next season.

Cas didn’t even seem to mind that they didn’t have prime seats. He was just really happy to be seeing another Broadway show.

At intermission, Cas excused himself to use the restroom so Dean took the opportunity to text Sam.

_Dean: You and Sarah enjoying yourselves ;)_

Sam texted back almost instantly.

_Sam: Actually, we broke up. I’m with Amelia now._

_Sam: Her dog is the coolest!!!_

Dean chuckled to himself. Of course the dog was a selling point for his little bro. The kid had _always_ wanted one, but their father never let him.

_Dean: Sounds like a catch (pun intended)_

Sam sent him back the rolling eyes emoji followed by a second message.

_Sam: Yeah… So you seeinging anyone? Just wondering._

Dean knew his baby brother was just curious as to what he was up to, but Sam had no idea Dean dated men. He never knew about Max and Dean hadn’t exactly told him about Cas. At least not yet. It wasn’t as if he thought his little brother would reject him or anything, you just never know. And Dean knew that John was kind of homophobic. If somehow the information that Dean was bi got back to John… Dean shuttered at the thought.

_Dean: Nope. Single af._

_Sam: :( sorry to hear that. I’m sure you’ll find somebody._

Dean frowned down at his phone as Cas came back and sat down beside him. His boyfriend kissed him on the cheek.

“I’m having a really great day, Dean. I want you to know that,” the other boy said with sincerity.

Dean smiled back at him, trying to calm the sick feeling in his stomach. He didn’t like lying about Cas. Not one bit.

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Typical hibachi footage for someone who's never been](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBAUU2G_g3Y)
> 
> Every hibachi places is a LITTLE different but I’m pretty sure they all have a class they take or something. Some do a train instead of a volcano but this is supposed to be based on my first college valentines day when me and my boyfriend went (I wasn’t vegan back then). Some also do gags instead of tossing stuff into people’s mouths. They almost always make jokes though. Like, my guy dropped one of his eggs and he said ‘Oh, bad chicken,” and it was REALLY funny (I guess you’d have to have been there lol).
> 
> I’ve been to see Phantom of the Opera, Wicked, and Rent but I have yet to see Hamilton. It is next on my list.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spring Break! And yet another cliffhanger because I can't help myself ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Copious amounts of food are eaten in this chapter. 
> 
> Xtra long! Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Also, smut ahead ;)

**Chapter 11**

_Of all the girls and boys who look my way_  
_Ain't nobody ever hit me this way_  
_So won't you come back with me_  
_And lay with me a while_  
  
_I'm gonna wrestle you out of them clothes,_  
_And leave the beautiful body exposed,_  
_And you can have my heart and my soul and my body_ _  
_ Oh, be mine

Steve Grand - All-American Boy

* * *

  **Cas:**

The next month of Cas’s life was filled with movies, video games - Dean had yet to play Red Dead Redemption, which was surprising considering his love/obsession of cowboys - and ‘dates’ where he and Dean brought food back to their room for a romantic night in (real dates were too expensive atm but Cas didn’t mind these intimate moments alone), and, during the warmer weekends, Moondoor.

Part of their budgeting was due to the ‘super secret’ spring break trip to Florida Dean was planning. Cas knew his boyfriend had planned on taking him to Disney ever since the freshman mentioned never having been. Dean tried to keep it a secret, but Cas could see past the ruse. Especially when they spent a whole week rewatching 80s and 90s animated classics.

What did surprise Cas, however, was when Dean pulled up, not in Kevin or Channing’s car as he expected, but in John Winchester’s Chevy Impala. The sophomore had instructed Cas to wait on the curb with their bags _just_ so he could show off, Cas realized. He was a bit suspicious when Dean said he’d go Kevin’s apartment to pick up the car after class _without Cas._ Now he understood. His boyfriend was such an attention whore.

Dean rolled down the window, grinning big.

“How’d you manage to pull that off?” Cas asked as Dean got out of the car to unlock the trunk. Nirvana was blaring from what appeared to be an old school cassette player.

Dean threw his own bag in the spacious trunk and Cas shucked his on top and slammed the lid closed.

“Sam and Dad did an exchange,” Dean explained. “Dad drove up in the Impala and Sam followed in his brand new, well new to him, Dodge Neon. Once they got here, Dad handed me the keys and drove back in Sam’s car. When I told him I was going to Disney he kinda insisted I take a car I was insured on.” His boyfriend shrugged, like it wasn’t really a big deal.

Cas smiled, trailing his fingers over the smooth frame of the classic muscle car, before getting into the passenger seat.

Suddenly, something occurred to him. “Wait… You said they drove back?” he asked, looking at Dean curiously.

“Yeah, like ten minutes ago.”

Cas was confused. “You didn’t want to get lunch or something with them before they left?”

“Nah, Dad has to work in the morning so…”

Now, that just didn’t make any sense. Why wouldn't they at least stay for half an hour to eat? Plus, the trip to Kansas wasn't exactly _short_ by any means.

“So they just, what, drove ten hours here and then ten hours back, _a twenty hour trip,_ in one day? Why would they do that?” Cas asked skeptically.

Dean shrugged, putting on a pair of aviators. “I dunno, because they love me?” he said as he pulled away from the curb.

Cas pouted. “Now that we’re dating you’d think they would have at least said hi…”

“I’m sorry, baby,” Dean said, putting his hand on Cas’s thigh. “There’s always next time.”

“Yeah, I suppose,” Cas said before another thought popped into his head. “Are we driving straight through or are we stopping for the night?”

He knew Dean’s fear of planes was what made the borrowing of a car essential (that and the fact that plane tickets were _expensive as fuck_ ) but he had no real desire to be in a car for seventeen hours, even if his travelling partner was the love of his life. Not to mention driving up mountains in the dark with little to no sleep was precarious as hell.

“Nah, we’re gonna stop somewhere,” Dean said to much Cas’s relief. “So long as you don’t mind shitty motels.”

Honestly, they could sleep in the backseat of the car for all Cas minded, so long as he fell asleep next to Dean.

* * *

They decided to stop in Nashville for the night. The cheapest motel they could find was an Americas Best Value Inn for forty-nine dollars a night. It was a two-star hotel they could book online. Cas was thankful they didn’t stay at those run down places people stayed at on television, with questionable carpet stains and sheets one wouldn't want to take a blacklight to. Because of this, he even forgave it for it’s atrocious grammar ("America’s is possessive, Dean!") because it would be the first time he and his boyfriend got to share a _real_ bed rather than two twin beds shoved together.

Cas set down his bag and plopped, face first, down onto the bed.

“I hate road trips,” Cas grumbled and he felt the bed shift under Dean’s weight as he sat down beside him.

“Ooh, babe, that’s strike one,” Dean kid as he reached out to rub Cas’s back.

Cas arched into the touch and sighed, “Maybe I can make it up to you.”

Dean continued rubbing Cas’s back for a couple of minutes, each man enjoying the casual carefree feeling, when Cas felt Dean’s hot breath on the back of his neck.

“Maybe we can check out the jacuzzi,” he whispered before kissing Cas behind the ear.

“What’s the difference between a hot tub and a jacuzzi?” Cas asked, breathlessly.

“Dunno. But the website called it a jacuzzi so…”

“So I think we should check it out,” Cas said, rolling over to look up at his boyfriend.

Cas kissed the other man sweetly before getting up to grab his swim trunks from his suitcase. He and Dean stripped, trying to keep their hands off of one another but failing miserably.

Cas playfully swatted Dean’s hand away saying, “Did you want to do this thing or not?”

“Is the thing you? Because yes, I would like that very much,” Dean answered and Cas rolled his eyes.

Eventually, however, the boys did make their way down to the pool. At the jacuzzi, Dean flipped a switch on the wall and the still water immediately began to bubble up. Kicking off their flip flops, the two of them sank down into the warm water.

“Come m’ere you,” Dean said, pulling Cas to him so that he was straddling the sophomore.

From his lap, Cas began to kiss Dean, tenderly at first but it soon he took Dean’s swollen bottom lip between his teeth and the other man growled tightening his grip around Cas’s waist. Cas rocked his hips, rubbing his hard groin against Dean’s and let out a groan.

“We should… go back to the room…” Cas panted. “Coming down here was… not your best idea.”

Dean smirked against Cas’s lips and reached his hand under the warm bubbling water to palm Cas’s cock over his swim trunks. His member was buoyantly floating towards his stomach and gave a little twitch at the contact.

“Dean! Someone might walk in!” Cas scolded, pulling back to look at the flushed face of his boyfriend.

“So?”

“So? So I’m not an _exhibitinist!”_ Cas gasped.

Dean chuckled. “Babe, we’re the only people here. Nobody’s gonna see.”

He continued palming at Cas’s erection, causing the freshman to buck his hips. Cas looked around nervously, but when Dean slipped his hand down Cas’s trunks, all Cas could think was _'Yes! Yes! Want!'_ and he soon forgot about his fears of a voyeur walking in on them. The warm water provided the perfect amount of slickness, Dean’s hand gliding easily up and down his shaft. He allowed Dean to slip him out of his trunks, exposing his cock to the open. It was a good thing the pool room didn’t have a camera, otherwise they’d probably be kicked out. Cas’s heart rate increased, not with fear but with excitement. Maybe the threat of getting caught was the whole point. Maybe the experience was made all the more arousing because there was an element of danger.

He didn’t have time to ponder this long though, because Dean pulled his own throbbing cock from his swim trunks and took himself and Cas in one hand, their erections pressing together oh so deliciously.

Cas groaned into Dean's mouth as their kisses became sloppy. Dean broke free from his lips and trailed wet kisses down Cas's jaw.

"I've... always... wanted to do this," Dean admitted breathlessly as he dragged his teeth down Cas's neck.

"Dean..." Cas groaned.

"Come for me baby," Dean said, and Cas felt his balls tighten. "Come for me right here where anyone could see."

Despite what Cas said about not being an exhibitionist, he came into the bubbly water of the jacuzzi, biting into Dean's shoulder as he did, surley leaving a mark. This caused Dean to go over he edge as well, shouting Cas's name like a prayer. It echoed into the empty pool room.

Sated, Cas began to drift to sleep, right there in the cum filled water. He _really_ felt bad for whoever had to clean the jacuzzi. They’d probably have to empty the whole thing. He smirked against Dean’s shoulder.

“We can’t sleep here baby,” Dean said, nudging him. “Come on, you’re _way_ too heavy to carry.”

“Hey,” Cas grumbled. “We’re like the same size.”

“Exactly, Cas, have you ever tried to pick up a six foot tall man who’s like all thigh muscle?” Dean asked and Cas groaned in response. “Yeah, that’s right. Didn’t think so… Come on, baby, the bed’ll be much more comfy.”

Cas reluctantly peeled himself off of Dean and stepped out into the chili air. The hot tub was just so warm. He almost immediately began to shiver, but Dean quickly came to his rescue, throwing a towel over his shoulders. Dripping wet and flip flops smacking loudly with every step, the two of them made their way back to the room. Cas was about to fall onto the bed when Dean put his arms around him, pulling him so that his back was pressed against the other boy’s chest.

“Cas, you’re all wet,” Dean said with a small chuckle. “Let’s at least get you out of your swimsuit first.”

Grumbling, Cas peeled the wet material off of it, cursing when it got stuck on his thighs on the way down. _Why are these things always so much harder to get off than they are to get on?_ he blearily thought. Once the suit was around his ankles, he kicked it across the room and let Dean dry him off with the towel. Taking the pajama pants Dean was offering him, he clumsily stepped into each leg and pulled them up to his hips. At long last, Dean put his hand between Cas’s shoulder blades and directed him towards the bed, pulling the covers back for him and helping him lay down. Cas was asleep before his head even touched the pillow.

The next morning they had some complimentary breakfast before checking out. Cas made oatmeal with sliced bananas and Dean ate waffles with sausage links. The coffee was barely drinkable, but that didn’t stop Cas from having a second cup. At check out, if the staff had already found the jacuzzi surprise, they didn’t mention it as they thanked them for their stay and bid them goodbye.

* * *

The drive to Orlando was pleasant, the Smoky Mountains were gorgeous. Though they more resembled large hills than they did the images of the Rocky Mountains out West. Cas had never seen those either, but he figured the Appalachians were simply older and more eroded than their desert counterparts.

Once they made it to Orlando, Dean pulled into a motel called the I-Drive Grand Resort and Suites. It had horrible reviews online but it was cheap at only forty-two dollars a night. Since they planned on staying here for the next week, cheap was all they could really afford. After they checked in, Dean unlocked their room and they were met with the ugliest clashing carpet and bedspread.

“This might be the gayest thing I’ve ever said, but this room is fucking hideous,” Cas told him, before taking a seat on the maroon, orange, and red paisley comforter.

Dean nodded, eyeing the red and orange checkered carpet with disgust. “Yeah, it’s fugly as fuck,” he agreed. “Hey, at least they have one of those indoor/outdoor pools.”

Cas tilted his head. “What’s that?”

Dean simply smiled at him and unzipped Cas’s suitcase, tossing his swim trunks at him.

"Oh, you'll see," he said with a smirk.

The indoor/outdoor pool was exactly how it sounded. Half the pool was indoors and the other half was outdoors separated by a small opening one could swim though in order to access both of the pool areas. Besides being a little grimey and full of dying potted plants, the pool wasn't that bad.

He and Dean splashed around trying to dunk one another, behaving like children just because they could. Rough play quickly turned into something else as Cas wrapped his legs around Dean's waist. They kissed against the side of the pool, not realizing they were being watched in the surveillance cameras. Soon, the hotel manager came down to tell them the pool was closing for the evening, but both of them knew he probably just wanted to put a stop to their PDA.

Back at their room, Cas asked about ordering room service and Dean burst out laughing.

“Dude, we’re lucky this place has a microwave,” he said, wiping tears from his eyes. “Tell you what, there was that little convenience area in the lobby, I’ll see if they have anything besides chips and candy down there.” Dean chuckled and muttered “room service” to himself before leaving Cas alone in the maroon nightmare that was their motel room.

When Dean returned he held up two Cup-O-Noodles in the air in triumph. Cas rolled his eyes dramatically and Dean dropped the noodles on the counter before joining Cas on the bed.

“What? Is the food I bring home for you suddenly not good enough?” Dean teased, poking Cas in the side.

It was a little know fact that Castiel Novak was extremely extremely ticklish. Learning this quickly, Dean soon began attacking Cas with his fingers, trying to slip up towards his pits.

"Dean! Dean stop!" Cas begged, trying to wiggle away from his prying fingers.

The sophomore smirked. "What you gonna do about it Cas? Huh?" he asked as he continued his assault.

Dean pinned Cas's arms down above his head and Cas accidentally kneed him in the groin. That, at least, got the other boy to stop his torture.

Cas gaped, "Oh my god, Dean I am am _so_ sorry!" and put his hand over his mouth.

In a high falsetto, Dean said, "Nah, Cas, it's fine," making the freshman laugh.

Once he recovered, Dean filled both noodle cups with water and stuck them in the microwave, flopping down on the bed while they cooked. He plucked the remote off the end table and began flipping through channels, eventually stopping on some Spanish language soap opera. Even though neither of them understood a word of what was going on, the two of them enjoyed their meals to the overly dramatic foreign-language television epic. At one point, a weeping woman pulled a gun from her purse and pointed it at who Cas had previously thought was her daughter, but came to realize was actually some sort of romantic rival, or so he hopped. They were even graced with a death scene in the following episode that would make even William Shatner roll his eyes. 

The moths outside their window cast an eerie shadow as they repeatedly hit the bulb of the streetlamp, but the light was not enough of a distraction to keep Cas and Dean from falling asleep in each other’s arms, Telenova luling them to sleep.

* * *

It rained the next day, but Cas didn’t let a little wet weather ruin his vacation. He and Dean took a cab to NYPD Pizza (which didn’t make sense to Cas because they were in _Florida_ not New York but Dean insisted it was just a cool name).

They ordered garlic knots while they decided on pizza and Dean sighed, looking down at the menu.

“Madison Square Garden pizza… Still looking for shit for Sammy to eat even though he’s like a day’s drive away…” the sophomore said with a frown.

It warmed Cas’s heart to know that Dean cared about his little brother even when he wasn't around.

“Well, maybe we can all take vacation together next year,” Cas suggested. “He’d have to get his own room of course.” He shrugged, looking up at Dean over the menu.

Dean hummed and put his menu down. “I’m still gonna get us a large Manhattan Meat Lovers,” he said with a chuckle. 

Cas frowned. That sounded entirely too greasy. “Why don’t you get a medium so I can get the Brooklyn Buffalo Chicken pizza for myself?”

“Deal.”

The pizza turned out to be delicious, completely deserving of all the great Yelp reviews and almost five-star rating. It was definitely one of those places you just had to check out if you were in Orlando.

Back at the motel, they enjoyed a shower together and watched anime on Dean's phone. Despite the tiny screen and constant need to keep the phone plugged into the wall, it was a really great lazy day.

* * *

 The following morning, Cas sent a quick prayer to Walt Disney that Monday had clear skies. He’d never been to Disney World, but Dean insisted the experience was ‘so worth it’ and he bought them one day value tickets (though they were still over $100 a person!).

Dean teased Cas about their tickets having Mickey and Minnie on them, saying that it was ‘rather appropriate’ that Cas was handed the polka dot bow wearing mouse.

“What is _that_ supposed to mean?” Cas asked, narrowing his eyes at his boyfriend.

Dean kissed him on the cheek. “I’m just teasing you babe,” he insisted, grinning widely.

Cas hardly had time to be mad at Dean before the magic of the Happiest Place on Earth took hold. The streets of Disney World were lined with shop after shop, all looking like something straight out of the opening of Beauty and the Beast. Cas spun around, his mouth agape and his eyes trained towards the signature castle in the distance.

Dean chuckled. “Welcome to Main Street USA,” he said, taking Cas’s hand before pulling up the Disney World app on his phone. “Says here you can get a free souvenir button at guest services if it’s your birthday, honeymoon, or your first time here… We should get you one.”

“What, and look like a total noob,” Cas scoffed. “Isn’t that the Disney equivalent of wearing your lanyard around your neck?”

“Yeah, probably,” Dean said with a smirk. “Or we could just be extra touristy and take cutsie selfies like the lovesick idiots we are.”

True to his word, Dean guided Cas by the hand to Cinderella's castle. At the base of it, they kissed and took a selfie capturing the moment. It was a good thing Disney was pro-LGBT. Unlike their experience at the motel pool, none of the staff at the park had anything to say about the two boy's public displays.

Guiding him by the small of his back, Dean ushered Cas away from the castle.

“What you wanna do first?” the sophomore asked as he and Cas made their way towards the rest of the park.

Cas wasn't sure. “What’s the best ride here?” he asked.

“That’d be Space Mountain… But there’s also Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean.”

Now that got Cas excited. “Pirates of the Caribbean!? Like the movie!?”

“Nah, man, the movie was based _on the ride_. Not the other way around.”

Cas was skeptical. “You mean to tell me they made _five movies_ based off of a ride?”

“Yup. _And_ they redid it to make it all Jack Sparrowie.”

Cas blushed, remembering how Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow was his first celebrity crush, despite being old enough to be his father (he was _forty_ in the first movie!). This was long before the internet’s ‘daddy obsession.’ The first movie might’ve came out when he was four years old, but he certainly didn't see the films until he was at least twelve, right before the fourth movie came out. The skeletons in the first movie probably would have been way to scary for Cas had he been any younger. Not that he really enjoyed the fourth one, mind you. The first movie would always be his favorite, followed by two and three. Five wasn't all that bad, all things considered, he just hoped they didn’t plan on making any _more,_ though knowing Disney…

Cas snapped out of his trance to the sound of Dean’s voice. He realized they were already waiting in line for the ride. He shook his head, clearing it of the seven year old memories. It was 2018, not 2011.

“Crowley?” Dean asked, tapping the shoulder of a short stocky boy with slick black, though slightly greasy, hair.

“Crowley? _As in Fergus from varsity soccer?”_ Cas asked in a daze.

“Dean!” the boy said, turning around to face the sophomore. He had a British accent, which Cas did _not_ expect. “What has it been? Two years? It’s a small world, or so they say.”

Dean smiled cheekily. “Is your mom still hot?” he asked, earning a warning glance from Cas. “What! She was! She had him when she was, like, sixteen or some shit. Super milf.”

“She was eighteen for you information,” Crowley growled. “Apparently I was conceved during some sort of pagan orgie. My mother was a whore, but she certainly wasn’t one of the girls on Sixteen and Pregnant.”

Cas just stared at the other boy, his mouth hanging open. So _this_ was Crowley? The kid Dean made out with under the bleachers.

“Uh…” was all Cas managed to say.

“Shit, sorry,” Dean said, putting his arm around Cas’s waist to draw him near. “Crowley, this is my, uh, boyfriend, Cas.”

“Boyfriend?” Crowley asked, eyeing Cas up and down. “I see you’ve gotten over your little identity crisis.”

Dean blushed, suddenly very interested in examining the hem of his shirt. Cas tilted his head, looking at his boyfriend's curious reaction. But then it dawned on him.

“It wasn’t Crowley who didn’t want a serious relationship, was it?” he asked and Dean shook his head, looking embarrassed.

Crowley snorted. “God, no, I was practically head over heels for the charming Mr. Winchester,” he said, with a sigh. “Unfortunately, Dean was practically in Narnia he was so far in the closet.”

“And your lab partner, what was his name? Aaron?” Cas asked, trying to make eye contact with Dean.

When Dean didn’t answer, Crowley stepped in to explain, “Poor Aaron asked Dean to prom, very publically I might add, and our little example of toxic masculinity here turned him down in front of all his jock buddies. What was it you said, Dean? ‘I’m not a fag?’ You got detention for that one, didn’t you?”

“What?” Cas gasped, looking at his boyfriend. Dean was the last person he expected to use the offensive 'f-word' so casually.

Dean finally met Cas’s eyes, his emerald greens glossy with tears. “That was a long time ago… I-I’ve changed, Cas. That’s not me anymore. I swear… I was an asshole back then, but I didn’t mean it. I-I was just scared,” Dean said, taking a deep breath. “A-after Benny I just-”

“Wait, what really happened with Benny?” Cas asked, not liking that Dean had lied to him when they discussed their past relationships. Not that any of these people had actually _dated_ Dean but still. The story that Dean originally told him was turning out to be less truthful than Cas was lead to believe.

Dean sighed and put his hands in his pockets. They moved up with the line and Dean leaned against the guard rail.

“Before we moved to Lebanon, my dad kinda… drifted for a while. I went to about eight or nine elementary schools and four middle schools. Finally, once we moved to Lebanon I was able to stay at the same high school all four years… But, uh, right before we left New Orleans, I, uh, I tried to kiss Benny. He-he basically freaked out on me and, well, left me alone in the park. Never got to say goodbye.”

“Oh Dean…” Cas said, reaching down to grab his hand. He kissed the back of it tenderly. “I’m so sorry you’ve experienced so much heartbreak.”

“You’re not mad?” Dean asked, his eyes wide and full of hope.

Cas shook his head. “No, of course not. That was a long time ago, Dean. You’ve come a long way since then.”

Dean pulled Cas towards him, burying his face in the crook of his neck. “I don’t deserve you,” he whispered into his ear. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Dean,” Cas said, pulling away slightly to give Dean a kiss on the lips.

“Ugh,” Crowley groaned beside them. “What about _bloody lines_ makes people think inappropriate amounts of PDA are suddenly okay?”

* * *

Crowley rode with them on Pirates of the Caribbean and even joined them in line for Haunted Mansion before leaving to go meet up with his so called ‘coaster junkie’ friends.

“So, I’m guessing you don’t want to go on Space Mountain with us?” Dean teased and Crowley made a face before politely declining.

After Space Mountain, they rode a few other rides before they stopped at Casey’s Corner for a late lunch or “linner” as Dean called it. Cas got a chili cheese dog and Dean got some monstrosity called the mac and cheese dog. For dessert, they stopped at the Plaza Ice Cream Parlor and split some abomination called a doughnut sundae.

They watched the parade before the park closed, Dean’s arm never leaving Cas’s hip. He truly had come a long way since high school, Cas thought as he and Dean kissed under the light of the fireworks. Cas was glad Crowley dragged the truth out of Dean. It only made him more proud of the amazing man his boyfriend had become.

* * *

On Wednesday, Cas and Dean stayed in their motel watching a medical drama Dean enjoyed called Doctor Sexy, only leaving to grab Taco Bell from up the road.

Thursday they made a trip to the NASA museum at Cas’s request, though tickets were fifty bucks a piece. It was too bad there wasn’t a shuttle launch scheduled for while they were in the state, that would have been _really_ fun to see. Dean didn't seem as into it as Cas did but he looked at Cas with fondness every time he 'nerded out' about anything space related. Cas was entirely convinced he had the best most patient boyfriend on the planet. He was unsure what he ever did to deserve someone as wonderful as Dean. All vacation, a permanent smile was etched to both of their faces. It was the happiest Cas had ever been in his life. 

They ate at Five Guys on their way back to the hotel. Dean insisted they get a small fry to split between them, rather than a fry each, and he was right. Their small was easily the same size as any other restaurant’s large, and overflowed into the bag. Apparently they were pretty famously known for their lack of portion control, and autotuned YouTube review.

By Friday, Dean’s bank account was running low so they decided to spend the day at the beach. Cas had never seen the ocean before and was surprised at just how cold the water was this time of year. The breeze coming off the beach made him shiver, but Dean's warm arm around him helped chill him from the cold. The beach, however, was not as LGBT friendly as Disney was, but Dean simply flipped off anyone who gave them a disapproving look. It was a good thing they were both at least six foot and pretty muscled otherwise Cas was sure they would have been harassed at least once.

They ate lunch at some dockside shack and got burgers and cheesy stuffed shrimp to share and after lunch they walked to a surf shack to check out how much it would cost to rent some boards, but it was way too expensive. So instead, Dean bought them cheap foam boogie boards.

The ocean spray was as cold as Cas expected, but he soon got used to it as he tried desperately to cling to the boogie board as he and Dean attempted to ride the waves. At one point, Cas was dragged under the water by the force of an especially large one and he swallowed a lungful of seawater. Thankfully, Dean was able to pull his head above water, hitting the heel of his palm against Cas’s back as he sputtered and gagged. The saltwater was _much_ saltier than Cas expected and tasted mildly like seaweed and fish. He tried not to think about the fact that animals defecated in the water as he allowed Dean to grab his hand and lay him down on the towels they set up on the dry sandy beach.

They laid out on the beach until Cas was sure Dean would turn into one giant freckle. After that, they went for a walk, taking pictures of the urban decay and wildlife (including one of the weirdest bird's either of them had ever seen. It was probably a crane, but it's neck was shaped like a staircase. It didn't even look real!).

Around sunset, Cas and Dean stumbled into a restaurant on a dock they were exploring. The inside of this seemingly hole in the wall eatery was much much fancier than either of them expected, with it’s white tablecloths and multiple forks. Dean grabbed Cas’s hand, about to usher him out, when the hostess came up to them and asked them if they wanted a table for two.

Cas looked down at the swim trunks and tee shirts they were both wearing and felt extraordinarily underdressed, but Dean shrugged and allowed the woman to lead them to a secluded candlelit table.

After taking their drink orders, waters for both of them, their waitress left them to peruse the menu.

When Cas saw the prices, however, he leaned over the table to whisper, _“Dean, what are we doing here? There is no way we can afford this place.”_

But Dean casually brushed off the complaint. “It’s cool, Cas. We can just split something,” he said with a cocky smirk.

When their waitress came back Dean ordered a crab cake appetizer and crab legs for them to split. When he asked her to bring out a second plate for the crab legs, the woman’s waxy smile faltered, but she quickly recovered, telling them ‘right away sirs’ before excusing herself to put in their order.

As soon as the two of them polished off the surprisingly good crab cakes, their waitress came back with two small shot glasses filled with what appeared to be some sort of smoothie, perfectly balanced on a silver platter. She placed the tiney beverages down in front of them saying, “Strawberry soup to cleanse the palate.”

Cas raised an eyebrow at Dean who shrugged and downed his ‘soup’ like it was a shot of whiskey. Cas did the same. Again, their waitress’s smile faltered and Cas could have sworn he saw her eye twitch, but she didn’t say a word.

To top off the evening, Dean dumped the dish of garlic butter all down his swim trunks. Their waitress brought them a wet towel, but it didn’t really do anything. Apparently oil is a bitch to get out.

* * *

  **Dean:**

When they got back to the motel, Dean stripped out of his butter soaked swim trunks and bent over to fish a pair of sweatpants out of his suitcase, but Cas rounded on his quickly, and brought his palm to Dean's ass with a loud smack.

Dean shot Cas a surprised look and the other man quirked an eyebrow, amused. "I'm sorry, Dean. I couldn't help myself," he said, not sounding sorry at all.

Dean smirked, crossing his arms over his naked chest. "Sounds like a bunch of talk to me, Cas. We both know you don't have the guts to follow through," he challenged.

Cas quickly pinned Dean against the wall. "Oh, don't I?" he growled, so unlike the timid Cas-persona outside the bedroom.

Dean liked that the freshman was becoming comfortable enough to drop the shy pretense. Cas attacked Dean's mouth with his, kissing him until they were both breathless. Without warning, he spun Dean around so he could walk him to the bed, pushing the sophomore down when his calves met the mattress. As Dean watched, Cas slowly untied his swim trunks, giving Dean his own personal strip-tease as he stepped out of his shorts and pulled his shirt over his head. Once he was just as bare as Dean, Cas tackled Dean onto the bed and began assaulting his mouth with his full sexy lips. As they kissed, his boyfriend reached between them and began to pump Dean's cock. As he teased his balls, Cas slipped a finger down Dean's crack and pressed against his entrance, and Dean's cock gave a lurch.

"Is this okay?" Cas asked and Dean nodded. "No, Dean, use your words. I need to hear you say it's okay."

Dean gulped, "Yeah, Cas, it's okay."

"What's okay, Dean? Tell me... What do you want me to do to you?" Cas growled into his ear.

The freshman's commanding tone made Dean's cock give a twitch.

"I... I want you to fuck me," Dean whispered and Cas bit his earlobe, sending a chill down Dean's spine.

 Cas slipped the tip of one finger inside of Dean, and Dean hissed at the sensation.

"I'll be right back, my love," Cas said, slipping out of bed to grab the Astroglide from where it was tucked away in his suitcase.

Pouring the gel onto his fingers, he slipped a single digit into Dean's entrance and it slipped in with little resistance. Cas hooked his finger as he began pumping in and out of Dean, hitting his prostate and causing Dean to see stars.

"Fuck baby! Just like that!" Dean shouted, not caring how much nose they were making.

He groaned as Cas scissored another finger inside of him, the slight burn subsiding almost instantly. By the time he had three digits inside of him, Dean was practically begging for more, not that he'd ever admit it.

Producing a condom from seemingly nowhere, Cas rolled the rubber onto his dick, slicking up with more lube before aligning himself with Dean's entrance. Without breaking eye contact, he slowly pushed in, and the familiar burn felt _amazing_ , heightened by the intensity of Cas's baby blues. When Cas finally leveled out, he stayed still, allowing Dean to adjust, before slowly slipping in and back out. All of Cas's commanding attitude was gone as he leaned over to kiss Dean on the mouth. Dean wrapped his legs tighter around Cas's midsection, allowing him better access as he slowly rolled his hips. But soon, Dean became impatient.

"Move, Cas," he groaned, and his boyfriend didn't need to be told twice.

He began pumping in and out of Dean, his hips slapping against Dean's ass on every thrust. He angled himself so he hit that glorious bundle of nerves and Dean knew he could probably come on Cas's cock alone if only the man continued. Thankfully, Cas got the memo and fucked into Dean harder, hitting his prostate more often than Dean thought imaginable. 

"Cas... Cas, I'm gonna..." Dean sputtered, feeling his arousal pool in his gut.

Cas kissed him sloppy, moaning into his mouth, "Dean, I'm so close..."

Both men came nearly at the same time, their combined orgasms leaving them both breathless, covered in sweat and come. If only the sticky mess between them could magically be cleaned at the snap of a finger... Dean grumbled something about wishing Cas had powers, causing his boyfriend to laugh before grabbing a washcloth to clean them both up.

Only after they were clean did Dean realize that they didn't just fuck, they made love.

* * *

On Saturday, Dean woke up first (even thought it was well into the afternoon) and suddenly he had the most brilliant idea.

“Cas,” he said, shaking his boyfriend awake. “Cas.”

“Whatever it is, it can wait,” Cas groaned and Dean chuckled, kissing the crown of his head.

“Cas…” he said again, and Cas peeled his eyes open, shooting Dean a murderous glare. “Cas, let’s get tattoos!”

The two of them went to Atomic Tattoo, a parlor within walking distance from their motel. On the way there, Dean grabbed Cas's hand and kissed it, sensing his boyfriend, the sex god, had returned to his usual sheltered nervousness.

"Hey, you don't have to get one if you don't wanna," Dean assured him.

Cas shook his head. "I want to I'm just... worried it'll hurt."

"Dunno," Dean shrugged. "Never got one before."

Cas pondered this for a moment as they walked. "Can you go first? I want to get one but..." he trailed off, his eyes wide with fear.

Dean chuckled. "Yeah, sure thing babe."

At the parlor, Dean drew the symbol his mother wore around her neck onto a pad of paper so the artist, Pamela, had something to work off of.

"So basically a pentagram surrounded by flames?" she asked and Dean nodded.

"Yeah, my mom was a wiccan..." Dean said with a shrug. "I don't really buy into all that, but it reminds me of her so..."

Pamela nodded, understanding. She instructed Dean to take off his shirt and sit down in her chair. She even allowed Cas to hold his hand as she inked into his pec muscle. 

As soon as she finished, after assuring Cas it didn't feel all _that_ bad, the freshman drew some strange symbols onto a notepad and asked Pam to ink him just above his hip bone. When Dean asked him what the symbols meant, Cas told him it was some angelic language mumbo jumbo he didn't really buy into.

"I don't believe in magic," Cas said, as Dean held his hand and Pamela began tracing the symbol onto his skin. "But I was named after an angel so I believe it's pretty appropriate."

"What's the spell supposed to do?" Dean asked, curious.

Cas smiled fondly. "Well, according to the stories, Castiel -angel of Thursday- rebelled against Heaven all because he fell in love with the human under his charge, the Righteous Man," he said, obviously recalling a tale he was told as a child. "He tattooed this spell into his skin to hide from the other angels. He didn't want to be found and dragged back to Heaven, back to the family who rejected and abandoned him. Instead, he chose to live out the remained of his lovers days by his side. He chose free will."

"And the other angels, they resented him for this?" Pamela asked as she did her thing.

"They saw Castiel the same as Lucifer. But, the devil fell in rebellion _against_ humanity whereas Castiel fell _for_ humanity in every way possible..." Cas said, goofy smile on his face despite the needle coloring his skin.

"That's a beautiful story Cas," Dean told him.

And it was. Dean could see how something like that meant a lot to the man, even though it was fantasy. Sometimes, the fictional stories were the ones we related to the most. And Cas picked a good one to be his mantra. He picked free will, an act of rebellion, of love.

Dean couldn't be more proud of his angel.

* * *

  **Cas:**

After getting permanent ink etched into their flesh, Dean suggested they eat at IHOP. It was well after midnight by this point so the only other people in the restaurant seemed to be high or drunk college students, but according to Dean that was the funnest time to eat there. Dean got New York Cheesecake Pancakes and teased Cas relentlessly over his Cupcake Pancakes (“They have fucking _sprinkles_ , Cas!”) but Cas didn’t care because they were _fantastic_.

The stars shone bright as they walked back to the motel, hand in hand. When they rounded a corner, Cas pressed Dean against the cool brick of some random building and kissed him senseless. The sophomore grounded and rocked his hips into Cas, almost prompting the freshman to suck him off right there in the alleyway. But then, Cas felt his phone buzz in his pocket and reluctantly tore away from Dean to check it. His heart stopped when he saw the caller ID. He quickly answered, his hands shaking as he put the phone up to his ear.

“Anna?”

 _“Hello, Castiel. I was wondering if we could meet up somewhere to talk,”_ his sister said as if it hadn’t been close to a year since they last spoke.

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The infamous Oh My Dayum Five Guys video. An oldie but a goodie [[x]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcJFdCmN98s)
> 
> I’ve only been to Disney World once. I was 17. I’m now in my mid twenties. It was a while ago so I might not have things 100% accurate. But I rode Pirates of the Caribbean TWICE (because the line was surprisingly short?) but the line for Space Mountain was too long so we didn’t go on it. Haunted Mansion was fun tho.
> 
> Also, NASA museum and shuttle launch. And seawater is WAY saltier than I expected lol. And the fancy pier restaurant story is something that happened to me irl. And no, garlic butter does not come out of khaki shorts. And the “strawberry soup” shit is NOT made up. Really fucking happened.
> 
> And I have no idea what kind of bird that was but… True story.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LGBT Artist Tom Goss - Son of a Preacher Man [Cover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJStTqPmcMY). Since Chuck is a pastor in this I thought it might be appropriate (and it's sponsored by the Trevor Project, a hotline for LGBTQIA+ youth).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG guys I am so sorry! The content of this chapter was hard to write and I've been busy af. It's been over a month but I promised I'd never abandon a fic and I love writing it so don't you guys worry your pretty little minds.

**Chapter 12**

**Cas:**

“Anna?”

_ “Hello, Castiel. I was wondering if we could meet up somewhere to talk,”  _ his sister said as if it hadn’t been close to a year since they last spoke.

Dean whispered, “Your sister?” from beside Cas but the freshman barely head him. He felt himself sink down the brick wall and pull his legs towards his body, hugging himself in a one handed fetal position.

_ “Castiel? Did you hear me?” _

“Y-yeah. I, uh, I just don’t know what to say,” he admitted.

Cas could feel Dean sit down beside him and leaned into the sophomore when he put a strong arm around him.

_ “I know. I… I abandoned you, Castiel. You have the right to be angry. But I’d prefer it if you would tell me off in person rather than over the phone. That’s all I ask,”  _ Anna said softly.

There was a pregnant pause before Cas said, “Yeah, sure. I don’t see why not.”

_ “Great!” _ Anna exclaimed, obvious excitement in her voice.  _ “I Googled restaurants near your campus and I saw there was a Biggerson’s nearby. How does dinner tomorrow night sound? About eight o’clock?” _

“Uh, we’d have to leave pretty early,” Cas said, turning to Dean who began enthusiastically nodding his head. “Yeah. Yeah, that could work.”

_ “Thank you so much, Castiel! You have no idea how much I’ve missed you!” _

If Cas was being honest, he missed his twin too. How could he not? They shared a womb after all. That didn’t mean he was willing to let her off the hook, however.

“Yeah, sounds great. I’ll see you then,” he said before hanging up. Surely his sister had more to say, but he didn’t want to hear it. Whatever excuses she had to offer, he didn’t want to hear them over the phone.

Cas didn’t say anything for a long time after he hung up the phone. Eventually, Dean rose to his feet and extended his hand to pull Cas up. Rather than take it, the freshman simply stared at it.

“Come on, man, don’t leave me hanging,” Dean said, wiggling his still-extended fingers.

With a sigh, Cas grabbed his boyfriend’s hand and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. The second he was standing, Dean threw his arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace.

“What did she say?” the sophomore asked.

“She wants to see me…”

Dean pulled back and gave Cas a curious look. “Yeah, no shit. Heard you say that. What  _ else  _ did she say?”

Cas shook his head. “Nothing. She, uh, didn’t want to say over the phone.”

Dean quirked an eyebrow. “You think she’s gonna try and reconvert you or…?”

“No,” Cas said, sounding more confident than he felt. “I really think she just wants to talk. She probably wants to apologize… She admitted she ‘abandoned’ me.”

“Well she’s not wrong,” Dean told him, but his face broke into a smile. “But I’m happy for you. You guys deserve a second chance.”

And maybe Dean was right. This was a second chance. A chance to reconnect with his sister and maybe even repair his relationship with the rest of his family, though that was a long shot. It wasn’t as if his mother and father wanted anything to do with him. And besides Gabe, his brothers were all privileged pricks anyway. It wasn’t as though they were ever as close and he and Anna were.

Cas couldn’t help but smile back at Dean. As they walked back to the hotel hand in hand, he wondered what his sister would think of his sexuality. Would she approve or would she leave again? Would she call him names or simply express her disappointment?

His smile faltered a little.

* * *

They left at  _ five in the morning _ the following day so they could drive straight through to Chicago. Thankfully, Dean didn’t complain when Cas immediately fell asleep as soon as they hit the interstate. When he awoke, they were in the middle of the mountains again. Today they were clear with no sign of their signature fog. Instead, the sun shone bright upon the range, and Cas marveled at the miles and miles of rolling mountains stretched out before him. It was a truly beautiful sight and almost distracted him from how quickly Dean was taking the treacherous curves. Almost.

They arrived at Biggersons shortly before eight, due to Dean’s reckless driving (although the sophomore would never admit it). When Dean put the car in park, he turned to Cas and put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. Cas jumped slightly, realizing he was previously staring off into space.

“You’ve got this babe, don’t worry,” Dean said, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

Feeling like he might puke, Cas simply nodded and exited the vehicle. He allowed Dean to lead him towards the restaurant by the small of his back and when they walked into the lobby Cas immediately spotted Anna’s signature red hair. She was sitting with her back to them in a booth near the rear of the restaurant. 

After telling the hostess that his sister was waiting for them, Cas approached his twin in almost a trance.

“Anna?” he asked as soon as he got within earshot.

She turned and her face immediately lit up. “Castiel!” she said, raising to her feet and pulling him into a tight hug. Cas stubbornly left his hands at his side but Anna didn’t seem to care. “Oh, I’ve missed you so much,” she said into his shoulder.

“What did you want to talk about, Anna?” Cas asked stiffly.

“Um… You might want to sit down. It’s nothing bad I promise,” she said, taking her seat. When Dean sat down beside Cas, Anna looked mildly surprised. “Oh, uh, I didn’t realize you’d be bringing a friend.”

“Actually…” Cas said, looking at Dean who nodded in encouragement. “This is Dean… He’s my boyfriend.”

“Oh!” his sister said, eyebrows shooting up. “So that’s why you said ‘we’d have to leave pretty early.’ I’m assuming the two of you were on spring break somewhere? That was this week right?”

Cas was stunned by her reaction. “You don’t seem… Well, all that upset by the fact that I’m gay…”

Anna looked confused. “No, of course not! Why would I be?”

“It’s just… Well…  _ Mom  _ and  _ your church _ and… You want to be a  _ pastor!”  _ Cas stammered.

Anna looked angry for a second before schooling her face to a more pleasant expression. “Mom’s god and my God are not the same, Castiel,” she said, to which Cas raised an eyebrow. She quickly explained. “I believe that God is all around us. And I know you don’t believe in him, but you know what? I don’t think he cares if you’re a believer or not. A loving God wouldn’t make such an ultimatum. And he doesn’t give a darn about your sexual orientation. He’s not going to condemn you to Hell for loving someone like Dean either. I truly believe mother was wrong about, well, everything. That’s why I dropped out of seminary school. I don’t like the messages people are getting from so called ‘organized religion.’ I’m a spiritual person and I have a wonderful relationship with our Lord. That should be enough. I shouldn’t have to go to ‘God’s House’ to feel closer to the creator of everything! He already knows everything about me so who am I trying to impress?”

Cas let her ramble about who Dean referred to as ‘Hippie Jesus’ for a moment. He’d much rather Christians like Anna cherry pick the Bible and believe in a kumbaya, zen, loving god than be militant like his mother. Still, he didn’t agree to see Anna just so she could convince him to ‘let god in’ or anything.

“Uh… Anna, you know I’m agnostic, right? And Dean’s an atheist. You’re not really-”

“I don’t care!” Anna quickly interrupted him. “I just… I feel so  _ awful  _ for not sticking up for you when mother kicked you out. I should have been there, Castiel. I should have told her something! Said that her behavior was  _ far  _ from what Jesus would have done.”

“Anna…”

His sister had begun crying. She wiped under her eyes delicately, trying to keep her mascara from running. “I just… You’re my brother! You were my first friend and we’re family! It shouldn’t have taken me  _ this long _ to apologize to you… I’m so sorry.” A few more tears slipped down her face and she ran a hand through her hair. “You’re my twin and I abandoned you…” she whispered.

Cas’s vision became cloudy and he looked out the window, willing himself not to cry. “Anna, I know you feel bad but…” he sighed. “You feeling bad isn’t going to undo what happened, what she did.”

Cas felt Dean put a hand on his thigh. “Hey, I know it’s not really my place and that I just met you and all...” Dean started and Cas opened his mouth to interrupt before changing his mind and allowing his boyfriend to speak. “But Cas’ll come around. Just, give it time, you know? Because family is everything. And not just the families we were born with, because screw them, but the families we choose. And this is you choosing Cas. And I respect that.”

“Believe me, Dean, I would do anything to make up for what I did,” Anna said, offering the sophmore a shy smile.

The waitstaff must’ve realized they were having a moment because they hadn’t come to interrupt with drink orders or anything like that yet. And to be honest, Cas was starving. Food equaled forgiveness as far as he was concerned.

“You could start by paying for dinner,” Cas said with a shrug. 

Anna’s smile widened. “It’s a deal.”

* * *

**Dean:**

After that heartfelt moment with Anna, Dean and Cas went back to business as usual. John let Dean know that he could keep the Impala until their four day Easter weekend and that he’d be coming to retrieve it then. Unfortunately, it was too late in the semester to purchase a parking pass, so Dean had to keep her at Kevin and Channing’s. 

Even though he didn’t exactly celebrate the holiday (because other than egg hunts and the Easter Bunny, there weren’t really any secular reasons to participate other than chocolate), Dean was looking forward to the long weekend.

“Are your dad and brother gonna have lunch with us this weekend or…?” Cas asked while the two of them were folding laundry a couple days before break.

“Uh…” Dean stopped folding his pants and ran a hand through his hair. “Well, babe, we don’t really celebrate Easter so…”

“So? They’re picking up the Impala right? We could have a not-Easter brunch or just eat on campus with them. It doesn’t have to be all ‘He is Risen’ or anything.”

Cas was right, of course.

“Yeah, well, you know… Dad’s busy and, uh… traffic. It’s bad this time of year because of the holiday and such,” Dean struggled through an explanation. “So, uh, maybe they’ll have time, but maybe not. We’ll see.”

Cas hung up a shirt in his wardrobe and froze, turning slowly towards Dean with a hurt look on his face. “You don’t want them to know,” he said. “Oh my god. You don’t want to introduce me as your boyfriend to your  _ secular  _ family because you’re not out yet.” Cas put his hands on his hips and looked away from Dean. “That’s just great,” he huffed. “I thought you were ‘thinking about coming out’ to him?!”

“I was! I’m just… I’m not ready, Cas. You  _ know  _ how mad he got about the Benny thing,” Dean said with a sigh. “Isn’t me coming out on my own terms kind of LGBT 101?”

Cas sighed and sat down at the edge of the bed. “I know but… My sister took it well. I’m not saying the rest of my family would, but I’m not gonna lie about what we mean to each other if the occasion ever came up to tell them,” he said, his voice small.

Dean took his hand and Cas didn’t pull away. It was a good sign.

“Hey, I know how shitty it is… And I know I’m not winning any boyfriend of the year awards but, uh, we can do lunch with them. If you want,” Dean told him.

“But?”

“But, maybe we can keep the whole boyfriends thing on the DL for a while? At least until I tell Sam. I just… I wanna get his advice on how to tell Dad first, you know?”

Cas nodded and brought Dean’s hand to his lips, kissing it softly. “Okay. Your terms are acceptable,” he said with a small smirk.

* * *

On Saturday, as promised, after giving the Impala back to his dad, Dean invited him and Sammy out to lunch. As expected, John was more than up for a meal with both his boys. Last time, Dean made the excuse that he had to be out of the dorms but a certain time for Spring Break and that he was eager to get on the road to go to Florida. Otherwise, John would have wanted to do something before he left. But, like the chicken shit he is, he was so afraid to tell Cas that he wasn’t ready to come out. Instead, he came up with some flaky excuse to tell Cas about John working early in the morning and not being able to stay to grab a bite. Cas probably saw right through it.

This time, at least Cas knew that John didn’t know.

They met John, Sam, and Sam’s new girlfriend Eileen at a local burger joint just off campus. The place had a veggie burger Dean heard was pretty decent as well as some pretty epic meat monstrosities like a burger with a fried egg or one with peanut butter and jalapenos (hey, don't knock it till you try it!)

Apparently Amelia had gotten back together with her ex in the stairwell while she and Sam were still dating. Eileen was a friend from cross country. Dean was pretty sure he recognized her from Sam’s group of friends. Well, good. Friendships made the best relationships as far as Dean was concerned.

He looked to Cas perusing the menu beside him. The way his face scrunched up when he tried to concentrate was just too adorable for words.

“The veggie burger any good?” Eileen asked and Dean glared at her a moment before he realized he was staring a little longer than appropriate.

“Not you too!” he groaned, making sure not to cover his face in his embarrassment so that Eileen could still read his lips. “Sammy here give you an ultimatum? Love Jesus and hate meat?”

“Eileen was vegan before I was,” Sam said defensively but he still had a goofy smile on his face. “And she’s Wiccan.”

Dean nodded. “Our mom was Wiccan.”

John scoffed from across the table. “Personally I think it’s all bullshit,” he grunted, setting his menu down. “I used to argue with your mother about it all the time. It’s all made up and unorganized. Say what you want about the Christian religion, but at least they all agree on the whole Jesus thing. Tell me, Eileen, do you believe magic guides the cosmos?”

“Dad!” Sam gasped. “Don’t pull that here. Not now.”

“Don’t pull what? I’m just saying it’s mysticism. Nature doesn’t give a shit about you darlin’, I’m sorry.” Dean kicked him in the shin under the table. “Ow! What the hell was that for?”

“Watch it, Dad. I mean it,” Dean warned.

“What? Am I not allowed to have a friendly debate?” John asked with a dramatic eye roll. “I swear you kids are all too PC and liberal for my tastes. Can’t say shit about other people’s religions, can’t say shit about the gays…”

Dean glanced over at Cas. The freshman looked extremely uncomfortable.

“Dad, seriously. We have guests,” Dean said through clenched teeth.

“Right, so I have to be on my best behavior for your  _ roommate  _ and Sam’s latest bimbo?”

Eileen’s jaw dropped open and Sam made a huffing noise and crossed his arms. “Eileen is one of the smartest people I know. She is  _ not  _ a bimbo.”

“And Cas isn’t my roommate,” Dean said in an adrenaline fueled moment of bravery. “Well, I mean, he is… but he’s so much more than that.”

John snorted. “What, is he your boyfriend or something?” he asked with a small chuckle.

“Yes, actually.”

John laughed but when he saw Dean’s face, his brows knit together and he looked between the Dean and Cas. “Wait, you’re serious?”

Dean nodded and took Cas’s hand under the table for support. “As a heart attack.”

John shook his head and a small grin appeared on his face. “No, this is some sorta April Fool’s joke or some shit. You’re just pulling my leg,” he insisted.

“Dad, that’s tomorrow,” Dean said, looking his father straight in the eye.

John shook his head. “No, tomorrow’s Easter.”

“They’re the same day this year!” Dean shouted. He wanted to bang his head against the table. “Dad, I’m serious. Cas is my boyfriend. We’ve been dating for a couple months now.”

Right at that moment their waiter decided to show up. “Can I get you all something to drink?” he asked, taking out a pen and pad of paper from his apron.

John Winchester glared at the young man. “Can’t you see we’re in the middle of something?! I swear, kids these days don’t have their fucking heads screwed on straight!”

Sam wasn’t having any of that. “Hey! Don’t yell at him. He’s just doing his job,” he said before turning to the waiter. “Can you just bring out a pitcher of water? Thanks.”

The waiter nodded mutley and backed away from the table as if confronted by a large woodland creature. He retreaded through the swinging kitchen door back to safety, away from the middle aged man who was currently red in the face, staring at his youngest son like he could melt his brain if he tried.

“Does the fact that you’re brother’s  _ gay  _ not even faze you?”

Sam shrugged. “He’s not gay. Probably bi or pan. And, no, not really. Because I know Dean. I’ve paid attention.”

“And I haven’t?”

“Clearly.”

“Can I speak for myself please?” Dean huffed.

Cas, who hadn’t said a word this whole time, squeezed Dean’s hand tighter. “Maybe we should just leave?” he suggested.

“Maybe you should,” John agreed.

Eileen clenched her jaw, apparently trying to keep her cool. “That’s a shitty thing to say,” she said, fixing John with a hard stare.

“It is. You’re better than that,” Sam agreed.

“No,” Dean shook his head. “He’s not.”

Dean got up to leave and Cas followed. But the freshman paused, making a split second decision and turning to John. “It’s pretty hypocritical of you to welcome me into your home when you thought I was straight and then reject both me and your son after you learn that we’re not,” Cas said and John scoffed. “It’s petty, and small minded, and Dean deserves so much better.”

“Boy, don’t you-”

“Don’t what? Defend the man I’m in love with? You’re right, how rude of me to consider his feelings above your bigotry. Let’s go, Dean.” And with that, Cas turned on his heels and left.

“Uh...” Dean looked between his father’s now purple faced anger and his brother’s empathetic puppy dog eyes and sprinted after Cas.

“Dean wait up!” Sam shouted, following him outside with Eileen on his tail.

Dean ignored him and looked around for his boyfriend. “Cas?” he said, spinning in a half circle.

“Dean I am so sorry,” Sam continued. “I had no idea he could be so… He’ll turn around, I’m sure of it.”

“Yeah that’s great, Sam,” Dean said absantly. “Cas?!” he shouted, hoping to god his boyfriend was somewhere nearby and hadn’t been, like, kidnapped or something.

He fished his phone out of his pocket and was about ready to call him when he saw Cas down the road talking to somebody in a gold Lincoln Continental. Dean dashed across the street and began to jog towards the vehicle. As he got closer he saw what appeared to be a middle aged man with familiar blue eyes and unruly hair.

Was that… Cas’s dad?

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're wrapping up here. Got one more chapter and an epilogue planned. I'll try to post sooner, but don't be surprised if it takes more than a week.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see... A shorter chapter than I intended because I'm trying to play catch up with all my fics before I start on a new project that I'm not sure I'm allowed to talk about *wink wink*
> 
> Also, I headcanon that the only reason Dean sleeps around in canon is because he believes his job prevents him from being in relationships. Moving around so much growing up kept him from having friends and girlfriends. This Dean is different.
> 
> Warning: mild bdsm. A little bit of stalking. Horrible parents. Cheating (not Dean or Cas). Homophobia. Transphobia. A lot of bad.

**Chapter 13**

_This broken heart can still survive_

_With a touch of your grace_

_Shadows fade into the light_

_I am by your side, where love will find you_

_\---_

_What about now? What about today?_

_What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?_

What About Now - Daughtry

* * *

**Cas:**

Cas’s face was hot as he made a swift exit into the cool spring air. His hands were clenched into fists as he walked and his eyes stung with unshed tears. He would not cry. Not for John Winchester.

Without realizing it he made his way across the street. He sat down on the bus stop bench and put his head in his hands. He heard a car pull up at the curb and looked up through the slits of his fingers. It was some old timey beige car that was probably popular in the 70s. Before he had time to assess whether he liked it or not,  the window rolled down and he heard a man’s voice.

“I was wondering if you could help me find my son?” the voice asked. But this wasn’t just any voice, it was the voice of Charles Novak, Cas’s father.

Cas rose to his feet and approached the vehicle.

“Dad?” he asked, unsure weather his ears were playing tricks on him.

As he stepped closer, he saw the graying dark hair, unruly beard, and kind face with bright blue irises that belonged to his father.

Chuck smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. It made him look sad.

“Hello, Cas.” He offered a small nervous laugh and cleared his throat. “Long time no see.”

Cas was just about to tell him off when Dean caught up with him.

“Cas, what the fuck? Is that your dad?” he asked. He sounded slightly out of breath.

“Ah, you must be Dean,” Chuck said and Dean shot him a confused look. “Anna told me all about you.”

 _Of course_ she did. Cas sighed. He should have known her meeting had an ulterior motive.

“What do you want?” he asked. He regarded his father cooly.

Chuck got out of the car and Cas took a step back, crossing his arms in a defensive posture. “Well, I was hoping we could, you know, catch up,” the man said, his voice small.

“Are you serious right now?” Cas asked, failing to control his rage. “You really think you can just waltz back into my life and ‘catch up?’”

“I heard what your mother did…” Chuck started but trailed off.

Cas gestured for him to continue. “Yeah? So where were you?”

“Son…”

“No, what did you think was going to happen? Did you think I’d give you a hug and we’d go play catch in the Quad? Screw you!”

Dean put his hand on Cas’s shoulder. Only then did Cas realize he was shaking. “Babe?” his boyfriend asked, concerned.

His father looked between them, his face pained. “Listen, I know I’ve been gone for a while. I missed a few birthdays…” Chuck said with a sigh.

Cas scoffed. “You missed my graduation t-to go live the bachelor life in California!”

“That’s not what happened,” Chuck said, his voice hardening.

“Yeah? Well, tell me Dad, why did you leave? Were we not good enough for you? Was _Mom_ not good enough for you?”

“Of course you were. _Are_. And you mother was the love of my life.”

“Was?”

Chuck looked away. “I… I don’t want to discuss it right now…”

“Typical…” Cas sighed, turning away from his father like an pouting child.

“Uh, sir?” Dean said, stepping in. “If not now, then when? Because, Cas deserves an explanation. He deserves an apology.”

Chuck sighed. “You’re right. Look… I’m sorry, okay? I… I don’t really want to go into this right here. Can we meet for lunch tomorrow? We can do Easter brunch like the good old days…”

Cas was about to say no, angrily ask why in the hell he would want to do Easter brunch when he didn’t even celebrate Easter. But he restrained himself. “Okay,” he said quietly, giving in. The man was his father after all. And he was at least attempting to make things right. That was more than his mother would have done in a million years.

Across the street, he saw Sam watching them. The youngest Winchester was giving them a concerned look. They’d have to fill him in later, but for now, Cas just wanted to go back to his dorm and bury himself in a cocoon of blankets.

* * *

Cas sighed dramatically and threw himself down on the bed face first, groaning into the pillow.

He felt the bed sink down beside him and then Dean’s hand started slowly caressing his back.

“I just… I hate him so much,” Cas said, voice slightly muffled.

“I know,” Dean told him, continuing to rub along his shoulder blades. “I hate mine too. Daddy issues: yet another thing we have in common.”

Cas groaned again and turned around to face his boyfriend. “If I could, I’d drink a whole liquor store right now.”

Dean shook his head. “Not a good idea. But maybe we can find a non-alcoholic way to relieve stress?” He looked down at Cas, biting his lip suggestively.

Feigning innocence, Cas asked, “What did you have in mind? We could see if Charlie wants to play Super Smash Brothers…”

“I’m thinking more of an activity Charlie wouldn’t want to join us for.”

“Huh…” Cas pretended to consider it for a moment. “Magic Mike?”

“Yeah, sorta,” Dean said with a chuckle. “I could even put on a show if you wanted.”

He pulled Cas towards him and captured his lips in a heated kiss.

Breathless, Cas pulled away. “What kind of show?”

“Did I ever tell you about Rhonda Hurley?” Dean asked and Cas felt a wave of jealousy hit him hard and fast.

“No…” he said, unsure why Dean was talking about some chick.

“Uh, don’t get mad but we kinda got drunk freshman year and, uh, you know…” he said, blushing and looking away from Cas.

“I thought you only dated Cassie and Lisa…?” Cas growled, trying to ignore the anger pooling in his gut.

“I didn’t _date_ Rhonda, it was a one time drunken romp,” he said, putting up his hands in defense when he saw Cas’s face go dark. “My _only_ one night stand. Babe, I _don’t_ sleep around.”

Cas took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Surely, Dean was bringing this up for a reason. “And?” he asked, his voice harsher than he intended.

 _“And_ she, uh, well she made me try on her panties. The were pink and satiny and…” he shrugged. “I kinda liked it.”

Cas’s eyes became large as sauscers as he stared at his boyfriend. “Y-you… what?” he stammered and Dean’s face immediately fell.

“You know what? Forget I said that. It’s just that I was hoping… Nevermind. It’s really fucking weird,” Dean backtracked. He laughed nervously. “Good thing I kept the receipt.”

Cas’s dick twitched in his pants. Huh, that was unexpected. “Wait… You _bought_ panties?” he asked, trying to ignore the weird boner that was forming beneath him.

Dean ducked his head as his ears reddened. “Yeah, I did. Kinda stupid, huh?”

Cas’s arousal grew at the thought of his boyfriend’s cock tenting up a pair of lacy boyshorts. “I… Yeah, stupid,” he breathed, trying to calm the beast in his pants. Why the hell would he, a gay man, feel so aroused over the idea of another man in women’s lingerie? It just didn’t make sense.

Dean looked down at Cas attempting to conceal his crotch and smirked.

“Shit, you think they’ll take them back if I already took off the tags?” he asked, moving from the bed to his dresser. “You at least want to see them? They’re from the Dream Angels collection at Victoria's Secret…”

“Are they lacy?” Cas heard himself ask without his permission.

“Yup,” Dean said, opening the drawer. “And cheeky.”

“What color?”

“Like a rosy pink,” Dean answered, pulling out a pair of lacy pink panties from the back of his underwear drawer. He held them up for Cas to see. “Want me to try them on?”

Cas felt his jeans grow even tighter as his dick gave another twitch. He nodded, unable to form words. Why was his mouth so dry? And why was his heart beating so fast?

Dean smirked and began undressing, slowly taking off the grey henley he was wearing, rolling the garment up his abs and chest before throwing it haphazardly across the room. He then undid his belt, pulling it through the belt loops and tossing it behind him. He unbuttoned his pants and unzipped them glacially slow, his eyes never leaving Cas's from the bed. When he was down to his boxers, he turned around and slid them off, replacing them with the pink lacy panties. He allowed the elastic to snap as he pulled them up to his hips and turned around to find Cas palming himself over his jeans. 

"Like what you see, Cas?" the sophomore asked, his eyebrow raised.

"God yes," Cas admitted. Jesus this was hot. Apparently he had a panty kink. Who knew? He quickly began undressing as well, throwing his clothes every which way, but taking care to place his phone on the nightstand beside him. His dick bobbed towards his stomach and he gave it a quick tug or two before lying back against the headboard.

Dean chuckled and made his way towards the bed, taking a seat at the edge. His bulge strained behind the fabric of the lace and he adjusted himself to compensate.

"Relax, big boy," Dean said, moving to a kneeling position and straddling Cas's hips as the freshman stared up at him.

Cas grabbed his ass as Dean rubbed his crotch against Cas's, tickling the freshman with the materiel. The lace felt scratchy yet satisfying beneath his fingers as he squeezed tightly, digging his nails into the soft flesh. He perhaps squeezed a little too tightly because Dean released a sharp breath.

"I'm sorry," Cas mumbled, smoothing his palms over Dean's cheeks. "Did I hurt you?"

Dean hummed and leaned down to kiss Cas. "A little... But I kinda liked it..." he admitted between kisses.

Cas growled, pulling Dean closer. He began licking into his mouth, continuing to dig his nails into the meat of Dean's ass and thighs as he did so. Without thinking, he pulled his hand back and smacked Dean hard on one cheek, causing the sophomore to yelp into his mouth.

Cas was just about to say he was sorry when Dean took his lower lip between his teeth, effectively shutting him up. He lightly nibbled before pulling back just enough to say, "Don't you dare apologize... Do it again, but this time like you mean it."

Well, Cas didn't have to be told twice. Something animalistic took over as Cas again pulled his hand back and laid his palm hard upon Dean's ass with a sharp slapping noise that turned the flesh red. Dean's pleased hum followed by the growing wet spot on his panties told Cas he was enjoying it, so he spanked the sophomore again, and again, each smack causing Dean to wimper into Cas's mouth. The skin beneath his hand began to feel hot and his palm began to sting and yet Dean did not stop rutting against him.

He broke the kiss long enough to whisper, "Promise you'll tell me if you want me to stop," into Dean's ear.

He felt Dean smile into his neck and huff out a small laugh. "My safe word's poughkeepsie," he said as he began sucking a bruise beneath Cas's ear. "But you aren't going to hear me say it _any_ time soon... God, I hope you leave a bruise. Is that weird?"

Cas slapped Dean's ass again, enjoying the way the mound of flesh reverberated off his palm. "Maybe... But I'm kinda hoping it does too," Cas admitted.

Dean hummed and took Cas's earlobe between his teeth. "If we keep doing this, I am _not_ going to last," the sophomore admitted.

"Can you leave the panties on?" Cas asked as he dug his nails into Dean's thigh leaving moon shaped indents behind.

"If you take me from behind I can," Dean said, arching into Cas's palms.

Cas quickly flipped Dean around so he was pressed into the sophomore's back. He trailed his hands down Dean's stomach till he found the waistband of the panties and slipped his hand underneath, finding Dean's rock hard member beneath the lace. He pumped him twice, relishing in the noises that escaped Dean, before pulling away to grab the lube from the bedside table. Dean made a whimpering noise and Cas laughed as he coated his fingers.

"What am I going to do with you?" he asked as he returned to Dean, trailing a finger down his spine before slapping his ass again with his clean hand, causing Dean to thrust into the comforter.

"You could fuck me into the mattress," the sophomore offered and Cas held back a groan. He leaned over and kissed Dean on the shoulder, biting it before gently smoothing it over with his tongue.

He pulled Dean's asscheeks apart and moved the fabric aside so he could tease his entrance. The sophomore arched into the touch as Cas trailed a slick finger around his rim.

"Come on, Cas!" Dean begged and Cas slipped the first finger in.

Dean made a pleased noise as Cas began pumping in and out of him. He soon slid in a second digit and hooked his fingers so that they found Dean's prostate, causing the sophomore to cry out. By the time he inserted a third finger, Dean was leaking precum from the lace and onto the bed.

"Please..." he begged again and Cas grabbed the purple bottle from beside him on the bed and coated his length in it.

He lined himself up behind Dean's waiting hole and slowly pushed himself in. Dean was tight and warm as he bottomed out and Cas leaned over to kiss him on the back before he began thrusting.

Dean's breath came out in pants as Cas pounded into him. "Let go baby... I wanna feel you," Dean said and Cas grunted a response, pulling Dean closer.

The slap of skin on skin as Cas slammed into Dean was almost enough to send him over the edge, but he wasn't quite ready to come just yet. He snaked his hand around to Dean's front and grabbed his cock beneath the panties once again and began pumping Dean in time with his thrusts.

"N-no," Dean said, and Cas slowed down. He was about ready to pull out when Dean uttered, "Wanna come on your cock... P-pin my hands behind my back."

Cas growled again and readjusted them so Dean was laying on the pillows and he pulled the sophomore's arms behind his back, pinning them down with his body. He found his pace once again, getting closer and closer with each beautiful noise that came from Dean's lips. Finally, he leaned over and bit Dean's shoulder, and the sophomore cried out, coating the bed in the spank that leaked from his panties. Cas soon followed, filling Dean with his own seed before collapsing on top of the sophomore. 

Cas was just about to fall asleep in his own filth when he heard his phone buzz from the table beside him. He blindly reached out and blearily read the message on the screen.

_Sam: Dean's not answering. We're leaving early tomorrow morning. Dad doesn't want to wait around._

Well, that just put a damper in their evening.

* * *

The next morning they met with Chuck at a hot brunch spot nearby. Apparently he’d placed reservations in advance. His father'd been planning this.

Chuck looked up from the book he was reading when he saw them approaching the table. He dog eared it and sat it down on the booth seat beside him. Cas cringed at the mistreatment of literature.

“Cas! I’m so glad you could make it!” Chuck said as he got up. He opened his arms wide as if to give Cas a hug, but the freshman crossed his arms over his chest and glared at his father.

Chuck awkwardly put his arms down by his side and shoved his hands in his pockets, rolling back and forth on his heels. He went to say something, thought better of it, and sat back down instead. Cas and Dean followed suit, sitting across from the man at the table. Cas slid into the booth first, followed by Dean.

For a few minutes, nobody said a word. It was the single most uncomfortable experience of Cas’s life. He was just about to break the extended awkwardness when their waiter appeared.

The young man opened his mouth to say something along the lines of, ‘Hiya folks. Can I start you guys off with an appetizer so at least you have something to do other than glare at the table and think about all the places you’d rather be?’ but Chuck held up his hand, interrupting the kid to say, “Just coffee.”

“Same,” Cas said, not even bothering to open a menu. He wasn’t hungry anyway.

The kid turned to Dean, nervous eyes wide.

“Well, I want actual food,” Dean said, reaching around Cas to grab a menu. “Uh, let’s see… I’ll take the sunrise special. Over-easy. And can I have bacon AND sausage? Thanks.” The kid nodded and backed away. His retreat was met with more silence. “Well, this is awkward,” Dean said after a moment.

Chuck sighed, finally looking up. “There’s no easy way to say this so I’m just going to come out and say it…” He took a breath to steady himself. “Your mother cheated on me. With Michael. That’s why I left.”

Cas blinked. Well, that was unexpected. “But, you… you guys were leaders in the church. You were the pastor! How could she cheat?”

“Because I was starting to have doubts,” Chuck said, his voice exasperated. “We fought all the time, Cas. All the time. It seemed like everything would just set her off. I was walking on eggshells. I was losing my faith and I had no one to turn to… I wanted to quit and she threatened to leave me… I thought it was just empty threats so I did what was best for me. The very next day - the _next day_ \- she left me for Michael… I guess they’d been sleeping with each other for a while…” He trailed off, spinning his napkin wrapped silverware in a circle.

Cas stared at his father, unable to comprehend his words. “I… I had no idea. If I had known…” Cas looked away. “I was having doubts too. We could have helped each other.”

Chuck shook his head. “No, Son. I’m glad I left the church. I… The blatant bigotry and homophobia…”

“You misunderstand. I’m not saying I could have restored your faith…” Cas explained quickly. “I’m agnostic. I just wish I had someone who understood what I was going through is all. I think it would have helped.”

His father smiled at him. “I’m an Omnists now.”

“A what?”

“I practice Ominism. It basically means that I believe all religion contains truth, but not any one religion is one hundred percent true. So, Christianity, Buddhism, Sikhism… They all contain fragments of truth,” he said with a small smile. “I take wisdom from wherever it’s offered.”

“Huh,” Dean said, sounding impressed. “You know, that’s not half bad. Kinda a really, uh, balanced way to live.”

Chuck nodded appreciatively and their waiter returned with three coffees and Dean’s food, setting it down in front of them without a word. The three of them doctored their drinks up the way they liked them and Dean poured syrup over his food; eggs and meats as well. Chuck made a face, looking at Cas who shrugged as he took a sip of his stevia and cream. After stabbing a piece of pancake, bacon, sausage, and hashbrown onto the fork and dipping it all in the egg yolk, Dean put the syrupy, yolky mess into his mouth and groaned, closing his eyes. He then took a sip of his three sugars and two creams.

“This is fantastic,” he said with his mouthful.

Cas looked at his boyfriend and he felt a warmth and contentedness radiating from his heart. “You’re adorable,” he said dryly, though he meant it.

Dean rolled his eyes and took another bite of his food, failing miserably to hide both the smile and blush that appeared on his face.

 

Unbenounced to them, Chuck was watching their little exchange. He smiled to himself as he looked between the two, seeing how madly in love they were. He hoped that in the future, his relationship with his son would be repaired enough to officiate their wedding. Oh but he was getting ahead of himself! He hoped to at least have an invitation to their wedding.

* * *

Cas paced around the room as he dialed the familiar number. It was no longer saved in his contacts, but he knew it by heart.

“Calm down, babe,” Dean said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “If she gives you shit you can just hang up on her.”

Cas nodded as he put the phone up to his ear, holding his breath as he listened to the dial tone.

 _“Hello?”_ Naomi’s shrill voice asked.

“Hey, Mom… It’s me.”

 _“Castiel?”_ she asked, her voice a sharp intake of breath. _“I… I don’t know what to say.”_

Cas sighed, of course this wasn’t going to be easy. But ever since brunch with his father, he'd felt the need to do this. “You could start off by apologizing,” he said, taking a seat on his bed. Dean sat down beside him and put his arm around his shoulder and Cas leaned into him. It was moments like this Cas was most thankful for the man seated beside him.

 _“Me? Apologize?”_ his mother scoffed. _“You’re the reason your sister didn’t come home for Easter yesterday! When I asked where she was she said she was visiting YOU! You, you corrupted her!”_

Cas rolled his eyes. “How the hell did I corrupt her?”

_“You’re turning her away from God!”_

“That wasn’t me that was you!” Cas shouted, his heart beating faster. “There is no quicker way to get a child to rebel than to control every aspect of their lives!”

Cas almost thought his mother had hung up and then he heard soft sobbing coming from the other line.

 _"I know..."_ she whispered.  _"I just wanted... I just wanted to keep you kids safe and look what I did. I-I drove you away and into the arms of a man!"_

Well, it looked like Naomi knew about Dean.

"Did Anna tell you?" Cas asked, tugging at his already messy hair.

_"No... I had Nick's people keep tabs on you. Trail you..."_

"You what?! Mom, how could you? Th-that's basically stalking! No, not basically. It _is_ stalking."

"What?!" Dean said from beside him and Cas shook his head, putting the phone on speaker.

 _"I had to Castiel! I wanted to make sure you were okay!"_ his mother cried.

"So you hired people to follow me around?" Cas felt his nails digging into his clenched fists. "You couldn't just let me live my life?"

_"Not if you chose to live your life in such an ungodly manner. Please tell me you haven't had... relations with this-this-this homo!"_

"Hey!" Dean shouted. "This homo can hear every word you're saying."

_"Are you the young man that turned my son queer? You and your faggot friends have done nothing but corrupt my little boy!"_

Dean huffed a laugh. "Hate to break it to you but your son was a 'faggot' long before he met me."

_"No, before you Castiel was with that nice Hannah girl. Sure she was confused, but crossdressing doesn't make someone another gender, contrary to popular belief. Just like acting like a cat in your kindergarten cub scouts troop did not make you a cat, no matter how much you wanted to be one."_

"Don't you dare," Cas growled. "Don't you fucking _dare_ compare trans people to kids pretending to be animals! You and every other backwards conservative politician thinks that that's a reasonable argument but it isn't! You think that not adhering to strict gender norms and wanting to be a fucking cat are the same thing? Do you honestly think trans men and women are just playing pretend and demanding everyone else plays along? Is that what you fucking think?"

 _"Don't you dare talk to me with that tone, young man,"_ Naomi warned.

"Or what? What are you going to do, mother? Get Nick's men to drag me home? What, legally, can you actually do to me?" Cas challenged.

_"It's not about what I'm going to do to you, Castiel, this is about your eternal soul. Do you honestly think there is room in Heaven for-"_

Cas hung up on his mother and threw his phone across the room, cracking it's screen against the wall.

All at once, he could no longer hold back the tears. He fell into Dean's shoulder and sobbed into his shirt.

"I am so fucking proud of you, baby. So fucking proud," Dean said as he rubbed Cas's back between his shoulder blades.

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to repair Cas and Naomi's relationship but found that I couldn't. Just like on the show, her actions are horrible and unforgivable. Sometimes, it is better to cut ties with toxic people. That is the moral.
> 
> Also, you may have noticed that I bumped the chapter count to 16. That’s because there’s one more chapter, and two epilogues coming! Yay!

**Author's Note:**

> This is a WIP. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Please kudos, comment, and subscribe!
> 
> Follow me on [ Tumblr](http://carasauruswrex.tumblr.com/) and/or [ Twitter](https://twitter.com/CasasaurusWrex) for updates and news about future fics!
> 
> Also, if you'd like, please check out my other fics [ Please Stay (I Loved You in the Darkness)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10435260/chapters/23040303) and [Find My Bluebird (Ramble On)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11535201/chapters/25897560) for more destiel goodness.
> 
> I promise to NEVER ever abandon a fic. I am still writing. Please be patient :)


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